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Friends are the family you choose watch

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    I visited an acquaintance whilst in London last weekend.

    We had a vigorous discussion about inheritance.....

    She believed that children who abandoned their parents and might have treated them appallingly in their lives still have some claim by virtue of being related.

    I disagreed because "blood" is meaningless to me. What is important, imo, is how people treat me, regardless of biology.

    She followed up this discussion by stating that friendships are fickle but family is forever.

    Most of my friendships to date have expired but I've always felt that at some point, (perhaps now?) I'd meet people who are friends for life rather than all friendships simply having some type of shelf-life.

    Am I wrong or naiive? Is there some familial bond which makes even the most estranged relative better than a friend? I am neutral to loathsome towards most of my alive family and I see little point in trying to salvage or build those relationships.
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    Blood is thicker than water. i see some of my friends as family,but I don't dislike members of my family. Family will always be there but with friends they can just abandon you easily no matter how close
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    (Original post by Kvothe the arcane)
    I visited an acquaintance whilst in London last weekend.

    We had a vigorous discussion about inheritance.....

    She believed that children who abandoned their parents and might have treated them appallingly in their lives still have some claim by virtue of being related.

    I disagreed because "blood" is meaningless to me. What is important, imo, is how people treat me, regardless of biology.

    She followed up this discussion by stating that friendships are fickle but family is forever.

    Most of my friendships to date have expired but I've always felt that at some point, (perhaps now?) I'd meet people who are friends for life rather than all friendships simply having some type of shelf-life.

    Am I wrong or naiive? Is there some familial bond which makes even the most estranged relative better than a friend? I am neutral to loathsome towards most of my alive family and I see little point in trying to salvage or build those relationships.
    I really like this analogy! I think you're right. Take my mum, for example. Her best friend has been in her life since she was 11. My brother and I call her 'aunt' despite not being related and they're still best friends today - they trust each other with everything; it's quite humbling imo. I hope I can find a friend like that. My mum is 47 now!
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    (Original post by queen-bee)
    Blood is thicker than water. i see some of my friends as family,but I don't dislike members of my family. Family will always be there but with friends they can just abandon you easily no matter how close

    As can family :yep: which has been my experience. When you say family, do you mean immediate? I meant extended. The friends you see as family - do you still think they'll abandon you?

    (Original post by iEthan)
    I really like this analogy! I think you're right. Take my mum, for example. Her best friend has been in her life since she was 11. My brother and I call her 'aunt' despite not being related and they're still best friends today - they trust each other with everything; it's quite humbling imo. I hope I can find a friend like that. My mum is 47 now!
    I have a family friend like that. She is my now deceased mother's friend. And she's always been very kind to me. I stayed with her over the weekend, for instance. I've always felt more comfortable around her than my uncles.
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    Well, I don't speak to my dad and I haven't for 14 years so blood isn't always thicker than water. I don't love him, he means as little to me as a stranger whereas I have friends who I speak to daily that have been there for me when I need them. I love my mum though, she's my best friend. I guess it all depends on your experience of family life.
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    As I've gotten older, I have realised that sharing genetics/blood as someone does not dedicate closeness at all.
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    (Original post by Alice__90)
    Well, I don't speak to my dad and I haven't for 14 years so blood isn't always thicker than water. I don't love him, he means as little to me as a stranger whereas I have friends who I speak to daily that have been there for me when I need them. I love my mum though, she's my best friend. I guess it all depends on your experience of family life.
    Sorry to hear about your experience with your father.
    My experience with family isn't all negative. But I don't feel close to the ones I do because we're related but simply because they've been there for me in times of need or have positive attributes. The notion that friendships are inherently fickle is a depressing one. I'm glad you're that close to your mother .

    (Original post by loveleest)
    As I've gotten older, I have realised that sharing genetics/blood as someone does not dedicate closeness at all.
    Go on?
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    (Original post by Kvothe the arcane)
    Sorry to hear about your experience with your father.
    My experience with family isn't all negative. But I don't feel close to the ones I do because we're related but simply because they've been there for me in times of need or have positive attributes. The notion that friendships are inherently fickle is a depressing one. I'm glad you're that close to your mother .


    Go on?
    Well, I haven't spoken to my Dad in 10 years and me and my Mum aren't that close. I tell my close friends about my personal things more than my Mum and I tend to trust my friends more even though that sounds quite bad. Other than my Mum and three brothers I don't talk to any of my family.
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    (Original post by Kvothe the arcane)
    As can family :yep: which has been my experience. When you say family, do you mean immediate? I meant extended. The friends you see as family - do you still think they'll abandon you?



    I have a family friend like that. She is my now deceased mother's friend. And she's always been very kind to me. I stayed with her over the weekend, for instance. I've always felt more comfortable around her than my uncles.
    I don't know,where I'm from family is very important and Arabs and Italians,we always have family gatherings and I'm mostly super close with immediate and extended family,that said it doesn't mean that they won't abandon me but I guess it's a lot unlikely than say a friend would do?
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    (Original post by loveleest)
    Well, I haven't spoken to my Dad in 10 years and me and my Mum aren't that close. I tell my close friends about my personal things more than my Mum and I tend to trust my friends more even though that sounds quite bad. Other than my Mum and three brothers I don't talk to any of my family.
    :console: inshallah I hope you mend ties with the fam
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    I do see some of my friends as my family and there are some members of my family that I intend to never speak to again.
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    I don't think so, plenty of people cut ties with family as well the difference is people are conditioned to see the relationship as you have described above, if old friends suddenly turned up at your door and demanded to be in your life again they don't have the convenient excuse of 'being blood'. I see family in the old sense anyway, as being a domestic unit, as in, family is really who you live with on a day to day basis, the people you go through life with, some of my friends are far closer in that respect.
 
 
 
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