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I lied to my boyfriend and he wants to break up. What should I do to get him back? Watch

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    (Original post by chikane)
    You weren't even dating him then so I don't see why it should bother him what you did with someone else if you two weren't together at the time.

    Even if you lied (though I feel it doesn't concern him) he should understand as it's to do with your past. If you did something while you were together then he might find it hard to trust you I have been betrayed by people I thought were loyal and I just cut them out of my life as I felt our friendship couldn't go back to how it was before.

    Though I do think you can work through this.
    Idk about that, before I met my ex we texted a bit (we were sort of friends but not close) and things seemed pretty clear although neither of us were formally in a relationship, if I found out she shagged a guy a day before our first date or something i'd be a bit grated as well :lol:
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    You shouldn't have to convince somebody to take you back. A relationship should go ahead because both parties truly want it. Don't pursue someone who may not want you.
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    (Original post by whorace)
    Idk about that, before I met my ex we texted a bit (we were sort of friends but not close) and things seemed pretty clear although neither of us were formally in a relationship, if I found out she shagged a guy a day before our first date or something i'd be a bit grated as well :lol:
    That is understandable to be pissed off but would you break up with her over that?
    If op was flirting with her boyfriend back then and leading him on as well as doing things with someone else yes he has the right to be angry but as they weren't dating she was free to do what she wanted with someone else.
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    Take him somewhere quiet such as a cafe or a nice restaurant, admit to all your mistakes. And then tell him how you wish you could turn back time and realise how much he means to you! If you really have something for him, you will shed tears infront of him and he will realise you aren't playing games anymore. Words really don't mean much, it's your actions that prove to someone how much you love, care and like them.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I did something with another guy before we started going out even though we were talking to each other. He then found out and I repeatedly tried to hide it because I was so selfish and scared that he'll leave me. I really did and do care for him so much I know I've done something so horrible and disgusting. I need to do something to prove to him I do care and this will never happen because it really won't.

    Did you have sex or just fool around? And were you sober at the time?

    It does make a difference.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Did you have sex or just fool around? And were you sober at the time?

    It does make a difference.
    Just fooled around and I was really drunk pretty much completely out of it. But I don't think that's an excuse at all.
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    (Original post by chikane)
    You weren't even dating him then so I don't see why it should bother him what you did with someone else if you two weren't together at the time.

    Even if you lied (though I feel it doesn't concern him) he should understand as it's to do with your past. If you did something while you were together then he might find it hard to trust you I have been betrayed by people I thought were loyal and I just cut them out of my life as I felt our friendship couldn't go back to how it was before.

    Though I do think you can work through this.
    I agree with you completely, that's what I thought. I don't think he's like that because I lied.
    We're going to try work through this.
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    (Original post by Emily.97)
    You shouldn't have to convince somebody to take you back. A relationship should go ahead because both parties truly want it. Don't pursue someone who may not want you.
    I'm not convincing him to be with me at all... I don't think you understand what I meant. I'm trying to convince him that this will never happen again. I truly want to be with him and I think he really wants to as well.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Just fooled around and I was really drunk pretty much completely out of it. But I don't think that's an excuse at all.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I agree with you completely, that's what I thought. I don't think he's like that because I lied.
    We're going to try work through this.
    Were you and your bf just friends at the time before you fooled around?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I had been lying to my bf about some stuff related to my past (I never cheated on my current bf!) because I was a stupid, insecure coward. I recently confessed it to him. He's upset and wishes to break up. I realize my mistake and have apologized multiple times. What should I do to get him back?
    I can only suggest you don't get him back..
    You've told him your past and if he loves you he sould have understand you at the 1st stage.. If you love someone you both have to compromise for something at some point where you have to.. forgiveness should be there...
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    (Original post by chikane)
    Were you and your bf just friends at the time before you fooled around?
    We were flirting but he always told me he doesn't want a girlfriend.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We were flirting but he always told me he doesn't want a girlfriend.
    There is no reason such a thing should affect your relationship if you both love each other and want to be together.

    It wasn't that bad a thing that you did at all, you weren't an item yet and you didn't have full sex anyway.

