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He's not attractive, does drugs, and doesn't care about me. But I still want him :( Watch

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    Please help set me free TSR people and talk some sense into me!

    So basically I've been suffering unrequited feelings with someone for a while now. I don't get many guys interested in me or pursuing me and at one point I thought this guy who later became my friend liked me. I got really excited about it and ended up falling for him pretty hard. The irony is it seems he never liked me in the first place, so I'm just a fool really

    He made it clear that he doesn't feel the same but I find it hard to let go. A big reason why I think I feel this way is because it hurts me that he numbs himself with drugs and alcohol, and cheap sexual thrills. I don't want to see him completely go off of the rails and I'm scared. Something pretty bad happened to him earlier in life which is why I feel he uses this stuff to try and fill the void. I just wish he would give me a chance to help him and look after him. I really do feel I can make a positive difference for him.

    I've tried to create some distance but I still think about him a lot and find myself crying sometimes. There's no reason I should hang on, and yet I do. I guess part of me believes I can still save him.

    So what I can do?
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    It sounds like you might be lacking in self confidence and so are validating yourself by allowing yourself to be led on by a possible interest from someone else, I think you do know that trying to go anywhere with this guy or pursuing him would be a bad idea, not least of all because of his situation but you said that you don't get a lot of attention from guys which could be affecting your self esteem. I would recommend distancing yourself and allowing yourself time and support to get to a point where you know how valuable you are and that you don't need someone else to tell you you're attractive, you will definitely find someone with whom you can have a long, fulfilling and happy relationship but first you need to find out how to respect and support yourself
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    And you cannot make a positive change to a man who don't wanna be changed. Lol. Find someone who will be worth your time and love. Xx
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    He's already got a mother. Actually he probably doesn't.
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    (Original post by samina_ay)
    And you cannot make a positive change to a man who don't wanna be changed. Lol. Find someone who will be worth your time and love. Xx
    Agreed.

    Dump his arse OP
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please help set me free TSR people and talk some sense into me!

    So basically I've been suffering unrequited feelings with someone for a while now. I don't get many guys interested in me or pursuing me and at one point I thought this guy who later became my friend liked me. I got really excited about it and ended up falling for him pretty hard. The irony is it seems he never liked me in the first place, so I'm just a fool really

    He made it clear that he doesn't feel the same but I find it hard to let go. A big reason why I think I feel this way is because it hurts me that he numbs himself with drugs and alcohol, and cheap sexual thrills. I don't want to see him completely go off of the rails and I'm scared. Something pretty bad happened to him earlier in life which is why I feel he uses this stuff to try and fill the void. I just wish he would give me a chance to help him and look after him. I really do feel I can make a positive difference for him.

    I've tried to create some distance but I still think about him a lot and find myself crying sometimes. There's no reason I should hang on, and yet I do. I guess part of me believes I can still save him.

    So what I can do?


    You fell for him because you liked the attention he gave you.

    It sounds like you are trying to fill a void in your life.

    Remember he has done nothing for you and doesn't deserve your love.

    Move on.
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    (Original post by drowzee)
    Agreed.

    Dump his arse OP
    Waste of space, good for nothing of a man lmao
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    Be totally honest with yourself and this might be brutal..
    You are with some guy who doesn't have feelings for you
    and has more interest in his drugs than you reciprocating
    feelings for him.

    You know the answer, just leave and find someone who deserves
    your attention; let alone your feelings and desire for a committed
    relationship.
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    (Original post by whorace)
    He's already got a mother. Actually he probably doesn't.
    You're very good because it's true. He doesn't anymore.
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    I just want to make it clear we are not together in anyway and I'm not giving him any 'goodies'. We are just friends.
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    (Original post by samina_ay)
    Waste of space, good for nothing of a man lmao
    Sums up a lot of men tbh :mmm:
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    Don't waste your time.
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    You can't "help" him. Being female does not make you a therapist.

    Well done for realising this would never work. Now cut your ties.

    Like someone else said, it sounds like you have a void in your life too. Try to fill it with something sensible. A job perhaps, or education, or an interesting hobby that doesn't involve drugs.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please help set me free TSR people and talk some sense into me!

