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    So I'm 16, live in the UK, doing my GCSEs supposed to be going to school but I rarely do. I have suffered with severe OCD, anxiety and depression for years, basically since I was like 6 or 7. I've never really been happy with life, for most of my childhood I had episodes of wanting to be dead. I was never abused or anything, I just hate life so much, I don't really want to be alive but I'm too much of a coward to kill myself. I've been under the mental health service for 3 years now. I've been in an anxiety group & a psych unit, seen a school counsellor, 2 therapists, 3 psychiatrists, i've OD'd, i'm on anti depressant & anti psychotic medication & missed a total of like nearly 2 years of school. I started a new school (because of bullys) May this year. My options are History, Art & obvs English, Maths & double Science, I dropped history (failing it completely). English is going wellish, I'm on target for an A/A* in eng Lang , Maths i'm on target for a c if I'm lucky, Science I'm ok at and enjoy but I'm behind on coursework because it has to be monitored while I do it and I barely attend school, my teacher says "you don't have a chance in hell" of getting double but I might get a single grade. In art my teacher said "Make lots of art, send it off & see what happens" as I wouldn't be able to do all the stuff the others have in the final 2 months & they grade you mainly on how you show development of ideas. I'm down to 4 gcses. I'm only at school like 2 days a week as most of the time I am too fatigued to get up and I have no real reason to get up and go to school (I mean I do but I feel like I don't) I thought I wanted to be a doctor but that's not going to happen, I don't really want to do A levels or college (once again I do but I have no motivation). I haven't been to school in a week now and I really don't want to go back. I want to hide in a corner and never come out. I cry all the time, just continuous silent tears. I've spoken to careers advisor and teachers and parents but I just do not want to get out of bed and face the day, I HATE sunlight so much, it makes me feel sick. I don't sleep till 4 am and my lack of attendance means I'm going to fail the few GCSEs I'm taking. I won't get into college, or university, I'm going to have no future (not that I really want one anyway) can someone please tell me what to do because I just hate everything and I'm at the end of my tether now !!??
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    (Original post by Gerosandwich)
    So I'm 16, live in the UK, doing my GCSEs supposed to be going to school but I rarely do. I have suffered with severe OCD, anxiety and depression for years, basically since I was like 6 or 7. I've never really been happy with life, for most of my childhood I had episodes of wanting to be dead. I was never abused or anything, I just hate life so much, I don't really want to be alive but I'm too much of a coward to kill myself. I've been under the mental health service for 3 years now. I've been in an anxiety group & a psych unit, seen a school counsellor, 2 therapists, 3 psychiatrists, i've OD'd, i'm on anti depressant & anti psychotic medication & missed a total of like nearly 2 years of school. I started a new school (because of bullys) May this year. My options are History, Art & obvs English, Maths & double Science, I dropped history (failing it completely). English is going wellish, I'm on target for an A/A* in eng Lang , Maths i'm on target for a c if I'm lucky, Science I'm ok at and enjoy but I'm behind on coursework because it has to be monitored while I do it and I barely attend school, my teacher says "you don't have a chance in hell" of getting double but I might get a single grade. In art my teacher said "Make lots of art, send it off & see what happens" as I wouldn't be able to do all the stuff the others have in the final 2 months & they grade you mainly on how you show development of ideas. I'm down to 4 gcses. I'm only at school like 2 days a week as most of the time I am too fatigued to get up and I have no real reason to get up and go to school (I mean I do but I feel like I don't) I thought I wanted to be a doctor but that's not going to happen, I don't really want to do A levels or college (once again I do but I have no motivation). I haven't been to school in a week now and I really don't want to go back. I want to hide in a corner and never come out. I cry all the time, just continuous silent tears. I've spoken to careers advisor and teachers and parents but I just do not want to get out of bed and face the day, I HATE sunlight so much, it makes me feel sick. I don't sleep till 4 am and my lack of attendance means I'm going to fail the few GCSEs I'm taking. I won't get into college, or university, I'm going to have no future (not that I really want one anyway) can someone please tell me what to do because I just hate everything and I'm at the end of my tether now !!??
    Ok, first of all, the more you try NOW the less catching up you'll have to do later. You want to become a doctor, that isn't impossible. Try your best in school. Be honest with your medical professionals. You have to truly want to get better. The medicine you're taking will probably be contributing towards your sleep problems. Try to look at your situation from the third person perspective; what would you advise someone in your situation to do?

