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    Quick backstory:
    I'm a 17yr from the UK. The past 2-3 years have been dreadful. We (my family) found out that my mother is depressed, but also an alcoholic. She also goes out of her way to hide it, so we never truly know when she is drinking and when she is not. She has tried to get counselling, and I have tried many a time to find out what started it off, but both with no effect. Her illness has consequently put a strain on her and my fathers marriage.

    Just today, my father found a reciept in the car for a bottle of alcohol, and so there's a chance that she is drinking and taking the stupid risk of driving.

    I'm currently studying in College and with exams coming up soon, me (and my older Sister) cannot afford this additional stress - I already had to do so when I sat my GCSEs.

    We just don't know what to do, so I just simply ask if anyone can help or suggest what we should do next, it would be priceless, we just want her back to who she used to be.
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    Personally, I don't think counselling will help because they will only say things the person wants to hear and at the end of the day nothing will change because your mother is probably aware of this fact.

    I think your mother has an issue with something specific. If she doesn't want to talk about it, it's something you probably don't want to hear.

    You can change it, but you must do something that will have an impact on her. For instance, if you haven't ever told her that you're worried, do so, but if you have and she didn't change you'll need to come up with something better than just words.

    Good luck.
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    (Original post by Impressive)
    You can change it,
    Actually, no. You can't. You cannot change your Mother's behaviour. You did not cause it. You cannot cure it.

    Get yourself to Alateen. They can help you learn to cope.
    http://al-anon.org/for-alateen
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    (Original post by HFBS)
    Actually, no. You can't. You cannot change your Mother's behaviour. You did not cause it. You cannot cure it.

    Get yourself to Alateen. They can help you learn to cope.
    http://al-anon.org/for-alateen
    You don't know what caused it, don't say he can't change it.

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    (Original post by Impressive)
    You don't know what caused it, don't say he can't change it.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    He can't change it. That is one of the basic lessons of dealing with an alcoholic in the family.
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    (Original post by HFBS)
    He can't change it. That is one of the basic lessons of dealing with an alcoholic in the family.
    Basic lessons? I wonder where from.

    I don't want to repeat myself nor argue with you because I rarely rely on someone else's opinion.

    Alcohol is very serious problem and if it won't be cured soon enough, it will be harder to do so with every day.

    He mentioned depression. Here are some facts. (i know two different things, but they relate)

    1. In 2013, there were 8.2 million cases of anxiety in the UK.

    2. In England, women are more likely than men to have a common*mental health problem and*are almost twice as likely to be*diagnosed with anxiety disorders.

    3. In 2013, 6,233 suicides were recorded in the UK for*people aged 15 and older. Of these, 78% were male*and 22% were female.

    See point number 3 and think why there are more males than females. This is what 'probably' makes his mother act this way.

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    What are you implying in your final sentence?

    'See point number 3 and think why there are more males than females. This is what 'probably' makes his mother act this way. '
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    (Original post by Impressive)
    Basic lessons? I wonder where from.

    I don't want to repeat myself nor argue with you because I rarely rely on someone else's opinion.

    Alcohol is very serious problem and if it won't be cured soon enough, it will be harder to do so with every day.

    He mentioned depression. Here are some facts. (i know two different things, but they relate)

    1. In 2013, there were 8.2 million cases of anxiety in the UK.

    2. In England, women are more likely than men to have a common*mental health problem and*are almost twice as likely to be*diagnosed with anxiety disorders.

    3. In 2013, 6,233 suicides were recorded in the UK for*people aged 15 and older. Of these, 78% were male*and 22% were female.

    See point number 3 and think why there are more males than females. This is what 'probably' makes his mother act this way.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    None of those things make any of his mother's problems within his control.

    She can go and get a whole pile of help, but ultimately she will chose to do that, not the OP.

    Trust me that I am aware how intrinsically linked alcohol and depression are. I know how alcohol abuse can ruin families. I know that you can drive yourself insane trying to stop someone else from drinking. You have to learn to save yourself. Al-Anon and Alateen are charities set up to help the relatives of alcoholics.
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    (Original post by anon09871234)
    What are you implying in your final sentence?

    'See point number 3 and think why there are more males than females. This is what 'probably' makes his mother act this way. '

    I'm telling you to act and do something.

    HFBS encourages you to seek support from different sources.

    If I tell you what I imply by third point you might choose my side, but I'm giving you a free choice now because HFBS messaged me.

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    (Original post by Impressive)
    I'm telling you to act and do something.

    HFBS encourages you to seek support from different sources.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    These things can both happen, it doesn't have to be one or the other. I just want you to know that your Mum won't change her behaviour because of you. If she stops drinking, it will be because she chooses to.

    Whether that happens or not, there is a truly fantastic support system available to you in Alateen. I know because the branch for adults kept me sane when dealing with a drinker. They were brilliant, and they might be able to help you.
 
 
 
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