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    Hi

    I've noticed that my father undermines everything I say. It really pisses me off. This sounds arrogant but I'm smarter than him and have shown this many times. He has NO qualifications I have many, he has no idea how to use a computer and yet he treats me like an invalid. I'm a person who only says stuff if it matters and I'm pretty certain I right, which I usually am, so it really annoys me the way he always acts like I'm an idiot who doesn't know what I'm on about. If I said 2+2=4 he'd say "Don't talk rubbish, you've been reading on that Internet too much again."
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    Shut up old man

    Should work, if he shouts raise your voice, if he punches punch him back.
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    If you speak to him the way you come across on here you're lucky that's all he's doing to you.

    Try talking to him normally like a regular father/son or father/daughter relationship and see what happens
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    Have a feeling he thinks you're badly socialised. He may also be doing this to make you try harder at something. Gain independence.
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    Ah.........try and see it from your Dad's point of view. He has this child who is for ever getting above himself, thinks he knows it all at .....(whatever your age is), is perpetually showing off, has no respect for his parents and acts as if he is above his company despite the fact that he has virtually no life experience whatsoever....

    .It sounds as if he understands you all too well, after all he's been there himself once. He probably chuckles quietly to himself every night.

    I hope you are making notes/ keeping a diary so that when you are his age you will understand your boy's strange ways. It's understandable that you are wanting to show off your competence but you shouldn't be doing it at the expense of your father ( or anyone really.) It's rude and inconsiderate. Formal qualifications are good to have but will only take you so far in life. It is equally if not more important to have interpersonal skills ie to be able to get on with people from all back grounds, ages and life experiences. and this is learnt by respecting and understanding them. Start by trying to appreciate your father .
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    Ask yourself this "who would I be today without my father." Have you tried talking to him? Politely? It's always the little things that then turn huge because of misunderstandings. Just be nice to him even if you feel like he's being unfair. You should make the effort to be a great son to your father. Your father is in your life today. We don't know about tomorrow. Don't say anything you'll definitely regret in the future. You have these qualifications because he has put you in school. Instead of focussing on what he hasn't done for you focus on what he has done for you. And same to you as well. What have you done for your father and what could you do for him today. Spend time with each other. I hope you resolve your problems.

    In the end we do regret the chances we didn't take.


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    Some of you have said productive things but others are making assumptions about me and my relationship with my father. (Essentially undermining me, doing what I came here to get away from.)

    I said I seemed arrogant in my message but I did that to explain the difference between me and him. I'm a VERY passive person who hardly says anything and I would never show off to my father. It's a great insult that you suggest I do.

    Thanks to the ones who actually listened to me and tried to help me with my problem. To all the ones who undermined what I said, like my father: don't make assumptions about someone and insult them based on those assumptions, that is exactly what my father does.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Some of you have said productive things but others are making assumptions about me and my relationship with my father. (Essentially undermining me, doing what I came here to get away from.)

    I said I seemed arrogant in my message but I did that to explain the difference between me and him. I'm a VERY passive person who hardly says anything and I would never show off to my father. It's a great insult that you suggest I do.

    Thanks to the ones who actually listened to me and tried to help me with my problem. To all the ones who undermined what I said, like my father: don't make assumptions about someone and insult them based on those assumptions, that is exactly what my father does.
    He just needs a firm handling, if he interrupts you tell him not to, if he insults you tell him not to, if he is sarcastic and acts superior, yes you guessed it tell him not to. If he doesn't listen just cut him out of your life.
 
 
 
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