Meeting a new group of people and being accepted.

How do I go about this?! I'm really worried. Soon I'll be in a situation where there'll be a formed group and then there will be me.

Does anybody have any tips for social interaction?! What can I do to make an impression and encourage people to want to get to know me and be my friend?

Hopefully you can help, it's something that I struggle with!

Thanks guys and girlies :cool:

Reply 1

dh00001

16

just join in. talk to everyone. smile at them. and be yourself. oh unless youre really shy, dont be that :p:

Reply 2

Incantevole

OP

You know, you are on to something dh0000000001!

People really underestimate the importance of talking!! I know this sounds sarcastic but I'm serious. I heard a quote somewhere once... something like,

"you can't just sit there waiting for people to discover what a little gem you are"

You have to put yourself out there!!! (Yes I realise I am giving myself advice and so)

Reply 3

Poppybird

1

Its true, unless you make the effort to talk to people and get to know them personally then you instantly cut down the number of people you become accepted by. The majority of people will not bother to make the effort to get to know you if they perceive you to be closed off. Being shy naturally is hard as it is easy to come off distant and uninterested but just try your hardest to be confident and friendly, smile a lot and try to appear relaxed and confident. Humour is also good for making an impact on people but it has to be done well.
Definitely be yourself, if you try too hard to be someone your not then you're bound to reach the point when you can no longer carry on the facade and come across plain weird!
Good luck

Reply 4

Fleece

15

Just try your hardest to be open and friendly.

I had to do this not long ago, but was accepted as part of the gang very quickly. What helped was going out with them on a night out - nothing consolidates friendships faster!

Reply 5

milly.

12

Talk to people - if they're already in a formed group then it makes no difference to them if you're their mate or not. But if you make the effort then they'll see what you're like and that'll change.

Oh, and don't act too desperate. There's nothing more unattractive than that.

:smile:

Reply 6

Struth

Just be friendly and make sure you talk to individual people as well as the group as a whole. i just usually hang around untill they like me :biggrin:

.
xx

Reply 7

ßlαcksωαn

17

First of all, don't plan, don't stress, just be yourself, try to make random conversations and enjoy yourself.

Reply 8

SoundDevastation

13

ask questions.

If you recognise people they'll probably recognise you too.. just "i've seen you around, do you know what time the bus goes?/where to hand in this essay?/wheres the best place to get a coffee?" will break the ice and get you talking...

Reply 9

Seoid

It can be hard to break into a group, because they have their established patterns, but the best thing is just to give it time and don't push it. I was in the same situation for the past year and it's only now that I'm feeling like I've broken properly into the group, which is a pain because I'm going back home next week! I think you have to have a fairly thick skin aswell and decide that you won't be offended when people don't include you or seem to ignore you - this is normal and it doesn't mean they don't like you, it just means that they don't see you as part of the group yet. You just have to hang in there, make yourself available, be flexible and open and ask questions. Try to find someone in the group that you particularly have something in common with and focus on them because this can give you gateway into the group - they will be the one who remembers you and thinks to invite you to group activities.

People in groups are often a bit thoughtless about new people - they don't remember to make an effort to include newbies and to make sure they're not left behind, so be prepared to be a bit bolder than usual - once you feel a bit more comfortable, try inviting yourself along to things - it can be really hard, but it's sometimes the only way to make yourself part of the group. For example a couple of times the group I'm in were talking about going to a film and I had to say "can I come?" which makes you feel like a five year old, but you have to remember that the group might be just as nervous as you about making that move, so you have to let them know that you're interested. I made sure I got people's numbers and kept in contact with them - over time they started contacting me and including me.

Making friends can be a tough, slow process and you just have to patient and not give up - if you seem unavailable then people will very quickly give up on you, so be open to new opportunities and be wiling to go places and do things at a moment's notice - later on you can be more picky, once you've sussed out who you'd like to be friends with.

God that turned into a bit of an essay. I know from experience how daunting it all can be, good luck!

Meeting a new group of people and being accepted.

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