I don't think any one can tell you whether this is a good idea or not. How long have you been together? Do you think you'll still be together by the time you go to uni? Another year and a half? How old are you now? You may be more interested in halls by the time you go to uni. Uni was an absolute blast for me, and while I was eager to move on after a year, I wouldn't change going to halls for anything. You'll find it a lot harder to socialise and make friends if you don't go into halls. I was with my girlfriend for two years, and had known her for three, by the time we moved in together.
Ultimately it's too early to know what you want to do right now. You need to look at your options nearer the time to really know what you need to do.
Ultimately it's too early to know what you want to do right now. You need to look at your options nearer the time to really know what you need to do.
It's down to you two as a couple whether its a good idea or not really.
Original post by beccaherron
I'm not going to uni until 2017 so I have a while to decide, my boyfriend is a year older than me and Is not going to university. I don't like the idea of living in halls at all as I can't stand other peoples mess and being woke up by drunken flatmates as I am not that into going on nights out either. Whether I had a boyfriend or was single I have no interest in living in halls. I plan to move to uni and my boyfriend move with me and et a flat together. He is self employed so will be working while I attend uni. Please give me some advice if this is a good idea or not?
Thanks, I know I have plenty of time that's why I'm asking now it's just a thought
I don't think I want to live in halls at all, I share a kitchen in the common room at sixth form and I get annoyed enough at the mess left there haha
I don't think I want to live in halls at all, I share a kitchen in the common room at sixth form and I get annoyed enough at the mess left there hahaOriginal post by Nuffles
I don't think any one can tell you whether this is a good idea or not. How long have you been together? Do you think you'll still be together by the time you go to uni? Another year and a half? How old are you now? You may be more interested in halls by the time you go to uni. Uni was an absolute blast for me, and while I was eager to move on after a year, I wouldn't change going to halls for anything. You'll find it a lot harder to socialise and make friends if you don't go into halls. I was with my girlfriend for two years, and had known her for three, by the time we moved in together.
Ultimately it's too early to know what you want to do right now. You need to look at your options nearer the time to really know what you need to do.
Ultimately it's too early to know what you want to do right now. You need to look at your options nearer the time to really know what you need to do.
We have been together a year, but practically live together already anyway, I was supposed to go to uni this September but I've stayed on at sixth form an extra year to do an extra subject. I'm quite a sociable person and can make friends pretty easily so I think it will be okay not living in halls as I really hate the idea and don't think I'll change my mind, thanks for your advice
Original post by whorace
Sounds like a splendid idea my dear
Thank you
Original post by beccaherron
I'm not going to uni until 2017 so I have a while to decide, my boyfriend is a year older than me and Is not going to university. I don't like the idea of living in halls at all as I can't stand other peoples mess and being woke up by drunken flatmates as I am not that into going on nights out either. Whether I had a boyfriend or was single I have no interest in living in halls. I plan to move to uni and my boyfriend move with me and et a flat together. He is self employed so will be working while I attend uni. Please give me some advice if this is a good idea or not?
If you are already comfortable with your boyfriend, I think there will be no problems. Living together will teach you a lot of lesson about the other person. I think its okay, its part of the learning process in your relationship.
One of my best friends at uni does this - it seems to work really well for them, although it has meant that she hasn't been as sociable as she might otherwise have been. This doesn't seem like a big problem for her though so I think if you both decide it'd be a good idea then go for it!
I guess you have to weigh up the pros and cons. When I went to uni, I was extremely anxious about staying in halls and found it quite tricky to socialise with people. However, after the whole experience, although it was hard at times, it gave me a complete new set of social skills and really prepared me for the real world of work (where you will have to socialise with people, and some people can be especially difficult!).
Anyway, here's some pros and cons.
Pros: 1) You know your boyfriend, you obviously get along. Moving in together is a big step which could strengthen your relationship and make you closer as a couple. 2) You won't be woken up in the middle of the night by loud flatmates/hallmates, or fire alarms (happened in my halls twice a week). 3) You will probably save money living together from buying groceries together, splitting bills, and both be thoughtful of switching off lights/appliances to save costs. 4) You'll have your own space, which means friends or family from home can come visit and stay with you.