    If you want to talk about it more, I'm more than happy to.
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    This should motivate you:

    Grades achieved
    E English
    E Maths
    F science

    and some other FUDGE grades.

    1 year out of school..worked my arse off... revision every night.

    English C
    Maths C
    Science C.

    If you want it you will achieve it.
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    Thanks both of you for answering my question, I think my real problem is that I want nothing out of life anymore, I literally cannot see anything worth the effort to get. I eat way less than I used too usually just a v small break fast and lunch, a reasonable sized dinner and sometimes a snack at night but yet I still pile on the weight, mostly likely because I never burn off whatever I eat, and I have an autoimmune condition which means my thyroid doesn't work. I'm fat, nearly 14 stone, and so I look in the mirror and feel ill. I started to get bullied at school again and it's only just been dealt with, I feel like I'm trapped, in a tiny little box with no air. I have family problems, mum and dad are separate and hate each other, traveling back and forth between two homes means extra hand washing and shower time for my ocd. I just do not see anything worth working for, so it's not like I have any reason to wake up in the morning... I lack ability to concentrate and only recently read my first book in two years, because I can't read anything without crying as I want to be in the messed up dystopian worlds on the paper, away from the boring shithole I have now, and to actually have a purpose. People think it's so easy to tell yourself "other people have it worse and your family would miss you if you were gone" quite frankly I don't give one about the people who have it worse, they have their problems and I have mine, don't compare my situation to a kid with cancer or someone dying and tell me how good I have it because that's not fair at all. We all deal with things in different ways! And if I were dead I wouldn't know that my family missed me because I'd be dead in an urn or something. Call me selfish, I've heard it all before, I know what a cow I am, I guess I'm salty for being born, all I've felt all my life is rejected by peers and not good enough. I know I'm ugly, I know I'm weak, I know I'm an arrogant ******** but honestly this is how the world has shaped me, cruel place isn't it? Sorry for the unpopular opinions I'm just do done :'(
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    (Original post by Gerosandwich)
    Thanks both of you for answering my question, I think my real problem is that I want nothing out of life anymore, I literally cannot see anything worth the effort to get. I eat way less than I used too usually just a v small break fast and lunch, a reasonable sized dinner and sometimes a snack at night but yet I still pile on the weight, mostly likely because I never burn off whatever I eat, and I have an autoimmune condition which means my thyroid doesn't work. I'm fat, nearly 14 stone, and so I look in the mirror and feel ill. I started to get bullied at school again and it's only just been dealt with, I feel like I'm trapped, in a tiny little box with no air. I have family problems, mum and dad are separate and hate each other, traveling back and forth between two homes means extra hand washing and shower time for my ocd. I just do not see anything worth working for, so it's not like I have any reason to wake up in the morning... I lack ability to concentrate and only recently read my first book in two years, because I can't read anything without crying as I want to be in the messed up dystopian worlds on the paper, away from the boring shithole I have now, and to actually have a purpose. People think it's so easy to tell yourself "other people have it worse and your family would miss you if you were gone" quite frankly I don't give one about the people who have it worse, they have their problems and I have mine, don't compare my situation to a kid with cancer or someone dying and tell me how good I have it because that's not fair at all. We all deal with things in different ways! And if I were dead I wouldn't know that my family missed me because I'd be dead in an urn or something. Call me selfish, I've heard it all before, I know what a cow I am, I guess I'm salty for being born, all I've felt all my life is rejected by peers and not good enough. I know I'm ugly, I know I'm weak, I know I'm an arrogant ******** but honestly this is how the world has shaped me, cruel place isn't it? Sorry for the unpopular opinions I'm just do done :'(
    Ok, honestly, you're doing really well here, but there's still some things you have to do. I want you to copy and paste all the words you wrote on here, print them out and show them to your GP/Psychiatrist, can you do that for me?
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    (Original post by KyleH123)
    Ok, honestly, you're doing really well here, but there's still some things you have to do. I want you to copy and paste all the words you wrote on here, print them out and show them to your GP/Psychiatrist, can you do that for me?
    Yeah I can do that, you think it will help?
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    (Original post by Gerosandwich)
    Yeah I can do that, you think it will help?
    i'm confident it will.
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    Do you want a skype call I can help you?
 
 
 
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