This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

Forbidden love

Edited from full post because anon doesnt bleeding work. :redface:

Has anyone experienced forbidden love? It can be in any form: teachers, age gap, location distance, same sex, anything. Discuss.

Reply 1

Lolly-88

13

I have a few time...it sucks. Why do you ask?

aye, rubbish.

OP

Lolly-88

I have a few time...it sucks. Why do you ask?

Well I have a problem but I dont really want to share it under my identity. I tried to post it via anon but the anon function has not been reinstated yet so I had to do an uber edit :redface:

Basically I am experiencing forbidden love, where the odds are stacked against us, and I was looking for advise, experiences, etc. meh.

Reply 4

Dinoceros

12

hmmm........is it the REALLY REALLY REALLY forbidden one which you listed above.......because some of them werent really so much as forbidden but more awkward...........................you could PM me if you dont want to discuss in public?

Reply 5

princesshannah1986

Well at the moment Im in a bit of a messy situation. Here is my story...I am now 20. I met a guy called Rupert (no jokes please) when I was in yr 9 (15 years old) and he was in year 8 (14 years old). We went out for 9 months and it was a silly school break-up. However he was my first love and now nobody can live up to him. We are still in touch to this day. I love him. He lives quite far away so we used to use that as an excuse for us not being able to be together. Then one day he said to me lets forget the distance, lets be together, and I broke his heart and said I couldnt coz for the last two years I had been seeing somebody else. I then made a life changing decision. I chose to end my 2 yr rship for Rupert...only, guess what? I was too late. Now he is with somebody else and I cant be with him. We love each other and we both want to be together but we just cant be. Certainly a forbidden love...

Reply 6

Tufts

OP

17

becca0770

hmmm........is it the REALLY REALLY REALLY forbidden one which you listed above.......because some of them werent really so much as forbidden but more awkward...........................you could PM me if you dont want to discuss in public?

Awkward distance issue. Mutual feelings for eachother but huuuuuuuuuge distance. ;yes;

Reply 7

Tufts

OP

17

princesshannah1986

Well at the moment Im in a bit of a messy situation. Here is my story...I am now 20. I met a guy called Rupert (no jokes please) when I was in yr 9 (15 years old) and he was in year 8 (14 years old). We went out for 9 months and it was a silly school break-up. However he was my first love and now nobody can live up to him. We are still in touch to this day. I love him. He lives quite far away so we used to use that as an excuse for us not being able to be together. Then one day he said to me lets forget the distance, lets be together, and I broke his heart and said I couldnt coz for the last two years I had been seeing somebody else. I then made a life changing decision. I chose to end my 2 yr rship for Rupert...only, guess what? I was too late. Now he is with somebody else and I cant be with him. We love each other and we both want to be together but we just cant be. Certainly a forbidden love...

Ouch.

That's a classic case. Does he still love you now?

Reply 8

Dinoceros

12

ahhhhhhhh. i see. have you talked to guy/girl in question about it? as in, youve both discussed your feelings for each other - if you both like each other then surely it could be worth a shot. i kind of did a long distance relationship (but that wasnt THE forbidden love i mentioned before) and we spoke for about 6 months every day. the reason it ended was cos he was married and she found out, not cos of the distance : D

Ive had rather severely dysfunctional relationships unfortunately.

But yeah, if no one else is getting hurt, and you like him/her enough to want to hear peoples experiences, then maybe you could make it work : D

Reply 9

Tufts

OP

17

becca0770

ahhhhhhhh. i see. have you talked to guy/girl in question about it? as in, youve both discussed your feelings for each other - if you both like each other then surely it could be worth a shot. i kind of did a long distance relationship (but that wasnt THE forbidden love i mentioned before) and we spoke for about 6 months every day. the reason it ended was cos he was married and she found out, not cos of the distance : D

Ive had rather severely dysfunctional relationships unfortunately.

