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    Ever since my mum was little my grandma has mentally and physically abused her. All her life my grandma has manipulated and destroyed my mum. My mum has depression, anxiety and is clearly a very vulnerable and traumatised adult. My grandma even destroyed my mothers marriage. Even my dad acknowledges that that woman is pure evil. The bad news is my grandma is way beyond alive and kicking and she continues to control and destroy my mum. My mum is so scared of her and tells her everything and my grandma has my mum thinking that without her she would just die.

    Now my grandma is trying to ruin me and my mums relationship when we were just about to start mending it. She basically forced my mum to tell me that I wasn't human and that she doesn't care about me or my education. My mum visibly did not want to say this but of course she can't deny her abuser. I was fighting back with my grandma saying she is clearly causing my mum stress and that just made things worse. My mum begged me (mouthed) me to leave the room and I did. My mum said she was going to the toilet (cause my grandma told her not to talk to me) and then she came in my room and tried to think of reasons to hate me and I kept telling her how much I love her and can't she see what my grandma is doing and she's like "but she's my mum" in near tears and told me please don't start a war. She is so scared and I just really don't know what to do. I wish my grandma would just drop dead.
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    Maybe you should discuss this with a counsellor? And try to just talk to her calmly in private. If your grandma lives with you, I guess this would be really difficult. Good luck.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ever since my mum was little my grandma has mentally and physically abused her. All her life my grandma has manipulated and destroyed my mum. My mum has depression, anxiety and is clearly a very vulnerable and traumatised adult. My grandma even destroyed my mothers marriage. Even my dad acknowledges that that woman is pure evil. The bad news is my grandma is way beyond alive and kicking and she continues to control and destroy my mum. My mum is so scared of her and tells her everything and my grandma has my mum thinking that without her she would just die.

    Now my grandma is trying to ruin me and my mums relationship when we were just about to start mending it. She basically forced my mum to tell me that I wasn't human and that she doesn't care about me or my education. My mum visibly did not want to say this but of course she can't deny her abuser. I was fighting back with my grandma saying she is clearly causing my mum stress and that just made things worse. My mum begged me (mouthed) me to leave the room and I did. My mum said she was going to the toilet (cause my grandma told her not to talk to me) and then she came in my room and tried to think of reasons to hate me and I kept telling her how much I love her and can't she see what my grandma is doing and she's like "but she's my mum" in near tears and told me please don't start a war. She is so scared and I just really don't know what to do. I wish my grandma would just drop dead.
    This sounds like it has got past the point of working this out between you alone. Have you considered councilling for the relationship between your mother and her mother, and individidual therapy for your mother and grandmother?
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    (Original post by ||TheUnknown||)
    Maybe you should discuss this with a counsellor? And try to just talk to her calmly in private. If your grandma lives with you, I guess this would be really difficult. Good luck.
    (Original post by Numbskull)
    This sounds like it has got past the point of working this out between you alone. Have you considered councilling for the relationship between your mother and her mother, and individidual therapy for your mother and grandmother?
    I go therapy and I've discussed this issue and he is slowly working with my mum as well. He was telling me how the last time they talked, she does seem really under-confident and clearly is a traumatised adult (in his experience). I hate this woman so much. She is ruining everything me and my mother have. And she is also ruining my mothers life.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I go therapy and I've discussed this issue and he is slowly working with my mum as well. He was telling me how the last time they talked, she does seem really under-confident and clearly is a traumatised adult (in his experience). I hate this woman so much. She is ruining everything me and my mother have. And she is also ruining my mothers life.
    More than anything I just feel deeply sorry for you all. You may hate this woman understandably but realise (as you probably already do) that these are the actions of a deeply unwell person. There will be at least some way of easing the relationship with therapy. Could I suggest a break in contact for some time, with a lot of therapy for you all?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I go therapy and I've discussed this issue and he is slowly working with my mum as well. He was telling me how the last time they talked, she does seem really under-confident and clearly is a traumatised adult (in his experience). I hate this woman so much. She is ruining everything me and my mother have. And she is also ruining my mothers life.
    Then the best you can do now is try to develop as close a relationship to her as possible. You sound like you really love her . The upcoming Sunday is Mother's Day. Do something special with her. Maybe avoiding your Grandma may also be a good idea. Or, if you are feeling brave, try to understand her too.

    A little compassion and compromise can go a long way!
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    (Original post by Numbskull)
    More than anything I just feel deeply sorry for you all. You may hate this woman understandably but realise (as you probably already do) that these are the actions of a deeply unwell person. There will be at least some way of easing the relationship with therapy. Could I suggest a break in contact for some time, with a lot of therapy for you all?
    A break from my mum? I wish my grandma and mum would have a break but that is simply not allowed to happen.
    (Original post by ||TheUnknown||)
    Then the best you can do now is try to develop as close a relationship to her as possible. You sound like you really love her . The upcoming Sunday is Mother's Day. Do something special with her. Maybe avoiding your Grandma may also be a good idea. Or, if you are feeling brave, try to understand her too.A little compassion and compromise can go a long way!
    My grandma is basically a psychopath, the only solution for her is to drop dead. My mum on the other hand can probably receive some help if she acknowledges that it was her grandma that destroyed her. And yeah okay I'll do something for her My mum also hates talking about my grandma cause deep down she knows what my grandma is doing is wrong. I dont know how to fix this all, its really stressing me out
 
 
 
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