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    Posting anon because some of my school-friends have started following me on here recently, but even though some of you might recognise me from the situation, I'm OK with that. Just don't start telling everyone who I am :cute:

    So... I'm trapped. Lord knows how this happened, but now I'm being forced to make a decision that breaks down even the strongest wills. Let me give you the back story:

    A little while ago, I broke up with my ex. It was painful, and left me grieving for the best part of a fortnight, but it was mostly silence and confusion for around a month before we finally got in contact again to talk about the situation. After talking, we both pretty easily understood each others' reasons and feelings about what happened, and it wasn't long before we were cool again and talking 'normally' (as normal as you can get in this situation, of course). I'd kind of accepted that nothing was going to happen between me and her ever again, and I didn't really want anything to either.

    A couple weeks ago, we had our school social. There, I ended up spending most of the evening with a girl I'd been friends with since Y7, we've been chatting every day since, and I was reliably informed on Friday that she's interested in me - a feeling which is mutual, and I was planning to ask her out at some point last week anyway (which I never got around to in the end haha).

    But here's where the problem arose. Last night, I went out drinking with a few friends... including my ex. Bad idea. We got talking again and both realised we still had feelings for each other, we weren't really happy just being friends. I told her I didn't really have time for a relationship at the moment with school taking full priority. But that's not strictly true, it's more I don't have time for a relationship with her, as she's a way away, and I can't see her at school like I do this other girl.

    So I've ended up in the situation where I have feelings for two girls. My ex whom I enjoyed several good months with before, but ended badly because of something that might not change should it happen again. And a girl at school who I've been friends with for 6 years now, we seem to be a perfect match, I know she has feelings for me too and (I think) she knows I feel the same maybe.

    What I want, and what is best for me, is to move on from my ex and ask out the second girl. But how can I possibly do that to my ex when I've already told her the reason that we don't get back together is because I don't have time for a relationship? Enough hurt was thrown around before and I don't have the strength to hurt her by getting into a better relationship.

    I really, really need some advice on what to do and how to cope with this tide of feelings. It really is tearing me apart...

    Thanks in advance xx
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    Just remember one thing and I'll let you work the rest out for yourself (you might not like it)
    You and your ex broke up for a reason. Who broke up with whom doesn't matter, you still broke up. Yeah the feelings will still be there for your ex, but you need to move on from her and have a fresh new start, with the girl at school, it's the only way you'll actually move on, and I'm sure you'll find it the best decision you've ever made
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    (Original post by CleverSquirrel)
    Just remember one thing and I'll let you work the rest out for yourself (you might not like it)
    You and your ex broke up for a reason. Who broke up with whom doesn't matter, you still broke up. Yeah the feelings will still be there for your ex, but you need to move on from her and have a fresh new start, with the girl at school, it's the only way you'll actually move on, and I'm sure you'll find it the best decision you've ever made
    I know that that's the best decision, yeah. I just don't know how to go about telling her that I need to leave her behind...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know that that's the best decision, yeah. I just don't know how to go about telling her that I need to leave her behind...
    You've got to be honest with her, sit down with her and tell her how you feel about things.
    You'd rather be honest with, than lying to her and yourself right? Trust me on this one, I've been through it myself, if your honest with her and tell her the truth, rather than leading her on, you'd be the bigger person and you won't feel bad or guilty afterwards, because you know for a fact that you did the right thing
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    (Original post by CleverSquirrel)
    You've got to be honest with her, sit down with her and tell her how you feel about things.
    You'd rather be honest with, than lying to her and yourself right? Trust me on this one, I've been through it myself, if your honest with her and tell her the truth, rather than leading her on, you'd be the bigger person and you won't feel bad or guilty afterwards, because you know for a fact that you did the right thing
    This is exactly what I want to do... it's just hard :cry2:

    Thanks for the advice :hugs:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is exactly what I want to do... it's just hard :cry2:

