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Submissive and ashamed
Hello. This thread mainly applies to women, but guys can feel free to comment as much as they like... Well as you can most likely guess from the name of my thread, I am a submissive person and the more time passes, the more i become ashamed of it. I'm just wondering if any of you women would actually be in a serious relationship with a submissive guy?
And is there any guys out there that feel the same way as me?
Most men i know like to play the dominant role in their relationships with women but i don't find that appealling at all. I'm naturally a shy and quiet person, and whenever i see or speak to an attractive women i just want to get on my knees and worship their beauty. I think of women as so much more superior to men and in general i find them alot better people. I think i have problems. I've just never came across a female that enjoys being the dominant one in a relationship. It's so overwhelming sometimes i can't take it. I'm obsessed with women and their ways but i'm afraid i'll never have a healthy relationship with one. I've never been in a relationship my whole life, I've never even kissed a girl... Yes i know, pretty pathetic. I am also 100% sure i'm not homosexual.
I have so much love in my heart to give to someone that will only show some interest in me. I'm really not a bad person, i try to be good. i need help. Any advice would be much appreciated (i apologise for the sappy self indulgence, but i just felt i needed to get that off my chest)
And is there any guys out there that feel the same way as me?
Most men i know like to play the dominant role in their relationships with women but i don't find that appealling at all. I'm naturally a shy and quiet person, and whenever i see or speak to an attractive women i just want to get on my knees and worship their beauty. I think of women as so much more superior to men and in general i find them alot better people. I think i have problems. I've just never came across a female that enjoys being the dominant one in a relationship. It's so overwhelming sometimes i can't take it. I'm obsessed with women and their ways but i'm afraid i'll never have a healthy relationship with one. I've never been in a relationship my whole life, I've never even kissed a girl... Yes i know, pretty pathetic. I am also 100% sure i'm not homosexual.
I have so much love in my heart to give to someone that will only show some interest in me. I'm really not a bad person, i try to be good. i need help. Any advice would be much appreciated (i apologise for the sappy self indulgence, but i just felt i needed to get that off my chest)
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being submissive has nothing to do with sexuality or anything, some guys are naturally submissive, some are dominant. there's nothing to be ashamed about, it's just who you are. and yes there are girls out there who go for submissive guys, generally because they are dominant partners in a realtionship.
you shouldn't be ashamed at the fact, it's a common misconseption that being submissive is bad. its not. it's a part of life.
you shouldn't be ashamed at the fact, it's a common misconseption that being submissive is bad. its not. it's a part of life.
Firstly, no one likes a creep. If you see women as something to be idolised this is going to come across when you talk to them. Girls are people too, you know! They are perfectly normal, down to earth people, they just have different bits. If you put women on a pedastal you're never going to be able to reach them. To be honest, its pretty normal for someone with no experience with girls to be like this, but you've just got to re-set your view of women by talking to them as friends - ie try to walk before you shag.
So, in essence, be cool. Being a creep or being clingy is the most unattractive trait a guy can have (despite maybe chronic filthiness or murderous tendencies).
So, in essence, be cool. Being a creep or being clingy is the most unattractive trait a guy can have (despite maybe chronic filthiness or murderous tendencies).
I thought that the woman was usually the dominat one in a relationship. Maybe I'm just submissive too, oh well.
You don't need to worry about being submissive, there will be plenty of girls that go for that kind of thing, and anyway, its not as if she's going to find out that you are until things have gotten going (is gotten a word?).
It's really not a problem at all, dont worry about it.
You don't need to worry about being submissive, there will be plenty of girls that go for that kind of thing, and anyway, its not as if she's going to find out that you are until things have gotten going (is gotten a word?).
It's really not a problem at all, dont worry about it.
I wouldnt mind being the dominant one I guess. Its hard to say. I would just worry that people would see me and the other person as me being all harsh and bossy and arsey and the other as a push over and weak. I also definitely need someone who has their own opinions about things, and isnt scared to stand up for themselves when necessary.
To sum up, you will find someone who is exactly what you want and need, and who to them, you are the exact same! Its just important not to lose yourself while you're so busy worshipping all these goddesses!! : )
To sum up, you will find someone who is exactly what you want and need, and who to them, you are the exact same! Its just important not to lose yourself while you're so busy worshipping all these goddesses!! : )
You've got nothing to be ashamed of. You sound like a nice guy, and I'm sure a suitable woman will come along soon enough.