    Yes you concealed it, you were economical with the truth, but you fessed up. He may be hurt, but that is a good thing, it shows he cares.

    My advice is to not be too apologetic now. Give him space, be loving, but leave him to come round.

    If he doesn't it wasn't the right relationship anyway, because couples can survive MUCH worse than this.

    Why did you admit the lie in the first place? If it was going to come out anyway, fair enough. Otherwise it is sometimes wiser to draw a veil. No human being wants or needs to know all there is to know about another. A degree of privacy is appropriate for everyone although the extent of the self concealed is individual. Some are much more open than others.

    Above all stop beating yourself up! You need to love yourself, to be at peace with yourself, the good and bad, if he is to love you too.

    Good luck!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Just fooled around and I was really drunk pretty much completely out of it. But I don't think that's an excuse at all.
    Were you single? I get the feeling there's more to this.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We were flirting but he always told me he doesn't want a girlfriend.
    Have you even told him that? you were free to do whatever you wanted and he should understand that this happened before you both were together. Just like the above poster said give him space and let him contact you in his own time.
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    (Original post by generallee)
    There is no reason such a thing should affect your relationship if you both love each other and want to be together.

    It wasn't that bad a thing that you did at all, you weren't an item yet and you didn't have full sex anyway.

    Yes you concealed it, you were economical with the truth, but you fessed up. He may be hurt, but that is a good thing, it shows he cares.

    My advice is to not be too apologetic now. Give him space, be loving, but leave him to come round.

    If he doesn't it wasn't the right relationship anyway, because couples can survive MUCH worse than this.

    Why did you admit the lie in the first place? If it was going to come out anyway, fair enough. Otherwise it is sometimes wiser to draw a veil. No human being wants or needs to know all there is to know about another. A degree of privacy is appropriate for everyone although the extent of the self concealed is individual. Some are much more open than others.

    Above all stop beating yourself up! You need to love yourself, to be at peace with yourself, the good and bad, if he is to love you too.

    Good luck!
    Thanks this is a great answer and yeah I had to admit to it as he found out though some of his friends.
    He says he wants to be with me but feels as though I have cheated on him and does't know what to do to get over it. I have no idea how I can help him either. Any suggestions?
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    (Original post by whorace)
    Were you single? I get the feeling there's more to this.
    Yes I was single.
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    Without trust, there can be no love.

    He needs time to see whether he can trust you or not. There's nothing you can really do.
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    say that they werent an item isnt exactly right

    you cant entertain one guy (your boyf when you were talking) while messing around with another.

    her boyfriend has every right to be angry
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    say that they werent an item isnt exactly right

    you cant entertain one guy (your boyf when you were talking) while messing around with another.

    her boyfriend has every right to be angry
    No he doesn't. They weren't together. Just "talking" doesn't equal a relationship. You can "talk" to as many people as you want and it's only when a mutual decision is made to become a couple that you need to stop "talking" to others. (Talking is in " " as the implication is that it was sexual, or romantic).

    Until they are officially in a mutually exclusive relationship they can do what they like with whoever they like. That's the point of a monogamous relationship; you then become the only one you "talk" to.
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    No he doesn't. They weren't together. Just "talking" doesn't equal a relationship. You can "talk" to as many people as you want and it's only when a mutual decision is made to become a couple that you need to stop "talking" to others. (Talking is in " " as the implication is that it was sexual, or romantic).

    Until they are officially in a mutually exclusive relationship they can do what they like with whoever they like. That's the point of a monogamous relationship; you then become the only one you "talk" to.
    I thought this as well.

    The partner had no intention of having a girlfriend, therefore at their time of chatting OP can talk to as many people or see as many people as they want before they make a decision on who's best for them.

    It would have been nice OP to let him know that you were chatting/seeing someone casually or whatever while you were talking, but honestly, I think a lack of communication between you both has resulted in it, it seemed you both really didn't know what you wanted before you got together, he has a right to be angry at the fact you didn't say, but you didn't cheat cause you weren't even together at this point.
 
 
 
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