But yeah, if no one else is getting hurt, and you like him/her enough to want to hear peoples experiences, then maybe you could make it work : D

How can a distance relationship work if you never see eachother?

Reply 10

Dinoceros

12

Thanks to technology. If you have enough in common to talk a lot. I mean, surely you could meet up at some point in each of your lifetimes?

Reply 11

princesshannah1986

Does he still love you now? --> Yes he does still love me but because he is with someone else now, he is confused about what he really wants. Its just driving me crazy. He is coming to see me in July so Im hoping it will help him to see that its me he should be with. If he chooses her tho I will understand, I love him and I just want him to be happy either with or without me x

Reply 12

Tory_boy

2

I know someone who has a distant relationship with a guy. She regularly speaks on the phone with him and when possible she flies out to see him and vice versa. They seem to be pretty strong as well but then they probably don't argue as much as in other relationships. She once asked me whether I thought distant relationships worked and I said firmly: 'NO', but she didn't seem to mind my p.o.v and years later they are still in a strong relationship.

IMO, distant relationships can only work if you feel comfortable in believing that it will be worthwhile even though you are so far apart. Also, IMO, you need to be sure that you would still want to be with the same person till as far as possible into the future as you can see. Thats how I think the aforementioned relationship has been able to survive. Even though they can't definitively say when, they are sure that when they get jobs they will be able to see each other more often.

Reply 13

wilbur

1

Why have you described same sex love as 'forbidden'?

Reply 14

L i b

19

wilbur

Why have you described same sex love as 'forbidden'? :confused:

Same sex on the pier is dangerous and forbidden!

Reply 15

spacecowgirl89

1

wilbur

Why have you described same sex love as 'forbidden'? :confused:

Maybe because the person might not be gay/bisexual. So they might definitely not [ever] feel the same way about you.

Reply 16

lovechunnel

dont think of it as forbidden, think of it as forSEXY!

Reply 17

King Hippo

9

Tory_boy

IMO, distant relationships can only work if you feel comfortable in believing that it will be worthwhile even though you are so far apart. Also, IMO, you need to be sure that you would still want to be with the same person till as far as possible into the future as you can see. Thats how I think the aforementioned relationship has been able to survive. Even though they can't definitively say when, they are sure that when they get jobs they will be able to see each other more often.

I agree with that.

Tufts, is this person able to, say, visit you at weekends? I'd assume you're both committed to Uni or work, but then the weekends wouldn't affect that. I mean, I'd assume it's a UK-based thing and he's not living in France or America or something?

I remember you saying a while back that you were thinking of moving closer to Durham uni. What if you tried to determine whether, once you moved, this person was willing to travel and stay with you (or vice versa) during weekends, and then obviously for longer during Uni holidays (or, if they work, you could go and stay with them during holidays)?

One of my workmates, Martin, had to leave his girlfriend and child in Bath when he got a job in London, but he travels there every single weekend to be with them and talks to them on the phone. They're hopelessly in love.

I think if you both want this to work then nothing can stop it, especially if you can get the person to stay with you on weekends. After all, some of the other examples given on this thread involve people seeing each other far less than that and they seem happy enough.

You know I'm a mate Tufty. If you want to talk about it more, you can PM me and I promise I'll keep it anonymous.

These things are tough (trust me, I'm in a similar situation right now actually), but I'm a firm believer that if two people want to be with each other it'll happen. :hugs:

Reply 18

interlude88

8

I was in a long distance relationship( UK and The Netherlands) until recently and it was the most difficult relationship I've ever been in. It probably depends on the people involved though.

Reply 19

Tufts

OP

17

wilbur

Why have you described same sex love as 'forbidden'? :confused:

Sorry, I'm not homaphobic. I should have been more concise. For example, if you have been strait all your life, then begin to fall in love with your best friend (who sees you as a best friend and nothing else). Thats a situation where the love could be forbidden.

Forbidden love

Related discussions

Articles for you