Cons: 1) Missing out on making friends in halls, missing out on hall parties, could be a little bit isolating (I don't think I would have made anywhere near as many friends if I had moved in with my boyfriend). 2) Friends/classmates aren't nearby for help with coursework (or for a quick gossip). 3) If you and your boyfriend break up, it could be very awkward (hopefully won't happen, but you can never predict these things!). 4) Halls are expensive, but moving into a new flat can be pricey as well. Need to buy lots of new gear such as bed linen, kitchen appliances, TV, clothes horse, storages (sounds little but it adds up!).
To sum: I think it depends on you. I know you say that you're not bothered with going out, and don't want people to be loud/drunk/disruptive, but halls is an experience, and it's one that I am so glad I had. However, I would never repeat it. It really is a once only type of thing. You will get woken up by noisy drunks or people setting off the fire alarm, but it gives you something to talk about with friends. It all makes life more interesting, though it can be annoying. You'll live with people who will light up your day, make you laugh, and change you as a person. You'll also meet people who are absolute lunatics, but once you learn how to deal with these people and recognise their type, you'll know how to avoid them in future.
It's all life skills. Skills that will come in very important later in life.
Anyway, here's some pros and cons.
Pros: 1) You know your boyfriend, you obviously get along. Moving in together is a big step which could strengthen your relationship and make you closer as a couple. 2) You won't be woken up in the middle of the night by loud flatmates/hallmates, or fire alarms (happened in my halls twice a week). 3) You will probably save money living together from buying groceries together, splitting bills, and both be thoughtful of switching off lights/appliances to save costs. 4) You'll have your own space, which means friends or family from home can come visit and stay with you.
Cons: 1) Missing out on making friends in halls, missing out on hall parties, could be a little bit isolating (I don't think I would have made anywhere near as many friends if I had moved in with my boyfriend). 2) Friends/classmates aren't nearby for help with coursework (or for a quick gossip). 3) If you and your boyfriend break up, it could be very awkward (hopefully won't happen, but you can never predict these things!). 4) Halls are expensive, but moving into a new flat can be pricey as well. Need to buy lots of new gear such as bed linen, kitchen appliances, TV, clothes horse, storages (sounds little but it adds up!).
To sum: I think it depends on you. I know you say that you're not bothered with going out, and don't want people to be loud/drunk/disruptive, but halls is an experience, and it's one that I am so glad I had. However, I would never repeat it. It really is a once only type of thing. You will get woken up by noisy drunks or people setting off the fire alarm, but it gives you something to talk about with friends. It all makes life more interesting, though it can be annoying. You'll live with people who will light up your day, make you laugh, and change you as a person. You'll also meet people who are absolute lunatics, but once you learn how to deal with these people and recognise their type, you'll know how to avoid them in future.
It's all life skills. Skills that will come in very important later in life.
Original post by beccaherron
We have been together a year, but practically live together already anyway, I was supposed to go to uni this September but I've stayed on at sixth form an extra year to do an extra subject. I'm quite a sociable person and can make friends pretty easily so I think it will be okay not living in halls as I really hate the idea and don't think I'll change my mind, thanks for your advice
One of my personal rules is not to make any relationship plans any further into the future than the current length of my relationship. I'm a commitmentphobe though.
Something to bear in mind is that "practically living together" is not the same thing as "living together". Moving in together removes your ability to simply go back to your own place if you want some space or you-time whenever you feel like it.
In second year I moved in with some people who all went straight into a house in first year. They didn't really socialise outside of the house. I went in with loads of friends from halls and we all ended up becoming a big friend group, but it the difference in people who went to halls and those who didn't was painfully obvious in their resulting social groups and circles.
Still, IMO it's too early to be worrying about this now. See how you feel in another years time. If you still wanna move in then great! But doubling the amount of relationship time you can introspect on massively improves your ability to make future decisions.
(edited 8 years ago)
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Living in halls with a select amount of people.
- Student living with Non Student
- Can my flatmate ban my boyfriend from my bedroom?
- Flatmate's boyfriend
- Looking for a Studio starting Septemeber in Liverpool
- Tired of never being anyone’s first choice
- tenancy + boyfriend
- Sisters lies - am i in the wrong?
- Tenancy Take Over
- renting
- University tenancy- what does this mean?
- Should I break up with my boyfriend?
- Washing debate - how long
- Awful first year experience and horrible flatmates!
- Is moving back in with parents a good option?
- My boyfriend won't move into the property I buy!?
- Is it bad to not want to see my brother as often?
- Ernst Chain accommodation, Manor Park
- Going back to uni after the Christmas holidays
- Will I ever get on the housing market?
Latest
Trending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 4 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 4 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
