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Reply 1
I found out my mum had Hep C when I was in my GCSE year, and I had to take care of her a lot, so I sympathise with your situation.
Reply 2
I read until the end. Your mother is in my prayers.
Reply 3
*hugs* I really feel for you. Trying to deal with education and exams and work while you've got family problems on your mind is just impossible. I really hope you do well, just try and learn as much as possible but at the end of the day, if you don't want to revise, then you can't revise, good luck.
Reply 4
It's really hard when your parents are ill, my mum was really ill a few years ago and it does hurt, and it does leave you confused...but you do come to terms with it.
I hope whats wrong with your mum isn't too serious and you feel more comfortable with the situation. All I can say now is try to stay positive for now, you don't know what it is yet... not the best advice for now, sorry.
I hope whats wrong with your mum isn't too serious and you feel more comfortable with the situation. All I can say now is try to stay positive for now, you don't know what it is yet... not the best advice for now, sorry.
Reply 5
14
Hell, what can you say? I probably haven't got anything useful to say, but I'm really, really sorry about the situation. The only thing you can really do is support your family like you have been doing. Even though your finals obviously aren't your priority at the moment, still try to do your best in them - do it for your mum if that helps to motivate you. She won't want you to give in at the final hurdle because of her.
Would it make things easier to tell your mum and dad that you heard the conversation and you'd rather not be kept in the dark? They're trying to protect you, and not just because of your finals. You're still their little girl but you could tell them that you're an adult now and you want to know what's really going on so you can help.
Try to keep focused on the situation without blowing it out of proportion if you can. It's always easier to think the worst but no-one knows what's going on at the moment until she's had more tests/results. It may not end up being any of the things the doctor's suggested. You all have to stay strong and support each other, through the hard times and through the good times - being there for each other will be a huge help for your mum because she may be feeling like she's a burden, when she isn't and you all want to help her.
I really hope things work out somehow
I probably haven't got anything useful to say, but I'm really, really sorry about the situation. The only thing you can really do is support your family like you have been doing. Even though your finals obviously aren't your priority at the moment, still try to do your best in them - do it for your mum if that helps to motivate you. She won't want you to give in at the final hurdle because of her. Would it make things easier to tell your mum and dad that you heard the conversation and you'd rather not be kept in the dark? They're trying to protect you, and not just because of your finals. You're still their little girl but you could tell them that you're an adult now and you want to know what's really going on so you can help.
Try to keep focused on the situation without blowing it out of proportion if you can. It's always easier to think the worst but no-one knows what's going on at the moment until she's had more tests/results. It may not end up being any of the things the doctor's suggested. You all have to stay strong and support each other, through the hard times and through the good times - being there for each other will be a huge help for your mum because she may be feeling like she's a burden, when she isn't and you all want to help her.
I really hope things work out somehow
Reply 6
i know what you mean. my dad had to have major heart surgery during my GCSEs. I knwo how you feel. The best thing i did was to g in the exam and just do it for my family. because with my father recovering they could really do wiht me doing well in my GCSEs and that pulled me througha fair bit.
Reply 7
11
Hi Cathie - I hope that everything works out for you, and that the news is postive. It's terrible when your mum is ill - my mum was seriously ill a few years ago and I could barely think I was so worried. Just take one day at a time, and try not to 'overthink' things. It's so easy to sit and think of 'what ifs' and make yourself feel even worse and sometimes you really have to try to put that out of your mind and just focus on the day-to-day stuff.
Also, please go and speak to someone at your uni - I'm at the end of my third year too and I know how difficult it can be to cope with everything. My department has a fantastic Academic Support Advisor, who is brilliant and genuinely helpful. If you have anything similar it's really worthwhile going and explaining the situation to them as they can help if you're finding it too hard to cope with the exams.
Good luck with everything.
Also, please go and speak to someone at your uni - I'm at the end of my third year too and I know how difficult it can be to cope with everything. My department has a fantastic Academic Support Advisor, who is brilliant and genuinely helpful. If you have anything similar it's really worthwhile going and explaining the situation to them as they can help if you're finding it too hard to cope with the exams.
Good luck with everything.
Reply 8
I am sorry to hear about the serious worries in your family. What you describe concerning your mother does sound serious, but that doesn't mean that there might not be adequate treatment available. The fact that they haven't whisked her off to hospital to get all the tests, scans and whatnots done in a short period should be an indicator that whatever it is, it is not immediately life threatening.
