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Myth-Busting Mondays: How many children experience bereavement of a parent/sibling? watch

  • View Poll Results: How many children under 16 will experience bereavement of a parent/sibling?
    1 in 100
    134
    14.77%
    1 in 75
    135
    14.88%
    1 in 50
    205
    22.60%
    1 in 25
    224
    24.70%
    1 in 10
    131
    14.44%
    1 in 5
    78
    8.60%

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    Welcome to Myth-Busting Mondays, which aims to beat stereotypes and provoke discussion on perhaps often overlooked topics.

    Have you experienced bereavement of a parent or sibling, or know someone who has? It's often not talked about or discussed as openly as it should, so how common do you think it is for children under 16 to experience this?

    If you have been affected by bereavement, at any age, please take a look at the B
    ereavement Help and Support thread. For more urgent help, please contact the Samaritans on 0842 790 9090.

    Please post of any experience you have below (you can post anonymously in this thread). Please remember to be sensitive to others who may be vulnerable.
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    (Original post by BurstingBubbles)
    Welcome to Myth-Busting Mondays, which aims to beat stereotypes and provoke discussion on perhaps often overlooked topics.

    Have you experienced bereavement of a parent or sibling, or know someone who has? It's often not talked about or discussed as openly as it should, so how common do you think it is for children under 16 to experience this?

    If you have been affected by bereavement, at any age, please take a look at the B
    ereavement Help and Support thread. For more urgent help, please contact the Samaritans on 0842 790 9090.

    Please post of any experience you have below (you can post anonymously in this thread). Please remember to be sensitive to others who may be vulnerable.
    My mate lost his mum when he was 10/11 and my other mate lost his dad when he was 14 (I think I got the ages right)

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    I think it's 1 in 10.

    I lost my mother at age 4 (5 a month later).

    My memory of the time is hazy however I'm told I cried a lot and was sullen for months.

    I remember being quite angry when relatives who didn't like my mother whilst alive like my Uncle took stuff from our family home. Perhaps others can relate to disdain for opportunists?

    Growing up without a mother was difficult but I was lucky enough to be taken in by a relative.

    I appreciate that those who lost a parent at an older age will have a lot of deeper feelings to deal with. My pain stems more from her absence and not her loss.
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    My dad died suddenly a couple of months after I turned 17 (my sister was 14) and I definitely didn't cope very well or get the support I needed. It was a complicated situation as he hadn't lived with us since I was 6 so it was weird thinking he wasn't around any more because I was used to not seeing him for weeks or months at a time. The message wasn't spread around my teachers or the adults at my sixth form college at all. My mum let them know and I remember a member of the support staff hearing about the death from me later and being shocked that nothing was being done about it - I then assumed he would tell other staff but a few months later when I was having real problems with anxiety I discovered that the main member of support staff at the college hadn't been informed about his death. In my final year at college, when I was consumed with anxiety (whether triggered wholly by his death or not, it's never been quite clear), I also didn't receive much support. Given that it was such a break with who I was and my previous almost perfect attendance and achievements I think the staff should have been trained to recognise that something was seriously wrong with me, especially given the bereavement.

    So yeah, I know I'm a little over the age you're looking at but that's what my experience was.

    I do remember a girl in year 7 who lost her mother. She had been ill for some time and then one day the girl was called out of class. That definitely affected me, but as you say child bereavement isn't widely discussed and so when you're young and you witness somebody losing someone you kind of have to work through the feelings and your fears yourself. It's not ideal.
    • #1
    #1

    I lost my mother when I was 8.

    Still remember the day crystal clear.

    I feel sadder for my grandparents though. A child should never die before their parents.
    I also feel sadder for my older brother.

    Life goes on, with or without you.
    • #2
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    Anyone have the actually statistic? I voted 1 in 100 on the basis of having around 1000 people in high school close enough for me to hear gossip about this kind of stuff.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anyone have the actually statistic? I voted 1 in 100 on the basis of having around 1000 people in high school close enough for me to hear gossip about this kind of stuff.
    I'll reveal the statistic tomorrow
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    Both my parents died when I was aged 22
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    (Original post by queen-bee)
    Both my parents died when I was aged 22
    I bet that was a **** year
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    (Original post by ChaoticButterfly)
    I bet that was a **** year
    2014 really was a very depressing year for me
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    My older brother was killed when I was 15. Even now, 10 years later, it hurts like a mother****er - almost crying just writing this.

    I can still vividly remember my dad's face in the hospital when he was crying.
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    I haven't lost any parents or siblings through their passing away and neither have any of the friends I've made throughout the years.. I'd say probably 1 in 10.

    (My thoughts go to anyone reading this who have lost a close family member, though.)
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    Being one of those kids I happen to know what the exact stat is so won't vote and it's more common than people think ( three of my friends from secondary school have all lost parents and there were more people in my year of the 200 of us that I know of)

    My dad died pretty suddenly 3 weeks before Christmas when I was 9 years old, that day pretty much changed my life forever. 11 years on I still remember it ridiculously clearly. To me that was the day I learnt that life isn't fair and well it took me a long time to recover. it has had a massive impact on how my personality has turned out ( not all for bad reasons but it's where my pessimism comes from).
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    I lost my dad when I was 10 (16 years ago this Thursday in fact).
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    does it count, say if a child's mother miscarried?
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    Depends, is the statistic based in the UK or worldwide?
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    I haven't ever experienced it personally but my partner lost his mum when he was 10 due to kidney cancer. He took it badly as he was an only child and then was forced to live with his dad who he's never been best friends with and had to live with his stepmum and their children together. 14 years on, he is doing ok after everything that happened. He rarely talks of his mum but when he does, its only ever of happy times.

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    I experience it but when I was a bit older. Death of my sister.

    I voted 1 in 25.
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    (Original post by rainbowsloth)
    Depends, is the statistic based in the UK or worldwide?
    I believe the stats for the UK. It would probably be higher worldwide, and even then be under reported/underestimated.
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    Lost my dad when i was 8 years well the effects were not immediate but with time you start coming to terms with the effects of not having a dad


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