Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

boyfriend not allowed to sleep over Watch

    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    "Can't own my sexuality"

    You need new friends
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Your 18 and an adult but it's still a new relationship, let your parents meet him a few more times and once it's more long term they might be more accepting. And tbh, does it really matter if he can stay in your room or not?
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    it's their house, so their rules, no matter how "antiquated" it may feel.
    just as you don't like the image of your parents "doing it' despite it being obvious that they have sex, they pretend to themselves that you're still their child.

    I have stayed at a girlfriend's parents house, and used a separate bedroom despite her Mum knowing full well that I'd say over at the g/f's ( rented) house in term time.

    A couple that I know met at the age of maybe 17, started going out, went off to different unis, while at uni shared a house between the unis, came back and moved in to a rented house, then bought a house.

    all that time, the girl's parents never visited the homes even for a cup of tea.
    Eventually they got married and within 2 weeks, the bride's mother was over fussing about what a nice home it was.

    People have rules, and you can't change their moral values no matter how weird it seems to you. At least they care.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I would also be wanting sexual pleasure but we manage that anyway. Im an old romantic, i want to wake up in the arms of the man i love








    For those asking I'm 18

    Well I am 20... and my girlfriend is 21. My parents do not agree with it at all.. that's why why I moved out of my house to university (even though the uni is a 30 min drive away, so that I can live with my gf)

    Do what I did... Get your sexual preferences before bed... then split into your own rooms! ahahahha
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Stupid room. Parents need to realise the longer you distrust and treat your children like little kids the more likely they are to resent you and less likely they are to ask when they need help after a mistake.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by whorace)
    Banging a girl while her parents are in the other room is quite the fantasy
    Already do that, i want to snooze together after
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Do they know you are already sleeping with him? I would say they just don't like the thought of it and probably still think of you as their little girl just wait till you are older.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by karl pilkington)
    Do they know you are already sleeping with him? I would say they just don't like the thought of it and probably still think of you as their little girl just wait till you are older.
    yeah they know, I told my mum and my dad must've figured out by now. They probably just like to pretend it doesn't happen. They keep saying how their parents would never let them share a room before they were engaged but i'm not sure that's an excuse
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    when I was at uni my dad said me and my boyfriend could come and stay but in separate rooms, at that point I was a bit like what the hell, we live together? but it was still his house and his rules... I think your parents are well within their rights and 6 months is not that long anyway!
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    my boyfriend and i have been together for 6 months and my parents won't let him stay in my room. Obviously I really want him to but I can't tell if my parents are right to not let him. Some of my friends say they're being archaic and they can't own my sexuality ect whilst others say it's fair enough in their house.

    Who is right?
    As you can tell by all the other posts, this isn't uncommon. Same with me.
    Even if you are over 18, it's their house.

    Get your own place and live by your own rules if you prefer.
    • #3
    #3

    Try being Asian LOL! You'd see him once every six months (if even that)
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Conzy210)
    Stupid room. Parents need to realise the longer you distrust and treat your children like little kids the more likely they are to resent you and less likely they are to ask when they need help after a mistake.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Have you any idea how immature and childish you come across as?
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by DougallnDougall)
    Have you any idea how immature and childish you come across as?
    When you're 18 you're going to have sex, regardless of whether you can over at each other's house. If you're not allowed to have sex in your house, you'll have sex elsewhere. That could be anywhere from your car to a park, it's going to happen.

    My parents always let me do what I wanted once I reached 18, and I was always safer and more mature because of it. You see people at uni all the time who were pretty much kept on a leash at home, then once they get to uni they go nuts. It's pretty much always those people who were treat like kids even at 18 who end up drinking too much, shagging too much and just generally going off the rails in first year.

    Trust and respect from your parents is vital.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    my boyfriend and i have been together for 6 months and my parents won't let him stay in my room. Obviously I really want him to but I can't tell if my parents are right to not let him. Some of my friends say they're being archaic and they can't own my sexuality ect whilst others say it's fair enough in their house.

    Who is right?
    Your parents are the ones right here. It's their house, their rules. If you want to be with your boyfriend, then you need to move out of the hous.
    Offline

    1
    Your parents don't want you to make a PH amateur skit which is understandable.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Conzy210)
    When you're 18 you're going to have sex, regardless of whether you can over at each other's house. If you're not allowed to have sex in your house, you'll have sex elsewhere. That could be anywhere from your car to a park, it's going to happen.

    My parents always let me do what I wanted once I reached 18, and I was always safer and more mature because of it. You see people at uni all the time who were pretty much kept on a leash at home, then once they get to uni they go nuts. It's pretty much always those people who were treat like kids even at 18 who end up drinking too much, shagging too much and just generally going off the rails in first year.

    Trust and respect from your parents is vital.
    Lol. This is why the world is going crazy. Kids thinking that theyre the boss.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by donutellme)
    Lol. This is why the world is going crazy. Kids thinking that theyre the boss.
    You're not a 'kid' at 18 you're an adult.

    At 18 you can do whatever you want legally. Acting like 18 year olds are still kids is just going to lead to serious resentment and she's still going to have sex with her boyfriend, so it achieves nothing other than meaning she will have sex in riskier places than the safety of her own home.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Conzy210)
    she's still going to have sex with her boyfriend, so it achieves nothing other than meaning she will have sex in riskier places than the safety of her own home.
    Posted from TSR Mobile
    She's told her parents that she has sex with her boyfriend, and they do it in the house with the parents in the other room (see OP's follow up posts). The issue is that she's not allowed to sleep (as in physically sleep, like at night) with him. Nothing to do with having risky sex, as the parents know they have sex.

    It's a bizarre rule to say that they aren't allowed to be asleep next to each other, but it's her parents' house so she needs to accept their rules or move out. Just becaus your parents let you do what you want, doesn't mean everyone's parents will.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    Whilst I may not agree with the rule, like almost everyone else has said its their house, their rules
    My parents rarely allowed my boyfriend to stay over before the age of 18, but when I turned 18 and started paying digs/rent they dropped the rules.
    You're just going to have to respect their rules, you won't be able to change their minds over night I'm afraid.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Conzy210)
    When you're 18 you're going to have sex, regardless of whether you can over at each other's house. If you're not allowed to have sex in your house, you'll have sex elsewhere. That could be anywhere from your car to a park, it's going to happen.

    My parents always let me do what I wanted once I reached 18, and I was always safer and more mature because of it. You see people at uni all the time who were pretty much kept on a leash at home, then once they get to uni they go nuts. It's pretty much always those people who were treat like kids even at 18 who end up drinking too much, shagging too much and just generally going off the rails in first year.

    Trust and respect from your parents is vital.

    In your universe perhaps but certainly not in mine. I'm not kept on a leash anything but, however I have a great deal of self respect and most certainly am not nor will I ever be a notch on someone's bedpost.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 5, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Brussels sprouts
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.