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Is it normal for confidence to go from one extreme to another? Watch

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    Is it normal for my confidence to dip and rise from one extreme to the other in the same day? Or a short space of time?

    Sometimes I can feel really positive (but its momentary) and then something will happen and it sends me crashing right back down again. This can be over a whole manner of things, but mainly it is to do with girls and the ladies. More recently, its been over employment issues and hating my situation.

    I know that this may be because I have a dented self-esteem and low self worth- however- when things go well its like I have a temporary inflated view. Its like I become giddy at the prospect 'life will be okay' however, I try to stop myself from feeling this. Eventually I give in, by which point something happens and life hits a down point again.

    I am currently in psychotherapy for emotional problems, anger/rage, and low self-esteem and I am in a difficult period in my life.

    What do you all think would be advisable?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Is it normal for my confidence to dip and rise from one extreme to the other in the same day? Or a short space of time?
    I don't have any advice + I don't know if it's normal, but this happens to me all the time. Like, all the time + I can entirely relate + it sucks + I'm sorry. ^-^

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    I think so, no one is flawless, sometimes you have more difficulty making a decision or keeping it together than at other times.
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    i can relate, but it shouldn't be a normal thing, i'm really sorry i can't advise you of anything as i struggle greatly myself with it.
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    How are you finding the psychotherapy? As you are here asking this, do you not feel you can talk about it as much there/aren't getting the support you need? I was in psychotherapy for two years for somewhat similar reasons and it was utter ****.

    Do you take any medication currently? Sometimes it can be helpful to stabilise your mood, if anything.
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    I think it depends on your circumstances. We are all at an age where hardly anything is set in stone and some of life's biggest things like work and relationships are still to be determined. Guaranteed these are all things which cause ups and downs, sometimes to extremes. One year it can be social issues, the next money, graduating and finding a job etc.

    Your response indicates your life is probably quite unsettled, and you're battling between optimism and panic. I was taught by my therapist last year to recognise things which were out of my control and learn how to self-manage, e.g. know when I was freaking out over hearing back about financial support, a grade, my mum's illness. These were all things I had no direct control over, and shifting my focus to something I could do, like another assessment was a better way to use all my nervous energy.

    I still struggle now, but it's getting on track with better habits which counts. I don't know if this helps you at all, but I somewhat understand how you're feeling. Hope things are better for you soon.
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    (Original post by Katarvi)
    How are you finding the psychotherapy? As you are here asking this, do you not feel you can talk about it as much there/aren't getting the support you need? I was in psychotherapy for two years for somewhat similar reasons and it was utter ****.

    Do you take any medication currently? Sometimes it can be helpful to stabilise your mood, if anything.
    Psychotherapy can be a bit 'airy fairy' at times. Its abit like going around in circles, or telling me something I already realised and getting no wisdom from it.

    I do feel somewhat comfortable talking to her. At the moment I am having serious problems with my anger, and am prone to go into a rage over seemingly minor stuff, which sometimes leads to angry outbursts.

    I usually get down, something dents my self-confidence and I think 'screw it'. Its like as soon as I feel I'm getting better- feeling positive- I am like 'yeah lifes good' then something happens and I just slump back into feeling horrid. I think my problem is my resilience.

    I don't have a lot of confidence in my abilities, and even in my appearance in myself.

    Lately, I've had lots of compliments about my hair and new style- and even though people tell me I always think its because they are been polite. It wasn't until 12+ people said it (isolated cases) that I started to realise they must be saying it genuinely. However, something happens like I have a bad day- or something doesn't go to plan/I don't get the job and I slump back.


    There are times when I think; whats the point.

    I'm no longer on medication- I used to be, but that was before psychotherapy.
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    (Original post by librarygirl)
    I think it depends on your circumstances. We are all at an age where hardly anything is set in stone and some of life's biggest things like work and relationships are still to be determined. Guaranteed these are all things which cause ups and downs, sometimes to extremes. One year it can be social issues, the next money, graduating and finding a job etc.

    Your response indicates your life is probably quite unsettled, and you're battling between optimism and panic. I was taught by my therapist last year to recognise things which were out of my control and learn how to self-manage, e.g. know when I was freaking out over hearing back about financial support, a grade, my mum's illness. These were all things I had no direct control over, and shifting my focus to something I could do, like another assessment was a better way to use all my nervous energy.

    I still struggle now, but it's getting on track with better habits which counts. I don't know if this helps you at all, but I somewhat understand how you're feeling. Hope things are better for you soon.
    I agree with most of what you've written.