You are in a difficult situation, knowing something your parents don't want you to know for your own sake. I think it would be a good idea to tell them you overheard the conversation and are very worried. It might also do your parents good to share their pain and fear with you. If you don't want to say you heard, you could say you read up on the symptoms, which are pretty characteristic (I can't get over the GP's diagnosis of "menopause"). I am sure your parents are being "strong" for their childrens sake and it might be a relief for them to share their grief. Telling you and maybe your sister will put extra strain on you, but I doubt if that strain will be worse than what you are suffering now. Even if you hadn't overheard the conversation you had already realized that the symptoms were pointing to something more serious than "menopause".
Whatever you decide to do, talking to someone about it, even if it is only here on TSR, is important.
You are in a difficult situation, knowing something your parents don't want you to know for your own sake. I think it would be a good idea to tell them you overheard the conversation and are very worried. It might also do your parents good to share their pain and fear with you. If you don't want to say you heard, you could say you read up on the symptoms, which are pretty characteristic (I can't get over the GP's diagnosis of "menopause"). I am sure your parents are being "strong" for their childrens sake and it might be a relief for them to share their grief. Telling you and maybe your sister will put extra strain on you, but I doubt if that strain will be worse than what you are suffering now. Even if you hadn't overheard the conversation you had already realized that the symptoms were pointing to something more serious than "menopause".
Whatever you decide to do, talking to someone about it, even if it is only here on TSR, is important.
Reply 9
First of all, i'm very sorry to hear that you and your family are having a tough time at the moment, it must be very difficult for you.
I can understand why your parents haven't told you, they are only doing what they think is right. They don't want to put any more pressure on you, you have enough on your plate with exams, they don't want to add to that by telling you about what was said. At this moment in time, nothing has been confirmed therefore they wont have an awful lot of information to give you. Once a diagnosis is made, they can give you all the information that is needed and you can get on with trying to make things as normal as possible. I know that right now, you will be out of your mind with worry but by telling you that it could be this, or that, the uncertainty of it all will make things worse. Once something is confirmed, you will know what your dealing with, if you know what I mean..
Talking to people is very important. Talking to family, friends, professionals or even the people here at TSR will give you a bit of releif, a chance to get things off your chest. Don't bottle things up, that tends to make things worse. I know that you must feel that you have to be strong for your family but it's okay to feel upset, and scared. It's okay for you to talk to someone too, it's okay for you to ask for help.
Keep doing what you are doing, your support will mean the world to your mother, father and the rest of your family. As difficult as it must be, keep studying away and do the best you can in exams. I really do wish you and your family the best of luck.
I can understand why your parents haven't told you, they are only doing what they think is right. They don't want to put any more pressure on you, you have enough on your plate with exams, they don't want to add to that by telling you about what was said. At this moment in time, nothing has been confirmed therefore they wont have an awful lot of information to give you. Once a diagnosis is made, they can give you all the information that is needed and you can get on with trying to make things as normal as possible. I know that right now, you will be out of your mind with worry but by telling you that it could be this, or that, the uncertainty of it all will make things worse. Once something is confirmed, you will know what your dealing with, if you know what I mean..
Talking to people is very important. Talking to family, friends, professionals or even the people here at TSR will give you a bit of releif, a chance to get things off your chest. Don't bottle things up, that tends to make things worse. I know that you must feel that you have to be strong for your family but it's okay to feel upset, and scared. It's okay for you to talk to someone too, it's okay for you to ask for help.
Keep doing what you are doing, your support will mean the world to your mother, father and the rest of your family. As difficult as it must be, keep studying away and do the best you can in exams. I really do wish you and your family the best of luck.
Reply 10
I really hope your Mum has goods news soon. I think part of not telling you is to protect you at this very important time but also that your parents would be upset knowing that you are upset and that would add to the worry for them.
I hope this makes sense but as a parent even if you are unwell your instinct is still to look after your children and this is what your Mum and Dad are probably feeling.
Also your Mum may not really have had chance to really think over the situation and by telling you this will make it more 'real' and it could be she is not up to this at the moment.
My Dad cried when he told me he had terminal cancer, I think putting it into words took all the hope away.
