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When did being in love cause you the most pain? Watch

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    #1

    I'm feeling pretty lost right now due to the pain of love and loss.

    It reminds me acutely of when my first proper time of falling in love ended.

    This is what that person said to me afterwards:

    ********* you're the unicorn that you see once in a life time. You're beautiful, endearing, funny, intelligent, and you have great eyes, perfect hair and a great smile. That is all on the outside. To your friends. Then to me you've opened up and shown me one of the best people I've ever met, and managed to briefly reawaken the happiness that I used to feel. During the days we’ve spent together I didn't spend a single moment unhappy and felt as alien to how I feel now as possible. I'm just too broken an adult with not enough function for anything permanent or intense. The only creature I can deal with on a long term basis right now is my dog because his feelings are so simple. If you weren't as complex and amazing as you are it might have lasted longer, but would never have happened in the first place. The stars that burn brightest shine shortest and if I live it will be in the fading light of these past few weeks. Until I have hope again how can I be a human being?, if I am not a human being how can I live looking like one and pretending to be one?. Just by your effect on me I know you are one of the best people I've ever met and are thus out of my league. When you find someone who isn't a broken shell of a man, like the last dinosaur walking alone across a barren desert, forever forlorn and doomed to loneliness, you will find happiness. Until then because you're so amazing you're going to have to settle for people who don't deserve you.
    This was definitely the thing that has hurt me the most in my life. This message in particular just completely shattered my heart into tiny pieces- especially the realisation that it wasn’t anything I lacked or did wrong- it just wasn’t going to happen. The feeling of not being able to do anything to save it was the worst.

    When did you get broken, and how did you deal with it to recover and be yourself again? Music is normally the one thing that helps me significantly, and of course, time.
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    When my ex told me I was a waste of time/money/love.
    I eventually just got over it.
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    When I ate an entire, big bag of minstrels in like 10 minutes. I love them so much, but the stomach ache.........:puke:
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    when he's clearly finding it easy to move on (regularly posting pictures of him at clubs, snapchatting with other girls etc.) and here i am struggling to go five minutes w/o thinking about him.





    hah
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    (Original post by TheReckless)
    when he's clearly finding it easy to move on (regularly posting pictures of him at clubs, snapchatting with other girls etc.) and here i am struggling to go five minutes w/o thinking about him.





    hah
    You never snapchat yourself taking a dump. Social media presents a clean image which hides all the dirty business.
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    I've deleted snapchat I literally think it's a piece of ****, lol
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    (Original post by whorace)
    You never snapchat yourself taking a dump. Social media presents a clean image which hides all the dirty business.
    I know this. still ****ing hurts tho
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    (Original post by Tom78)
    I've deleted snapchat I literally think it's a piece of ****, lol
    I must admit there are one too many snapchats out there with me dead on a couch drunk like I just stabbed a homeless guy and my life is over
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm feeling pretty lost right now due to the pain of love and loss.

    It reminds me acutely of when my first proper time of falling in love ended.

    This is what that person said to me afterwards:



    This was definitely the thing that has hurt me the most in my life. This message in particular just completely shattered my heart into tiny pieces- especially the realisation that it wasn’t anything I lacked or did wrong- it just wasn’t going to happen. The feeling of not being able to do anything to save it was the worst.

    When did you get broken, and how did you deal with it to recover and be yourself again? Music is normally the one thing that helps me significantly, and of course, time.
    Oh, wow! I'm sorry that you felt this way. *big hugs* <3

    Well, I was in a relationship with the first person I ever fell madly in love with and we dated for over a year, however things began falling apart. I could tell the interest was decreasing and it shattered me on a day to day basis as I only ever wanted to be good enough and for everything to be back to the way it was. We broke up without a valid reason, really. I couldn't eat or sleep for days on end because I truly saw a future together and I was so head over heels that I had managed to convince myself that there was nobody else for me so you can imagine how *****y it felt when we broke up lol. I was hit with a bunch of false cheating allegations by said person - which hurt A LOT! I had things written about me on social media.. only to find out a few months later that I had in fact been the one who had been cheated on! To make it worse - I found out about the cheating on tumblr :unimpressed: yo, it was not even subtle as there were posts written during the dates we were together. the posts consisted of my then partner expressing love/infatuation towards somebody in their workplace! It hurt to read. Fast forward a few more months, and I began to move on and I have never looked back or been happier! How did I recover ? well, I *admittedly* made a list of the terrible things that my ex did to me and soon I just began to resent. I went out and did things to keep my mind occupied, deleted anything related to my ex, and just started to focus on myself.
    You'll get there, it may take a while, but you will. x
    • #2
    #2

    Right now. I just feel empty and it's seriously ****.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Right now. I just feel empty and it's seriously ****.
    Really? This is the worst pain that love has ever brought you?

    I'm the same rn. But I don't know how to make it any better.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Really? This is the worst pain that love has ever brought you?

    I'm the same rn. But I don't know how to make it any better.
    It is, I genuinely wanted it to work. It's not even like we hate each other, so I don't even want to lose contact.
    It's so ****ed.
    • #3
    #3

    worst for me was when she LEFT FOR NO REASON >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>

    then saw me irl after like a year and didn't respond to me and walked away



    toooooooooooooo sick
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    worst for me was when she LEFT FOR NO REASON >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>

    then saw me irl after like a year and didn't respond to me and walked away



    toooooooooooooo sick
    Ah man that's horrible. :hugs:

    How do you deal with the pain? I hate being ignored more than Hated tbh. Nonchalance hurts the most.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm feeling pretty lost right now due to the pain of love and loss.

