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    don't want to be plagiarised and can't delete the thread
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    Welcome Squad
    It needs a considerable amount of re-writing and editing, sorry.
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    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    It needs a considerable amount of re-writing and editing, sorry.
    why does it need that?


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    Paragraphs man.
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    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    It needs a considerable amount of re-writing and editing, sorry.
    please reply


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    (Original post by hannahrobinsxn)
    please reply


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    Hold your horses Ernest Hemmingway! I was busy!

    You have random capital letters on your pronouns for no reason, you're lacking in paragraphs, you have multiple occasions of no spaces after your full stops...

    that's just the technical side of things. I won't go into the content itself.
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    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    Hold your horses Ernest Hemmingway! I was busy!

    You have random capital letters on your pronouns for no reason, you're lacking in paragraphs, you have multiple occasions of no spaces after your full stops...

    that's just the technical side of things. I won't go into the content itself.
    what's wrong with the content?


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    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    Hold your horses Ernest Hemmingway! I was busy!

    You have random capital letters on your pronouns for no reason, you're lacking in paragraphs, you have multiple occasions of no spaces after your full stops...

    that's just the technical side of things. I won't go into the content itself.
    I am really sorry - I didn't mean to be horrible, but could tell me about the content - I am anxious to make it better and I really appreciate all of your thoughts as I saw that you are as writer


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    (Original post by hannahrobinsxn)
    what's wrong with the content?


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    Just give up, it's so easy...
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    tbh i thought the content was fine. not my sort of story but well done.
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    (Original post by Username002.5)
    Just give up, it's so easy...
    why should I give up?


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    (Original post by hannahrobinsxn)
    why should I give up?


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    Because it's easy and you'll never worry again. Surrender yourself to peace. It's so calm and simple.
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    (Original post by the bear)
    tbh i thought the content was fine. not my sort of story but well done.
    why did the women say it was bad then


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    It is really difficult to read because of the formatting, I am not sure what is meant by 'HerRamrod'. The lack of paragraphs and the fact speech is on the same line as the rest of the text is also awful.

    Content wise there's not much to say, it is decent although the events of the story are a bit dull as well.
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    (Original post by Dinasaurus)
    It is really difficult to read because of the formatting, I am not sure what is meant by 'HerRamrod'. The lack of paragraphs and the fact speech is on the same line as the rest of the text is also awful.

    Content wise there's not much to say, it is decent although the events of the story are a bit dull as well.
    when I copied and pasted it, it came out in this format.

    what kind of stories do you find interesting?



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    (Original post by hannahrobinsxn)
    what's wrong with the content?


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    Well as with any story, content is subjective, but it didn't inspire me as a reader to be honest, and some of the language was too much like purple prose.

    Saying that, apparently someone else liked it, so as I said it's subjective.

    Definitely work on the technical side of things though. Hope that helps.
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    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    Well as with any story, content is subjective, but it didn't inspire me as a reader to be honest, and some of the language was too much like purple prose.

    Saying that, apparently someone else liked it, so as I said it's subjective.

    Definitely work on the technical side of things though. Hope that helps.
    okay thank you, where abouts was the language like that?


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    (Original post by hannahrobinsxn)
    when I copied and pasted it, it came out in this format.

    what kind of stories do you find interesting?



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    I guess it's just not my genre, I prefer like more action and 'big' events.
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    (Original post by hannahrobinsxn)
    okay thank you, where abouts was the language like that?


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    It's just generally a bit flowery. You're not overusing adjectives, but this sort of thing :

    "She stands directly across from my father, exuding a golden glow of wealth and ceremony."

    I guess we just have different writing styles. Some people will like your writing though so don't take my opinion as gospel - all writers have different voices. Like I said, the content is subjective. It's really the technical stuff you need to sort out.
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    Hey Hannah, chill out!
    You are answering these questions as if u are going crazy and are desperate for their opinion lol. Just chill people will post their comments.
 
 
 
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