Yay! Well done, I'm happy for you(Original post by Anonymous)
Ok so I talked to a really gorgeous girl that I've seen around. Turns out we're on the same course but she's a year above me. We talked a little and it was all okay despite me virtually having an anxiety attack beforehand.
I didn't ask for her name or number and by the time I got back from lunch she'd gone. I feel really stupid now but I'm glad I had the guts to at least say hi.
See, it wasn't so bad was it? Now you know you can talk to any girl should you wish to
But are you still afraid of sex or do you think that would go away once you get more comfortable with the person i.e become your girlfriend?
I think i'm afraid of sex Watch
Last edited by Eternalflames; 08-03-2016 at 23:17.
- 08-03-2016 18:34
- 08-03-2016 18:37
You should just go for it... girls are just as insecure and if you get a first date make sure it doesnt seem like your losing interest otherwise the girl will most likely feel you dont like her..remember she wouldnt have said yes to going out with you in the first place if she wasnt interested in you.
- 08-03-2016 21:10
Small steps, why not just start of with online dating.
- Thread Starter
(Original post by Katarvi)
- 14-03-2016 00:12
I think part of the problem here is your mindset. Thinking that you aren't good enough and won't ever find someone is almost like a self-fulfilling prophesy. You think that which effects your behaviour which makes what you think become truth. You need to have more confidence in yourself; which is easier said than done I know.
Being scared to kiss a girl on a date is a definite turn off, women typically tend to like men who are more sure of themselves and willing to make the first moves. You need to learn to actually like yourself before you can really expect anyone else to.
Your life definitely does not need to be perfect in order to have someone else in it. Far from it. Is seeing your counsellor helping at all? I'd suggest buying some self-help books on confidence and self-esteem, Google tips for how to boost confidence and talk to women, work on getting your life to a point where you are happy with you who are and where you're at (are you studying, working?) and in the mean time try some other online dating websites that aren't Tinder. Something less hook-up-y and slightly more serious like OKCupid, POF, Match, etc. Go on a few more dates and see how you fare, you've nothing to lose and it will help build up your experience in talking to women.
Most importantly, don't lose hope! You WILL find someone and it will be exactly the right type of person for you and everything will be fine! Stay positive and believe it will happen, you will be fine!
The counsellor is helping a little although we've not quite gotten to the bottom of why i don't feel good enough to have a woman in my life and why i feel the need to be perfect all the time as well as the paralysing fear of women.
I'm honestly starting to think that I won't ever meet someone no matter how hard i try to change my thoughts. Perhaps it's my approach where i'm being too nice and not being sexual enough.
- 14-03-2016 00:37
Next time you see that girl again in the library say hI and sit next to her or just opposite, if she seems friendly . Then after a while you can say you are just going for a coffee and does she want to come too. First ( almost ) date done.
Repeat until you vary invitation to .. I'm sick of studying are you coming for a stroll round the park while our minds recover? or then next shall we go to ....whatever..... together this afternoon/ tonight ? After this you probably should give her a hug and kiss her (perhaps the french kiss on both cheeks thing if you're not sure of her response / don't want to seem too full on) when you say goodbye so she's sure you are thinking of her romantically! Then you're on your way....