Although its incredibly difficult please try to concentrate on your finals as I'm sure this is really important to your Mum and do see Student Support etc so that this can be taken into account over the next few weeks.
Take care of yourself and I really hope that things turn out well for your Mum.
I hope this makes sense but as a parent even if you are unwell your instinct is still to look after your children and this is what your Mum and Dad are probably feeling.
Also your Mum may not really have had chance to really think over the situation and by telling you this will make it more 'real' and it could be she is not up to this at the moment.
My Dad cried when he told me he had terminal cancer, I think putting it into words took all the hope away.
Although its incredibly difficult please try to concentrate on your finals as I'm sure this is really important to your Mum and do see Student Support etc so that this can be taken into account over the next few weeks.
Take care of yourself and I really hope that things turn out well for your Mum.
Reply 11
Oh man, what can I say, I really hope your mum gets better soon.
Reply 12
A year ago my mum had an operation to remove a carcinoid in her lung, which is a fairly rare type of tumour. We (my family) first realised something wasn't quite right when we went away to Switzerland. When we were sightseeing she was a lot more breathless than usual, and she wasn't comfortable walking for more than half and hour really.
As people do, she tried to put it off, but we made her go to the doctor as soon as she got back. Once they found out what it was (which took a little longer than was comfortable, due to carcinoids being rare) they took her into hospital straight away and she had one third of the affected lung, removed.
She was off work for around half a year, and goes for checkups every now and again and everytime I hope and hope it hasn't come back. I just feel really lucky that she is still here 'cos I love her so much.
My advice would be to be there for your mum all the time (as it sounds like you are being). She is probably frightened within her heart and to have the full support of her family is invaluable. I think you are being very mature about not letting your parents know that you know what might be wrong with her. I'm sure they'll tell you and your sister when they know for sure what it is.
I really hope your mum gets well again.
As people do, she tried to put it off, but we made her go to the doctor as soon as she got back. Once they found out what it was (which took a little longer than was comfortable, due to carcinoids being rare) they took her into hospital straight away and she had one third of the affected lung, removed.
She was off work for around half a year, and goes for checkups every now and again and everytime I hope and hope it hasn't come back. I just feel really lucky that she is still here 'cos I love her so much.
My advice would be to be there for your mum all the time (as it sounds like you are being
). She is probably frightened within her heart and to have the full support of her family is invaluable. I think you are being very mature about not letting your parents know that you know what might be wrong with her. I'm sure they'll tell you and your sister when they know for sure what it is.I really hope your mum gets well again.
Reply 13
*hugs* I hope getting it all written down helped.
If it does turn out to be MS, feel free to PM me, my Dad was diagnosed almost a year ago with this (just after my AS levels) so I kind of know where you're coming from. Or just if you want some information, whatever, just message me :]
Personally I'd tell your parents that you overheard. You know now, and it doesn't matter whether you act like you don't know, something's changed for you. Explain to them that you overheard and didn't mean to, but let them set things out for you in plain terms so that you know what happened at the appointment and whereabouts everything is; it's the not-knowing that's the worst part of it, and at least if they tell you what they know you'll be a bit better informed when it comes to knowing what's next. The last thing they'd want is for you to be suffering in silence and feeling like you couldn't talk to them..
Don't lose hope even if it's the worst case, because the doctors can do so much
It's absolutely horrible and I'm thinking of you.
If it does turn out to be MS, feel free to PM me, my Dad was diagnosed almost a year ago with this (just after my AS levels) so I kind of know where you're coming from. Or just if you want some information, whatever, just message me :]
Personally I'd tell your parents that you overheard. You know now, and it doesn't matter whether you act like you don't know, something's changed for you. Explain to them that you overheard and didn't mean to, but let them set things out for you in plain terms so that you know what happened at the appointment and whereabouts everything is; it's the not-knowing that's the worst part of it, and at least if they tell you what they know you'll be a bit better informed when it comes to knowing what's next. The last thing they'd want is for you to be suffering in silence and feeling like you couldn't talk to them..
Don't lose hope even if it's the worst case, because the doctors can do so much
It's absolutely horrible and I'm thinking of you.
Reply 14
13
Thanks for all the replies. Its nice to know that people understand how I feel. Don't really know what else to say, other than thanks for the support!
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