Would I be in a serious relationship with a submissive guy? Yes, I think I would. My first relationship was with a submissive guy. It was very short... but back then I was very shy about relationships, and needed someone to lead the way if you know what I mean. My current bf is dominant in some ways, but also sounds similar to you in others. I really don't want this relationship to ever end, but if it did I think I could be with a submissive guy. I still wouldn't see myself as a dominant person... but maybe you don't need a dominant woman, -just one who is confident enough to take the lead in the beginning, and then perhaps when you feel more comfortable with each other you'd have a more equal relationship?
Would I be in a serious relationship with a submissive guy? Yes, I think I would. My first relationship was with a submissive guy. It was very short... but back then I was very shy about relationships, and needed someone to lead the way if you know what I mean. My current bf is dominant in some ways, but also sounds similar to you in others. I really don't want this relationship to ever end, but if it did I think I could be with a submissive guy. I still wouldn't see myself as a dominant person... but maybe you don't need a dominant woman, -just one who is confident enough to take the lead in the beginning, and then perhaps when you feel more comfortable with each other you'd have a more equal relationship?
Thanks for the helpful advice guys. it means alot to me. I'd just like to say that be saying im a submissive it doesn't mean that i want to be a pushover and be bossed about. I'm sure it's more of a sexual thing. But i'm just so afraid of being really disappointed if i ever do engage in a relationship, and even worse, if i end up disappointing my partner.. I'm just trying to figure out a neutral balance.
As far as putting women on a pedestal, I'm just trying to be honest. It's honestly the way i feel. I look up to them alot and like i said before, I probably do have problems. I just really think that I NEED a half decent relationship right now. Every girl I've met my whole life has been so distant and cold towards me without knowing a thing about me which explains the way i am. I know in my head i'm not a creep or weirdo. I'm just obsessed with women
As far as putting women on a pedestal, I'm just trying to be honest. It's honestly the way i feel. I look up to them alot and like i said before, I probably do have problems. I just really think that I NEED a half decent relationship right now. Every girl I've met my whole life has been so distant and cold towards me without knowing a thing about me which explains the way i am. I know in my head i'm not a creep or weirdo. I'm just obsessed with women
comadeep
I'm just obsessed with women
Thats just natural for a men to be. But don't get too obessed, once you find/with a women don't become stalkerish!
I don't really know, I mean I'm a very sensitive, emotional giving person generally, which I personally feel is a good thing and I will pretty much let mates or a woman do anything they want as long as noone is harmed by their actions.
I think you need to have the right combination. Aye you just need to kinda make sure people no know where the line is because now a days if you don't tell noone they damned well cross and piss you off ^^
I have no clue if that was any help at all but just thought I would throw in my two cents ^^
I think you need to have the right combination. Aye you just need to kinda make sure people no know where the line is because now a days if you don't tell noone they damned well cross and piss you off ^^
I have no clue if that was any help at all but just thought I would throw in my two cents ^^
comadeep
I think of women as so much more superior to men and in general i find them alot better people.
comadeep
Every girl I've met my whole life has been so distant and cold towards me without knowing a thing about me
Why do you think of women as superior if they act like that towards you? Don't worry about "what happens if I disappoint my partner" etc. Or not so much that it puts you off starting a relationship. Just get some experience (I don't necessarily mean sexual experience by that) and I'm sure you'd start to feel more confident around/equal to, women.
comadeep
Thanks for the helpful advice guys. it means alot to me. I'd just like to say that be saying im a submissive it doesn't mean that i want to be a pushover and be bossed about. I'm sure it's more of a sexual thing. But i'm just so afraid of being really disappointed if i ever do engage in a relationship, and even worse, if i end up disappointing my partner.. I'm just trying to figure out a neutral balance.
As far as putting women on a pedestal, I'm just trying to be honest. It's honestly the way i feel. I look up to them alot and like i said before, I probably do have problems. I just really think that I NEED a half decent relationship right now. Every girl I've met my whole life has been so distant and cold towards me without knowing a thing about me which explains the way i am. I know in my head i'm not a creep or weirdo. I'm just obsessed with women
As far as putting women on a pedestal, I'm just trying to be honest. It's honestly the way i feel. I look up to them alot and like i said before, I probably do have problems. I just really think that I NEED a half decent relationship right now. Every girl I've met my whole life has been so distant and cold towards me without knowing a thing about me which explains the way i am. I know in my head i'm not a creep or weirdo. I'm just obsessed with women
To be honest, the sexual thing can be done in any relationship, its called role play. But, unless you stop worshipping the idea of a woman and start realising who they actually are, you won't get close to them in any meaningful way. If you act like you worship them, they WILL get scared off and will be distant - its a very creepy trait to have. So bottle up the obsession with women, be cool, and talk to women without idolising them and you may get a bit closer to getting the relationship you want.
