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Can a guy and a girl truly be just friends? Watch

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    Yeah they can, you can find your opposite sex friends attractive without it being a barrier to friendship.

    What is a barrier is if one party fancies the other to the extent that it causes feelings of jealousy, bitterness etc, and the feelings aren't returned. In that case its usually not a friendship its either that party hanging around secretly hoping for more (when it won't happen) or hanging around having accepted nothing will happen, but still doing it anyway because they have become dependent on the contact from that person.

    I think its a real issue for some guys who are just not very good at forming real relationships, when they get a close female friend then effectively that friend fills that gap in their life, ok they aren't having sex but they are getting a girl to talk to a lot and to share their feelings with and then if that girl gets a boyfriend it will feel like a break up to the guy.

    These kinds of 'friendships' aren't healthy and will cause problems.

    However in general opposite sex friendships are healthy and good and I have much more meaningful chats with my female friends than male friends and find I can talk to them more naturally about some things when I'd feel awkward with other guys. I find most of them attractive and if they are dressed sexily or whatever I notice but it doesn't change things.

    There are also opposite sex friendships that have the potential for more, and sometimes this develops, sometimes it doesn't, it just depends on circumstance. For there to be the potential for more there needs to have been some mutual chemistry at the start, and this can happen when one or both partners are in a relationship with someone else. At a later point circumstances can change.

    But I think there are some friendships that always simmer around at a level higher than usual friendship, there's an underlying tension there. Sometimes these can be volatile and have a lot of arguments mixed it with a lot of times when you get on incredibly well together. Again whether you get together will come down to a lot of other factors but you can always tell it's not a normal friendship.
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    (Original post by gertautas)
    Nah you always wanna smash her
    Yep^
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    wish it did, I thought it did until I found out one of my closest male friends had caught the feels for me, our friendship sucked for ages after that.
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    Have you been sexually attracted to every person you have ever met? And has every person you have ever met been sexually attracted to you?

    The obvious answer is no, therefore the possibility that you can just be friends is very obviously there.
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    Ok but here's another juicy question...

    Would you let you partner have a best friend of the opposite sex? (Or I guess same sex if you're gay... I don't even know how to rephrase this for trangenders?)
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    if one is totally ****ing ugly yea
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    (Original post by LVRG)
    Ok but here's another juicy question...

    Would you let you partner have a best friend of the opposite sex? (Or I guess same sex if you're gay... I don't even know how to rephrase this for trangenders?)
    ****kkk no

    If they decide to have one any way, then I know that either they don't take the relationship seriously, value them over me or are just naive as ****
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    (Original post by mkap)
    its my fave oldish bollywood film...get ready to cry haha
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    (Original post by UWS)
    Without either person catching feelings at any point in time?

    Read up on this discussion the other day and it was very interesting.

    I think it is possible but I also think that the closer a guy and a girl get in terms of a friendship, the more likely one of them will start to catch feelings. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have at least a slight crush on any of my close female friends...
    Yes, Leonardo and Kate winslet
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    (Original post by espicton98)
    wish it did, I thought it did until I found out one of my closest male friends had caught the feels for me, our friendship sucked for ages after that.
    How did you find out? Did he tell you directly?
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    (Original post by donutellme)
    ****kkk no

    If they decide to have one any way, then I know that either they don't take the relationship seriously, value them over me or are just naive as ****
    I agree actually... some might say this is an insecurity thing, what would you say to that?
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    (Original post by LVRG)
    I agree actually... some might say this is an insecurity thing, what would you say to that?
    Is it insecure to consider risks?

    There's 2 parts to it. Security and appropriateness.

    If there aren't any guys/girls in there (close) social circle, then the chance of unfaithfulness or jealousy drastically decreases.

    In a committed relationship (marriage, engagement, very serious relationships, etc), I really don't consider it appropriate to have close friends of the opposite sex. Partly for the reason above, but there are even more reasons than that. A man shouldn't be providing for anyone other than their significant other, nor should a woman be entertaining anyone else.

    You may call me old fashioned, which would be fair, but this works.

    Before anyone calls me a draconian dictator who should go to hell because I'm Hitler: I would never force anyone to give up their friends. I would only be with someone who does it because it's right, because they choose to, for similar reasons.

    PS: by friends I'm referring to CLOSE friends. People you'd regularly talk to or hang out with and stuff. Distant friends you talk to when you see them are both unpreventable and understandable.
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    (Original post by LVRG)
    Ok but here's another juicy question...

    Would you let you partner have a best friend of the opposite sex? (Or I guess same sex if you're gay... I don't even know how to rephrase this for trangenders?)
    Yes? If they made me choose between my friends and my partner, they are obviously not the sort of person I want to be with.

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    (Original post by UWS)
    How did you find out? Did he tell you directly?
    not at first, his friends all told me and it kind of became common knowledge, then he decided to tell me after I had had too much too drunk so my response wasn't very sensitive
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    I used to think so... But almost all my male friends, even the ones I thought were definitely 'just friends', have tried it on at some point. I think in most cases boys aren't satisfied with just being friends with a girl, they'll almost always want to sleep with you.
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    I've been in the situation where I've had to end a friendship because he wanted more, I didn't and the whole thing was just difficult for me.

    Most of my friends are male and it's rare for me to actually be attracted to them.
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    No. Most guys secretly want to **** the girl.
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    TaintedLight will welcome any sexual advances from his female acquaintances as long as they make the first move 🗿

    Disclaimer: none of my lady friends are heavy in the kgs or stinky or sick in the head.
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    (Original post by UWS)
    Without either person catching feelings at any point in time?

    Read up on this discussion the other day and it was very interesting.

    I think it is possible but I also think that the closer a guy and a girl get in terms of a friendship, the more likely one of them will start to catch feelings. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have at least a slight crush on any of my close female friends...
    Only if the girls BMI is over 28.
 
 
 
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