    It reminds me acutely of when my first proper time of falling in love ended.

    This is what that person said to me afterwards:



    This was definitely the thing that has hurt me the most in my life. This message in particular just completely shattered my heart into tiny pieces- especially the realisation that it wasn’t anything I lacked or did wrong- it just wasn’t going to happen. The feeling of not being able to do anything to save it was the worst.

    When did you get broken, and how did you deal with it to recover and be yourself again? Music is normally the one thing that helps me significantly, and of course, time.
    Wow that message is so sweet and dramatic! I don't understand why he was so in love with you but couldn't be in the relationship? So you said it reminds you of when your first love ended, is that message from this time it someone else you're feeling heartbroken over?

    It's always a little embarrassing and weird when I tell people but I had a two and half month fling which came to an abrupt halt and I've never quite got over it fully, even now. It was 6 years ago! It was just very intense for me but I messed it up by being young, playing games. Plus I was pretty much a rebound for him. In hindsight it was probably a recipe for disaster. The timing anyway. And he actually seems a bit of a prick. It does still hurt sometimes now because of how amazing I felt in that short time and never being able to go back.

    It's hard to say how to deal with it because I always struggle to let things go. I guess just trying to get on with each day and eventually you just develop some sort of routine despite the pain. Music does help, I agree with you there! But I couldn't bear happy songs, it had to be sad, depressing ones that related to my situation.
    But time does definitely help as I have moved on with my life and have something much more serious and long lasting with a boyfriend who really loves me, would fight to keep me and actually knows me.


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    • #4
    #4

    I've never even been in a relationship...

    So one could say my only pain is having so much love, attention and time to give but no one to give it to. :getmecoat:
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    (Original post by tinkerbelle2)
    Wow that message is so sweet and dramatic! I don't understand why he was so in love with you but couldn't be in the relationship? So you said it reminds you of when your first love ended, is that message from this time it someone else you're feeling heartbroken over?

    It's always a little embarrassing and weird when I tell people but I had a two and half month fling which came to an abrupt halt and I've never quite got over it fully, even now. It was 6 years ago! It was just very intense for me but I messed it up by being young, playing games. Plus I was pretty much a rebound for him. In hindsight it was probably a recipe for disaster. The timing anyway. And he actually seems a bit of a prick. It does still hurt sometimes now because of how amazing I felt in that short time and never being able to go back.

    It's hard to say how to deal with it because I always struggle to let things go. I guess just trying to get on with each day and eventually you just develop some sort of routine despite the pain. Music does help, I agree with you there! But I couldn't bear happy songs, it had to be sad, depressing ones that related to my situation.
    But time does definitely help as I have moved on with my life and have something much more serious and long lasting with a boyfriend who really loves me, would fight to keep me and actually knows me.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I know, well we were in a relationship for like three weeks. It was actually insanely intense. We met in a lecture randomly- he added me on FB and then messaged me saying that I looked beautiful today- we continued to message for the rest of the lecture and both of us got told off at the end because apparently it was super obvious what was going on from the glances at each other and the obvious lack of concentration. We then just stayed together after the lecture- it was sunny and we spent the afternoon in a park just talking and kissing and it was literally like a movie scene love story.

    I didn’t realise this at the time but quite soon into things it turned out that preceding this moment in the lecture he had been incredibly depressed- to the point where he had written his suicide notes. We had exams coming up and there was a lot of pressure on and he was going a bit insane from everything. The relationship pulled him out of the mindset and honestly we didn’t stay apart for pretty much the entire time (as in straight from that lecture…. How ridiculous!). He had even stayed at mine the night we met, I had given him keys and met him back at my place later. None of the funny business happened or anything but honestly it was just so instant and like we had known each other for ever.

    Over the three weeks he gradually got better and then I think he associated me as part of his depression or reminding him of how he had felt- even though ironically I was the one who ‘saved’ him.

    I completely get what you mean re the short fling you had and never getting over it. I would say I am over this person but he affected me hugely for a long period of time, and made it very difficult for me to open up again like that. Infact this current time is the one time I let my guard down like this for someone again, and it’s just that feeling of meeting someone you feel this huge connection with that’s impossible to explain. But yet again there is a problem with the permanence and the relative intensity. I think my issue is, from these two times I have felt like this- is that I get very intense because I feel so deeply that this is the kind of ‘love’ I need.

    Thank you for sharing your experience- it makes me feel like there are other people out there who understand me. I might PM you as well if that’s okay? (Obv I’m anon right now so I’m hiding :hide
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've never even been in a relationship...

    So one could say my only pain is having so much love, attention and time to give but no one to give it to. :getmecoat:
    You don't have to had a relationship to feel the pain of love... unrequited love is probably the worst, whether it's outside of a relationship or after the breakdown.
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    It's crazy that it's always the first thing that comes to my mind every morning without fail. It's sad but nothing lasts forever anyway... Someone said to me "This is the first day of the rest of your life". So I better make it count! Once you know your own worth you'll realise how little comfort/help/love you actually need from other people. The only person that's going to stay with you till you're dead is yourself. Other people will come and go.
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    The worst time was falling in love with someone who didn't feel the same way. We dated for several months but for him it was a casual/sex and hang out thing. For me it had been the most strongly I had ever felt towards someone, and in the end I realised it wasn't going anywhere long term. It took me 6+ months to get over because it hurt so much. I still feel the same towards him now but we don't talk and he has a girlfriend. I don't think I had gotten over splitting up with an ex previously to this guy either so I had a lot to deal with.
    Sometimes you will always love a person, no matter how much its hurt.
 
 
 
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