    Thanks for the advice :hugs:
    No probs
    Hey, I know it's hard, it is never going to be easy! I'll give you my situation for example, I liked two guys, both from two different 6th forms (my ex went to a different school), one was a really close friend who I'd started liking and the other was an ex who cheated on me with my best friend. At a party, me and my ex met after a long time, got drunk and stuff happened. But a couple of days later at school, the guy I liked from my school, sat me down in a free period and told me how he had felt for the past couple of months and he was honest, and I was honest back, i told him how i felt and we had a heart to heart for a good hour! I never spoke to my ex after that, deleted him out of my life and started things off the guy at school!!
    What I'm trying to say is that in the end it will all be fine!!
    Once you have spoken to her, tell me how it went okay!! Just PM me, I'll wait
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    (Original post by CleverSquirrel)
    No probs
    Hey, I know it's hard, it is never going to be easy! I'll give you my situation for example, I liked two guys, both from two different 6th forms (my ex went to a different school), one was a really close friend who I'd started liking and the other was an ex who cheated on me with my best friend. At a party, me and my ex met after a long time, got drunk and stuff happened. But a couple of days later at school, the guy I liked from my school, sat me down in a free period and told me how he had felt for the past couple of months and he was honest, and I was honest back, i told him how i felt and we had a heart to heart for a good hour! I never spoke to my ex after that, deleted him out of my life and started things off the guy at school!!
    What I'm trying to say is that in the end it will all be fine!!
    Once you have spoken to her, tell me how it went okay!! Just PM me, I'll wait
    Yeah, that's a very similar situation haha :cute: the only difference being the fact that my ex is still a good person in my eyes, so I don't want to hurt her as much as I was hurt before

    But yeah, I let you know what happens :yep:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, that's a very similar situation haha :cute: the only difference being the fact that my ex is still a good person in my eyes, so I don't want to hurt her as much as I was hurt before

    But yeah, I let you know what happens :yep:
    Ah!! You're both good people! just with different mind sets (if that makes sense?)
    Of course you'd both get hurt, it's all part of the process, and she will understand if you're honest with her! In the end you'll both get over it and be happy!
    You better do this soon my friend, don't leave it too late!!
    Good luck and I hope it all works out well for you!!
    I'll be waiting for an PM from you soon!!!
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    ravioliyears - turns out this weekend only complicated matters in the end :closedeyes:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ravioliyears - turns out this weekend only complicated matters in the end :closedeyes:
    If this is who I think it is, I'm sorry to hear that Youre not the only one, I did something similar today where I told this guynwho told me he likes me that I'm in a relationship when I'm not.... so I'm scrwed. Plus, I may see this OTHER guy on thursday whom my friends think likes me, and i dont know how the day will turnout..... so urm, yh. I'm screwed :yy: I'll pm you what happens


    Like the other member said before, you need to be honest with your ex. I think it would take some weight off your shoulders. The later you may leave it, the more your ex may think you want to be with her.
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    (Original post by ravioliyears)
    If this is who I think it is, I'm sorry to hear that Youre not the only one, I did something similar today where I told this guynwho told me he likes me that I'm in a relationship when I'm not.... so I'm scrwed. Plus, I may see this OTHER guy on thursday whom my friends think likes me, and i dont know how the day will turnout..... so urm, yh. I'm screwed :yy: I'll pm you what happens

    Like the other member said before, you need to be honest with your ex. I think it would take some weight off your shoulders. The later you may leave it, the more your ex may think you want to be with her.
    yh it is who you think it is :hugs:

    That's very true. I guess time isn't on my side here... it's a week before I'll see her in person though :/
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ravioliyears - turns out this weekend only complicated matters in the end :closedeyes:
    Hey!
    What do you mean by it complicated matters?
    I'm sure you're over thinking about it and it's not that bad!!
    If you want to talk about it, not so publically I can help you out, just PM me and we'll talk



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    (Original post by CleverSquirrel)
    Hey!
    What do you mean by it complicated matters?
    I'm sure you're over thinking about it and it's not that bad!!
    If you want to talk about it, not so publically I can help you out, just PM me and we'll talk
    The original intention this weekend just gone was to talk to her and work out our feelings so we could move on.
    I didn't expect it to end up with me liking her again :closedeyes:
    It's just messing with my emotions...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The original intention this weekend just gone was to talk to her and work out our feelings so we could move on.
    I didn't expect it to end up with me liking her again :closedeyes:
    It's just messing with my emotions...
    Oh.. okay, just remember what we have discussed recently yeah? I'm gonna help your fight through this! You need to be honest with yourself first, you need to tell yourself that you like the girl from and you need to move on from your ex, obviously your feelings will still be there if you keep on meeting up with her! Start slowly distancing yourself from her,talk to her less, it will be for the best, I promise!!
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    If you love you will make time ... or you will end up hurting all.

    "People, take my advice
    If you love someone
    Don't think twice

    Love you baby love
    Sugar baby love
    Love her everyday
    Love her everyday"


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9_0ZKrDY7Q
 
 
 
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