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How do you deal with regret from a missed opportunity? watch

    • Thread Starter

    Recently I have missed a chance to do something I've wanted to do for a while due to a dumb decision I made months ago.

    I will begin by saying i am a regular drummer and have played many small gigs with little bands at my school yet i have never played at the big venue in my local town, this venue i have wanted to play at for a while with a good band.
    I was in this small 4 piece indie rock band for a couple of months and it wasn't going too well, i hated the lead singing and we just didn't seem to be doing anything so i didn't think much about it.

    one day the lead singer rang me really pissed off and said that i need to turn up to more rehearsals and the problem i had was i was swamped with A level work as i had just begun further maths. I didn't want to drag them down so i told them that i will let them find a new drummer who has more free time.
    It was fair enough and at the time it seemed like the best idea.
    So they decided to grab a new drummer and i stopped speaking to them completely.

    Within a few weeks they had already booked multiple gigs at this venue I always wanted to play at, and had written plenty of songs, at this time i was at peace with it because i knew i was just too busy to commit and just said to myself "don’t think about it".
    Then recently their debut gig happened and literally EVERYONE went from my school and it was a massive deal. I decided to tag along and support them and I feel that wasn’t a very good idea.

    I really wanted them to be bad!
    They ended up being really good!
    At this point i started to be hit by the horrid feeling of regret of leaving the group.

    I keep telling myself that i have to move on and i am sure there will be more opportunities but i feel i really missed out of being part of this event.
    Its been bugging me for a few days and I want to know what are your methods for dealing with stuff like this and if something like this has happened to you?
    I am sorry for the wall of text but it’s fun to vent a little bit

    Not much you can do. Venting a little is a bit useful.

    But best is probably putting it in perspective. In 10 years time is this going to be important to you? Probably not.

    You'll have done loads of great things, and played better stuff, and had loads of great experiences. Sure,this one didn't come off, but others will.

    I know I've felt like you do. But I can't remember why now. So what was the point of me worrying about it?

    Move on, learn from it maybe (although I still think you weren't wrong to step back; if you didn't have time, you didn't have time), and look forward to the futute!

    You never know how lucky you are- in the long run, leaving that band might have been the best thing that could have happened to you in order to be that successful person you will be. Now just concentrate on the NOW, the present and live it to your fullest (& revising for exams lol)!
    • Thread Starter

    Thanks a lot everyone, you've helped a lot and allowed me to narrow my focus on what's important, I believe that learning from this is the best move as i can see that these small little hiccups only stay in your memory for a short while until it get replaced by something better and more worth my time thinking about,
    I needed to hear your support, cheers
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