Flirting too much?

It's really only just occured to me, that I seem to be quite flirty with the opposite sex. Even with people to whom I'm not attracted in the slightest. It's just my way of being friendly.

I guess I come across as flirty with my male friends (and my boyfriend's male friends too for that matter), but I mean, these guys all know that I'm joking, that I'm happily in a relationship, that I'd never cheat on my boyfriend, etc, etc. To me, it's a bit of harmless banter. (My boyfriend knows I love him and I'm just messing.) It's suddenly hit me though, that maybe I should be trying to tone it down?

But when it comes to the opposite sex, what's the line between being flirty and such being friendly? I'm not really sure what to change, to make the "just friends, just messing" stance more obvious.

Reply 1

DeepStar

17

I dnt think flirting too much is a problem, if all ur mates of the opposite sex knw that ur messing nd that ur happy in ur relationship. As long as u all knw where u stand with each other i dnt see it being a problem.
I knw wat u mean, abt being flirty naturally but i guess ther isnt a line that can be drawn between 'just messin abt' nd actually 'interested' in one the opposite sex, its just u nd ur friends knwing the person u are nd actually taking the flirting as way of u messin abt with them !!
U cud just make it clear to ur mates that ur just havin a laugh so non of them shud actually think that ur interested - incase u mislead sum1.

Reply 2

milly.

12

"If it ain't broken, don't fix it". If it's doing no harm, don't worry.

Reply 3

antbello

The only time I think it can be a problem is if people flirt too much with people they don't know that well, and give them the wrong impression. But if this isn't a problem with you then I don't see any reason for changing.

Reply 4

quintsy

17

I was told exactly the same about the way I come across yesterday by one of my close male friends, but I can honestly say I never considered it before then! As long as your boyfriend is comfortable with it and knows you aren't doing it deliberately, and as long as you aren't giving out potentially stronger signals than you mean to- then I don't think it should cause too many problems. :smile:

Reply 5

shaamsoni

i think...u shud do the same things you'd do if ure parter was there too... get teh drift?

Reply 6

WokSz

17

^ good idea. But if her bf doesn't mind, then it shouldn't really matter. Although, some innocent guy might get the wrong idea and this may actually stir up problems with your bf due to rumours, etc...

Reply 7

username47781

20

Well if you and the other guys are single, I don't see what the problem is with a bit of flirting.

Reply 8

polarbear89

well. in same position. well used to be. i mean flirting to me is my way of being friendly. been with my boyf for ages, but i still flirt. as long as its fun, and it doesnt go too far like kissing then its fine. explain to your bf that flirting is your thing and just reassure him. but no kissing!! or anything else. but i mean personally the line has been crossed if you kiss. and use your flirting with your boyf. just be really flirty with him. so he knows that you love him and no one else.

Reply 9

bruckheimer

this thread is the story of my life

Reply 10

high priestess fnord

9

I suppose it depends on your bf and his comfort zone. if hes happy with it then you arent hurting anyone there seems no reason to change. i flirt with my male friends alot and my bf flirts with his female friends but at the end of the day we trust each other and thats all that matters.

Reply 11

-steph-

2

Dont worry I do it as well and I dont even know that I am doing this. I just flirt unconsciencously. As all of my guy friends say that I do it to them. I dont think that it is cheating if you are aware of it. The difference in flirting and making friends is that making friends you dont really touch the person until you generally know them and see that they are comfortable with that. Flirting is when you start to joke around a lot and move really close to them and prob. get physical with them such as pat them on the back, punch them on the arm or brush their hand. Hope that this helps.

Reply 12

high priestess fnord

9

you punch people your trying to flirt with? :eek:

Reply 13

Paperfolders57

antbello

The only time I think it can be a problem is if people flirt too much with people they don't know that well, and give them the wrong impression. But if this isn't a problem with you then I don't see any reason for changing.

Only thing that can corse problems when people flirt , people can feel uncortfortable not knowing the person that wants to flirt with them!! :p:

Reply 14

shinytoy

18

why would you flirt with other guys if you are in a relationship? i treat all my friends the same regardless of their gender

Reply 15

antbello

Paperfolders57

Only thing that can corse problems when people flirt , people can feel uncortfortable not knowing the person that wants to flirt with them!! :p:

na didn't mean that. This is the scenario I was getting at: a person flirts with a stranger, stranger gets the 'wrong' idea and tries it on with the person, this pisses off the person's gf/bf, who accuses the person of flirting too much ---> Problem!!

Reply 16

high priestess fnord

9

shinytoy

why would you flirt with other guys if you are in a relationship? i treat all my friends the same regardless of their gender

because flirting is enjoyable, highly social and with my friends toally harmless. it makes both you and the other person feel good about themselves. i like flirting with my friends (both male and female) and there is no reason why i shouldnt.

what does being in a relationship have to do with anything?

Flirting too much?

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