From my point of view, i've found out that while I used to say I wanted a sensetive quiet type guy, i've found out that it's the last thing I want. I used to know a guy who I think is probably quite like you in a lot of ways, he was always telling me how beautiful I was etc, how clever I was, he'd never hear a negative word said against me, so I had to distance myself from him because I found being around him so uncomfortable. He was so tentative and so caring at the same time and it sounds odd but I just couldn't cope with it. He was a lovely guy but I just needed something to 'push' against and it wasn't there. In the end I actively set out to prove as clearly as I could that I wasn't perfect, probably went a bit too far because i'm a nice person really.
So i'd say definitely try and tone down the worshipping. The best 'relationships' i've had with guys are where we can just sit down and have a conversation and they're not tentative or nervous or telling me how wonderful I am constantly. There's one particular guy i'm thinking of who has never given me a direct compliment but uses other subtle ways to let me know he appreciates our friendship, and I think that's the best way to be.
Worshipping does have a place, but I think that place is in an established relationship. When you're trying to get to know a girl, I think subtle is best. Although not too subtle that she thinks you just want to be friends. No idea how you find the area between those two though
So i'd say definitely try and tone down the worshipping. The best 'relationships' i've had with guys are where we can just sit down and have a conversation and they're not tentative or nervous or telling me how wonderful I am constantly. There's one particular guy i'm thinking of who has never given me a direct compliment but uses other subtle ways to let me know he appreciates our friendship, and I think that's the best way to be.
Worshipping does have a place, but I think that place is in an established relationship. When you're trying to get to know a girl, I think subtle is best. Although not too subtle that she thinks you just want to be friends. No idea how you find the area between those two though
awww you are worrying about nothing! firstly, if you have never even kissed a girl, how do you know that you will always be submissive? Being a submissive is also a good thing. if you discover that you are. and by being a submissive actually attracts women to you! some women prefer the dominant role in a relationship, plus if you are really worried, there is even a chance of the roles reversing!
when im with my bf, i am the domainant one, but at times, such as when we are kissing he becomes dominant. and i do tell him i would like him to become more dominant and he takes note. you are a beginner dont expect to be perfect the first time
just dont find someone that will take advantage
when im with my bf, i am the domainant one, but at times, such as when we are kissing he becomes dominant. and i do tell him i would like him to become more dominant and he takes note. you are a beginner dont expect to be perfect the first time
just dont find someone that will take advantage
i don't want to seem as though i'm labelling you - maybe i am a little - but i've read about men like you. i think they're described as being 'shy' or something. lol i know that sounds like a sarcastic 'duh' type answer but i'm being serious. i have read an article on this where the men in question are shy in the extreme sense not just in the typical way we often use the word today
um anyway, moving on, there are many woman who luuurve being dominant in relationships. trust me.
um anyway, moving on, there are many woman who luuurve being dominant in relationships. trust me.
I've been in a relationship with a submissive guy. I loved it, the sex was fun, but in general he was more assertive and confident out of the bedroom...
I think it's not about that women want the man to be dominant, but just maybe not worshipping the idea of her sexuality.
I think it's not about that women want the man to be dominant, but just maybe not worshipping the idea of her sexuality.
Ironic_
From my point of view, i've found out that while I used to say I wanted a sensetive quiet type guy, i've found out that it's the last thing I want. I used to know a guy who I think is probably quite like you in a lot of ways, he was always telling me how beautiful I was etc, how clever I was, he'd never hear a negative word said against me, so I had to distance myself from him because I found being around him so uncomfortable. He was so tentative and so caring at the same time and it sounds odd but I just couldn't cope with it. He was a lovely guy but I just needed something to 'push' against and it wasn't there. In the end I actively set out to prove as clearly as I could that I wasn't perfect, probably went a bit too far because i'm a nice person really.
So i'd say definitely try and tone down the worshipping. The best 'relationships' i've had with guys are where we can just sit down and have a conversation and they're not tentative or nervous or telling me how wonderful I am constantly. There's one particular guy i'm thinking of who has never given me a direct compliment but uses other subtle ways to let me know he appreciates our friendship, and I think that's the best way to be.
Worshipping does have a place, but I think that place is in an established relationship. When you're trying to get to know a girl, I think subtle is best. Although not too subtle that she thinks you just want to be friends. No idea how you find the area between those two though
So i'd say definitely try and tone down the worshipping. The best 'relationships' i've had with guys are where we can just sit down and have a conversation and they're not tentative or nervous or telling me how wonderful I am constantly. There's one particular guy i'm thinking of who has never given me a direct compliment but uses other subtle ways to let me know he appreciates our friendship, and I think that's the best way to be.