    In fact, i believe my therapist told me the exact same thing; and advised me to notice when I start to get anxious/angry or agitated about things outside my control and make the conscious effort to control those in my control. However, i have a tendency to forget what she tells me. My retention isn't so great, ironically, I'm usually a bit tense and on edge in sessions so the very thing I am going to solve ends up getting in the way of its' solution.

    My problem is in trying to notice when I am about to fly off the handle and slow down/notice my feelings, as my therapist says. However, it is easier said than done, when I'm pissed i'm not usually thinking 'oh well now I want to throttle so and so- lets just take a step back'- no- normally I'm just going to go ahead and do it.

    But anyway- thank you for your advice, it was insightful for me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Psychotherapy can be a bit 'airy fairy' at times. Its abit like going around in circles, or telling me something I already realised and getting no wisdom from it.

    I do feel somewhat comfortable talking to her. At the moment I am having serious problems with my anger, and am prone to go into a rage over seemingly minor stuff, which sometimes leads to angry outbursts.

    I usually get down, something dents my self-confidence and I think 'screw it'. Its like as soon as I feel I'm getting better- feeling positive- I am like 'yeah lifes good' then something happens and I just slump back into feeling horrid. I think my problem is my resilience.

    I don't have a lot of confidence in my abilities, and even in my appearance in myself.

    Lately, I've had lots of compliments about my hair and new style- and even though people tell me I always think its because they are been polite. It wasn't until 12+ people said it (isolated cases) that I started to realise they must be saying it genuinely. However, something happens like I have a bad day- or something doesn't go to plan/I don't get the job and I slump back.


    There are times when I think; whats the point.

    I'm no longer on medication- I used to be, but that was before psychotherapy.
    Did you find the medication helpful at all and would you ever consider taking medication again? I'm not trying to say it's the cure for everything but it seems like stability is an issue in your life and if medication can help stabilise your moods, that'd be an improvement.

    It's good that you feel you can talk to your psychotherapist. Do you have long left in those sessions/how long have you been having them now? Has your psychotherapist explored with you where your feeling of low self-esteem might come from? Lots of questions, sorry. Knowing why you feel this way is pretty important to the recovery process I'd say.

    Try being kind to yourself every now and then, if you can. It may feel strange and weird at first, but try find one thing each day that you did well or that worked out okay and praise yourself for it. I know for me at least it was partly a lack of praise growing up that effected my self-esteem issues, so one thing that is important to remember to do is give yourself credit where it's due. You're the only you there is and you're stuck with it, so may as well be kind and nice to yourself because you're not going anywhere. It's not ground breaking but it's a start.

    I wish you luck!
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    (Original post by Katarvi)
    Did you find the medication helpful at all and would you ever consider taking medication again? I'm not trying to say it's the cure for everything but it seems like stability is an issue in your life and if medication can help stabilise your moods, that'd be an improvement.

    It's good that you feel you can talk to your psychotherapist. Do you have long left in those sessions/how long have you been having them now? Has your psychotherapist explored with you where your feeling of low self-esteem might come from? Lots of questions, sorry. Knowing why you feel this way is pretty important to the recovery process I'd say.

    Try being kind to yourself every now and then, if you can. It may feel strange and weird at first, but try find one thing each day that you did well or that worked out okay and praise yourself for it. I know for me at least it was partly a lack of praise growing up that effected my self-esteem issues, so one thing that is important to remember to do is give yourself credit where it's due. You're the only you there is and you're stuck with it, so may as well be kind and nice to yourself because you're not going anywhere. It's not ground breaking but it's a start.

    I wish you luck!
    The medication was helpful up unto a point. I found that the medication 'levelled' me out and my worrying thoughts weren't as intrusive, they seemed more like a faraway fleeting annoyance more than anything. The only concern was the fact that I felt so lethargic that my personality could have been likened to a 'zombie'...I was far too spaced put.

    The other problem was that as a became accustomed to them I wasn't getting any of the positive benefits of the medication.

    The sessions go in for as long as I decide to keep going, as I'm paying out of my own pocket privately. Yes we've explored them and where they arise from, although, I still have difficulties from time to time- I think it's much less about origins of my issues and more how to deal with them practically (at least for me).

    I also tend to praise myself much less, and although I'm not as self critical as I used to be, I am still very negative about my own achievements.

    Thank you for your post
 
 
 
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