    So basically I've been suffering unrequited feelings with someone for a while now. I don't get many guys interested in me or pursuing me and at one point I thought this guy who later became my friend liked me. I got really excited about it and ended up falling for him pretty hard. The irony is it seems he never liked me in the first place, so I'm just a fool really

    He made it clear that he doesn't feel the same but I find it hard to let go. A big reason why I think I feel this way is because it hurts me that he numbs himself with drugs and alcohol, and cheap sexual thrills. I don't want to see him completely go off of the rails and I'm scared. Something pretty bad happened to him earlier in life which is why I feel he uses this stuff to try and fill the void. I just wish he would give me a chance to help him and look after him. I really do feel I can make a positive difference for him.

    I've tried to create some distance but I still think about him a lot and find myself crying sometimes. There's no reason I should hang on, and yet I do. I guess part of me believes I can still save him.

    So what I can do?
    Stop caring so much you need to let go, it's like trying to feed a corpse and trying to love it when really it's a lost cause.
    Again with the hanging on, he doesn't care for you thus you should have no reason to love him back, it's like giving someone all your money and expecting someone to give you something back for that, they'll just gladly accept your money and won't do anything for you.
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    Really sweet of you wanting to be there for him and take care of him as a friend, you can try your best but be aware of all the baggage that comes along with a guy like that...to add on top of it you have feelings for him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please help set me free TSR people and talk some sense into me!

    So basically I've been suffering unrequited feelings with someone for a while now. I don't get many guys interested in me or pursuing me and at one point I thought this guy who later became my friend liked me. I got really excited about it and ended up falling for him pretty hard. The irony is it seems he never liked me in the first place, so I'm just a fool really

    He made it clear that he doesn't feel the same but I find it hard to let go. A big reason why I think I feel this way is because it hurts me that he numbs himself with drugs and alcohol, and cheap sexual thrills. I don't want to see him completely go off of the rails and I'm scared. Something pretty bad happened to him earlier in life which is why I feel he uses this stuff to try and fill the void. I just wish he would give me a chance to help him and look after him. I really do feel I can make a positive difference for him.

    I've tried to create some distance but I still think about him a lot and find myself crying sometimes. There's no reason I should hang on, and yet I do. I guess part of me believes I can still save him.

    So what I can do?
    Haha unlucky, you will be forever a slave to your primal urges and be attracted to the "bad boys". But I don't think it's such a bad thing, the sex will be great, but you just won't get any emotional return on your investments - until you meet a 50/50 bad boy/good guy when you are around 35.
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    #1

    (Original post by Blondie987)
    It sounds like you might be lacking in self confidence and so are validating yourself by allowing yourself to be led on by a possible interest from someone else, I think you do know that trying to go anywhere with this guy or pursuing him would be a bad idea, not least of all because of his situation but you said that you don't get a lot of attention from guys which could be affecting your self esteem. I would recommend distancing yourself and allowing yourself time and support to get to a point where you know how valuable you are and that you don't need someone else to tell you you're attractive, you will definitely find someone with whom you can have a long, fulfilling and happy relationship but first you need to find out how to respect and support yourself
    I agree I'm lacking in self confidence. When I thought he liked me I was just so overwhelmed by a bit of attention Yeah I think I need to come back to me for a little while, and then find someone who actually appreciates me I've let go of the prospect of us every being together, I'm just finding it hard to watch him circling the drain with these drugs and cheap sex.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I agree I'm lacking in self confidence. When I thought he liked me I was just so overwhelmed by a bit of attention Yeah I think I need to come back to me for a little while, and then find someone who actually appreciates me I've let go of the prospect of us every being together, I'm just finding it hard to watch him circling the drain with these drugs and cheap sex.
    Well it will be much easier to help him once you are in a better position yourself, you don't need to cut him out of your life completely and if you're friends, you can still support him and give him advice but it shouldn't come from a place of vulnerability, good luck!
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    (Original post by drowzee)
    Sums up a lot of men tbh :mmm:
    Go **** a big black dildo instead then.
 
 
 
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