Worshipping does have a place, but I think that place is in an established relationship. When you're trying to get to know a girl, I think subtle is best. Although not too subtle that she thinks you just want to be friends. No idea how you find the area between those two though
If only i could rep twice in a day. You seem to be the only girl who has actually realised what this guy's problem is and what he needs to do to fix it.
comadeep
Hello. This thread mainly applies to women, but guys can feel free to comment as much as they like... Well as you can most likely guess from the name of my thread, I am a submissive person and the more time passes, the more i become ashamed of it. I'm just wondering if any of you women would actually be in a serious relationship with a submissive guy?
And is there any guys out there that feel the same way as me?
Most men i know like to play the dominant role in their relationships with women but i don't find that appealling at all. I'm naturally a shy and quiet person, and whenever i see or speak to an attractive women i just want to get on my knees and worship their beauty. I think of women as so much more superior to men and in general i find them alot better people. I think i have problems. I've just never came across a female that enjoys being the dominant one in a relationship. It's so overwhelming sometimes i can't take it. I'm obsessed with women and their ways but i'm afraid i'll never have a healthy relationship with one. I've never been in a relationship my whole life, I've never even kissed a girl... Yes i know, pretty pathetic. I am also 100% sure i'm not homosexual.
I have so much love in my heart to give to someone that will only show some interest in me. I'm really not a bad person, i try to be good. i need help. Any advice would be much appreciated (i apologise for the sappy self indulgence, but i just felt i needed to get that off my chest)
And is there any guys out there that feel the same way as me?
Most men i know like to play the dominant role in their relationships with women but i don't find that appealling at all. I'm naturally a shy and quiet person, and whenever i see or speak to an attractive women i just want to get on my knees and worship their beauty. I think of women as so much more superior to men and in general i find them alot better people. I think i have problems. I've just never came across a female that enjoys being the dominant one in a relationship. It's so overwhelming sometimes i can't take it. I'm obsessed with women and their ways but i'm afraid i'll never have a healthy relationship with one. I've never been in a relationship my whole life, I've never even kissed a girl... Yes i know, pretty pathetic. I am also 100% sure i'm not homosexual.
I have so much love in my heart to give to someone that will only show some interest in me. I'm really not a bad person, i try to be good. i need help. Any advice would be much appreciated (i apologise for the sappy self indulgence, but i just felt i needed to get that off my chest)
Hi Comadeep
To me it seems like you are idealising women
I think a woman will enjoy to be adored by you- but after some time, it's getting boring. It is like eating cake everyday
You understand what I mean? Nice to hear that you obviously know a woman's worth and even more than that- but by doing this, don't forget your on worth, because this is what actually makes you interesting: your own profile. Do you really feel love for someone who you adore? I mean we all adore people who are above, kind of superior - and therefore dominant-to us: stars, successful or talented people, legends, ... . You adore them for the reason of their special feature: They are unreachable. But could you really imagine such a relationship? You are adoring her, and she always keeps on showing you the "cold shoulder" ? Don't you wish something that is more balanced?And again the question: Are you sure that you feel love for somebody you absolutely adore?
What happens when you recognise that the woman is also incomplete, imperfect and ordinary? I think you have two options then: Either you'll start to cry and take flight- or you'll feel love and meanwhile ready for your first relationship
Nothing wrong with you, don't worry- just don't forget your own worth
Wish you all the best
LoveEng
TBH I see the "woman-worshipping" as as much of a problem for women as the "woman-hating" man. You're both forcing women into stereotypes, but perhaps yours is only coming from inexperience and perhaps I should be softer on you. I think you need to be more realistic. Women can only be free of these stereotypes when people realise they can be just as good as men AND just as bad. Women are NOT "so much more superior to men" or "a lot better people." You're not helping, yourself or women - you're just asking to have your blindness to the truth exploited, and perhaps you'd deserve it, but I don't think I'm cruel enough to wish it upon you, simply because, as I said before, you seem quite naive. It seems like you're reacting against the "woman-hating" male stereotype, which seems quite normal and possibly admirable, but you don't need to go so far the other way. I hope this is just a natural step in your progression towards a realistic view of woman.
Also, this: "I've just never came across a female that enjoys being the dominant one in a relationship." A relationship isn't just about domination/submission; life isn't about binaries (yes, I'm ashamed of using the big cliche.) This attitude of opposing forces is an unhealthy one. Try and think of things as on more of a continuum.
Also, this: "I've just never came across a female that enjoys being the dominant one in a relationship." A relationship isn't just about domination/submission; life isn't about binaries (yes, I'm ashamed of using the big cliche.) This attitude of opposing forces is an unhealthy one. Try and think of things as on more of a continuum.
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