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    (Original post by believeteam22)
    It wasn't a fantasy. We were friends. We did everything together. Why don't you understand this? Some people on this thread really have no idea.



    We were friends. I didn't make this up.
    (Original post by *Deidre*)
    Someone just commented in this thread to me that you were never in a relationship with this girl, and what you had was barely a friendship. Sounds like you have created a fantasy of a reality that never really was.
    He did create a fantasy, they were never friends. She liked the attention he gave her, but then he'd get really clingy and act very possessive, and she'd freak out and tell him she didn't want to see him anymore. Then she'd miss the attention and talk to him again. Repeat the cycle a good twenty times and you've got an idea of what was going on.

    Bear in mind that when she stopped talking to him, he got his parents to phone her (he's in his twenties!!!) and text her several times to try to convince her to change her mind; he rang and texted her family members to tell them to talk to her about him; he went round to her house to try to see her. She threatened to call the police on him at one point because she was so scared of his obsessive behaviour.

    P.S. She's had a boyfriend this whole time, who she intends to marry. But OP has been making obsessive threads about her for two years, despite the fact that she said she'd never be with him.
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    He did create a fantasy, they were never friends. She liked the attention he gave her, but then he'd get really clingy and act very possessive, and she'd freak out and tell him she didn't want to see him anymore. Then she'd miss the attention and talk to him again. Repeat the cycle a good twenty times and you've got an idea of what was going on.

    Bear in mind that when she stopped talking to him, he got his parents to phone her (he's in his twenties!!!) and text her several times to try to convince her to change her mind; he rang and texted her family members to tell them to talk to her about him; he went round to her house to try to see her. She threatened to call the police on him at one point because she was so scared of his obsessive behaviour.

    P.S. She's had a boyfriend this whole time, who she intends to marry. But OP has been making obsessive threads about her for two years, despite the fact that she said she'd never be with him.
    Ok let me clear some of these things up.

    We were friends. It's a bit unfair to say she is just an attention seeker. Yes I was clingy and sometimes possessive I admit.

    I got so scared of losing her from my life that I asked my mum to kindly ask her to step it. I NEVER texted or call her family members. Completely untrue.

    I NEVER went to her house. Once, I said to her please give me another chance otherwise I will come to your house and try to talk to you. She took this badly unfortunately, although I was never going to actually go to her house.

    Also, once I said to her I don't want to be her friend anymore and I blocked her myself. She tried to call me multiple times, sending me dozens of texts and said if you don't unblock me and talk to me, that she will come to my house and wait outside until I open the door!!

    She said that. And at the time I thought wow she really must care then. And when I say it, its world war 3!! Bit unfair don't you think?

    She threatened to call the police once yeah.

    She has a bf yeah, although it doesn't look like it the way she runs around with the other guy.

    Overall yes I made lots of mistakes with this girl. But she is at fault too.
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    I'm in uni right now in the library trying to do my work but I just cannot concentrate. She will be in the class at 2pm. I'm worried I will feel worse after seeing her. This is torture.
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    Do you have a fedora? Pop that on and you'll be fine xx
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Do you have a fedora? Pop that on and you'll be fine xx
    No..
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    I had a meeting with a counsellor just now. For about 25 minutes. It was hardly helpful at all.
    She said I am going through a loss, a bereavement if some sort.
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    Do you want to be friends with her again?
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    (Original post by MountKimbie)
    Do you want to be friends with her again?
    Yes.
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    (Original post by believeteam22)
    Yes.
    There is your problem right there. You don't want to move on. Nobody can help you if you, deep down, do not want to be helped. You have to be an adult.
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    (Original post by MountKimbie)
    There is your problem right there. You don't want to move on. Nobody can help you if you, deep down, do not want to be helped. You have to be an adult.
    I'm not ready yet. I can't believe this is happening. I'm struggling. It will take time to sink in.
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    (Original post by believeteam22)
    I'm not ready yet. I can't believe this is happening. I'm struggling. It will take time to sink in.
    What is your plan of action? What coping mechanism do you adopt.

    What did you think was going to happen? It has been a downward spiral ever since you first posted.
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    (Original post by believeteam22)
    I'm not ready yet. I can't believe this is happening. I'm struggling. It will take time to sink in.
    Ready yet for what? To lose the friendship? It doesn't sound like you're ever going to be ready to lose the friendship because to you it isn't just a friendship. You need to firstly realise that you will NEVER DATE THIS GIRL. It will never happen. Ever. Not today, not next week and not in ten ****ing years. The most it can ever be, and even that's a stretch at this point, is a purely platonic friendship, but given your behaviour even that is off the cards now.

