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    I've come to the realisation that lately majority of my friends, who I see as 'close' don't even prioritise me highly compared to others in the same friend group?

    It's starting to bother me as if I don't make an effort than I literally am not part of the group, whereas when I do make the effort, they act all nice and friendly and want to spend time together???
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    Because you accept this treatment , as a person you accept how people ultimately treat you.
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    It sounds like if you are feeling down one day (making no effort) they just latch onto someone else to entertain them and replace you, friends are the people should be there for you precisely on your worst days, these people are high maintenance monkeys who use you for entertainment
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've come to the realisation that lately majority of my friends, who I see as 'close' don't even prioritise me highly compared to others in the same friend group?

    It's starting to bother me as if I don't make an effort than I literally am not part of the group, whereas when I do make the effort, they act all nice and friendly and want to spend time together???
    You shouldn't change yourself for other people. That's always the bottom line really. Be yourself and if that isn't good enough for them then they've done you a favour and let you know they aren't the type of people you should hang with. You'll find people like this all the time. Sadly this is the world these days. Stick with your close pals.


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    (Original post by whorace)
    It sounds like if you are feeling down one day (making no effort) they just latch onto someone else to entertain them and replace you, friends are the people should be there for you precisely on your worst days, these people are high maintenance monkeys who use you for entertainment

    PRSOM

    Op you need to find better friends imo, while these people may be perfectly nice and convivial, you deserve true friendships with people who actually take a genuine interest in you, but don't worry you'll meet loads of people in your lifetime and you'll definitely find better friends than them
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    If it's always you who has to make the effort, then it's a pretty one-sided friendship. Friends should be there when you're at your best AND your worst (if you consider them good friends). If you're the quiet type, they'd still ask you to hang out/talk to you because by now they should have known who you really are and should accept you just the way you are.
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    By making an effort, do you mean messaging them more than they message you? Do they invite you to events as much as you invite them?

    I'm just interested to know as I think I may have the same problem with certain friends. But then again, I may be doing the same thing to others I don't regard as important enough to me. Not on purpose of course.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've come to the realisation that lately majority of my friends, who I see as 'close' don't even prioritise me highly compared to others in the same friend group?

    It's starting to bother me as if I don't make an effort than I literally am not part of the group, whereas when I do make the effort, they act all nice and friendly and want to spend time together???
    Basically...your a sideman


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    Ahahaha!
    (Original post by EnemyofState)
    Basically...your a sideman


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    Trust me I feel the same way about a group of friends of mine and I've tried everything to get close to them, but I still feel that I'm lowly prioritised too and to be honest I don't care because I have another group of friends that are exactly like me.

    I understand where you're coming from because it used to hurt me really bad to know that I was treated like that, but they're really caring just not the same fun that I usually have with the other group so that's why it doesn't hurt as bad anymore.
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    (Original post by Ganja_Saurus)
    Trust me I feel the same way about a group of friends of mine and I've tried everything to get close to them, but I still feel that I'm lowly prioritised too and to be honest I don't care because I have another group of friends that are exactly like me.

    I understand where you're coming from because it used to hurt me really bad to know that I was treated like that, but they're really caring just not the same fun that I usually have with the other group so that's why it doesn't hurt as bad anymore.
    Basically you're a side man


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    Your idea of friendship is obviously different to theirs. I've been in this situation and was also in the situation where he was acting like we're best mates. We're not. He's just some guy I know.

    I've been in the situation where someone was rather pissed off at me for not putting them first and wanting to do other stuff - stuff that I never get to do. I had enough of constantly having lecturers of how running club must come first and everything else must come second (I think the only time I didn't get whinged at was when I said I had a funeral) and just left. That was despite them knowing I've got a few long term medical problems too which can make me pretty ill.

    I have a friend who I'm pretty close to. I do stuff with him most Wednesdays. But it's done on the understanding that because he's giving up his time and doing this for free, (he teaches me the ukulele) other stuff comes first and either of us is free to end the session when we want.
 
 
 
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