    There is literally no wiggle room for you here, you cannot win her over, you simply must move on.
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    bruh , your at uni go out and get ****ed loool stop pussy footing around **** happens time will help you.
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    She loves the attention. If you ignore her she'll want you more anyway, that's how these attention seeking girls work. Why settle for a parrot that will say whatever you want when you can win the approval of someone who doesn't like you? I must be really good if he gives it to me. It's an approval thing, if you give her approval she'll think there's something wrong with you.

    (Original post by believeteam22)

    Also, once I said to her I don't want to be her friend anymore and I blocked her myself. She tried to call me multiple times, sending me dozens of texts and said if you don't unblock me and talk to me, that she will come to my house and wait outside until I open the door!!
    .
    If you would like evidence to backup what I just said, she can't stand being ignored because she thrives off attention. It's not about you, it's always about her.
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    (Original post by MountKimbie)
    What is your plan of action? What coping mechanism do you adopt.

    What did you think was going to happen? It has been a downward spiral ever since you first posted.
    I don't even know yet. I thought we were friends then we would just maybe drift off, she might get married, I'd be working full time etc, and just like that naturally..

    Now it's suddenly just happened. And it hurts.
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    (Original post by Katarvi)
    Ready yet for what? To lose the friendship? It doesn't sound like you're ever going to be ready to lose the friendship because to you it isn't just a friendship. You need to firstly realise that you will NEVER DATE THIS GIRL. It will never happen. Ever. Not today, not next week and not in ten ****ing years. The most it can ever be, and even that's a stretch at this point, is a purely platonic friendship, but given your behaviour even that is off the cards now.

    There is literally no wiggle room for you here, you cannot win her over, you simply must move on.
    Yes. I already know I could never be with her. She was my friend. I didn't want it to end this way is such a bad way. I will always regret this.

    I'm struggling to move on.
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    I was in uni all day extremely stressed and upset. And she didn't even turn up to the class. I'm both relieved but also upset.
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    (Original post by believeteam22)
    I am struggling a lot with moving on from the end of my friendship with the girl.

    I haven't done any uni work in 5 days, I am feeling extremely depressed and tearful. I have got chest pain, I am crying, I have no energy, no motivation, I can't even concentrate.

    I am worried about this, I just have 2 months of uni left and I don't want to throw away all my hard work.

    She has totally blocked me from everywhere and said I will never talk to you again.

    I am extremely down and visibly shaken by all of this.

    I emailed my university counselling dept and they said it took take 2-3 weeks to get an appointment due to how busy the service has been during this calendar year.

    I honestly don't have time to mourn over this now, I have too much work to do. But I can't do it, I am struggling to concentrate.

    There were things I needed her help on too and now I can't.

    This is the worst I have ever felt in my life.

    I really wish this didn't happen. Maybe I could have done things differently, maybe I should have not been so clingy and jealous and upset etc. This friendship ended in a bad way and I will always regret this.

    I honestly don't know what to do.
    Right hand/left hand and coco buttah
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    (Original post by believeteam22)
    Yes. I already know I could never be with her. She was my friend. I didn't want it to end this way is such a bad way. I will always regret this.

    I'm struggling to move on.
    You clearly don't because you're still pining over her like a puppy. You were not friends. She liked the male attention and you kept giving it to her because in the back of your mind (whether you like to admit it or not) you always thought there was a chance. That isn't a friendship, that's called false hope. It sucks it ended this way but how else could it have ended? You were hardly going to say goodbye at the end of uni and never text her again, were you? The only way this could end is like this, on her terms.
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    (Original post by whorace)
    She loves the attention. If you ignore her she'll want you more anyway, that's how these attention seeking girls work. Why settle for a parrot that will say whatever you want when you can win the approval of someone who doesn't like you? I must be really good if he gives it to me. It's an approval thing, if you give her approval she'll think there's something wrong with you.



    If you would like evidence to backup what I just said, she can't stand being ignored because she thrives off attention. It's not about you, it's always about her.
    Oh I see what you mean. Damn, I don't want to think of her as an attention seeker. I always see the best in people. That's really messed up if she used me in that way.
 
 
 
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