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How do I get over this girl? watch

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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    Took the words right out of my mouth. He's attempting to use this to open up communication again, hence why he started asking if she was okay etc. He's pathetic and clearly isn't serious about getting over her.

    It actually really pisses me off because, despite everything, I took a lot of time to try and give him good advice, and he's ignoring it because he's so obsessed with this girl.
    True. I am not ready to accept that it's over yet. I need to have one conversation with her in person. Because online talking is not the same. I need some closure otherwise I will never move on.

    Once I've gotten that, I will follow your advice I've already taken a picture of it and put it on my phone. It didn't go to waste don't worry.
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    (Original post by frozen_fire)
    It's another underhanded move and I sincerely hope she doesn't buy into it. I am sick of this self-proclaimed nice guy act from believeteam. Despite making it blindingly obvious she wants no contact, he still has the nerve to pry into her life. Then he turns the situation around and calls her an 'idiot' when she doesn't give him any validation in return.

    Honestly the only way this ends is if she permanently cuts him off at the knees once uni's finished cos he certainly isn't going to be the one to do that himself.
    I hope she doesn't either. She can clearly see his obsessive behaviour and it gets too much for her, so I hope she doesn't change her mind and allow him back so she can get more attention off of him.

    I agree, I think it's pathetic that he's trying to contact her to give her advice on her life despite her blocking him in every way she can think of. He's very immature and clearly has some sort of psychiatric issue stemming from his youth - lack of attention from a motherly figure perhaps?

    (Original post by believeteam22)
    I can't deny this. I was hoping she might see this and say wow the guy still cares about me or something and maybe changes her mind?
    But nonetheless I don't want her to get into trouble.
    Pathetic. You keep talking about how you want to move on, then contacting her in any way you can think of to try to interfere with her life and improve her uni work. Glad she saw right through it.
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    (Original post by sleepysnooze)
    you have to find another girl or at least have a one night stand
    I used to be head over heels for one girl, but looking back, the issue was the fact that she was the only "good" girl I knew so I only had her.
    Maybe. But I'm not ready yet. I'm still grieving this loss. I still quite haven't managed to accept this yet. I need to talk to her in person once tomorrow if I can. Otherwise I won't be able to forget this.
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    (Original post by believeteam22)
    True. I am not ready to accept that it's over yet. I need to have one conversation with her in person. Because online talking is not the same. I need some closure otherwise I will never move on.

    Once I've gotten that, I will follow your advice I've already taken a picture of it and put it on my phone. It didn't go to waste don't worry.
    No you don't. If you talk to her in person then you'll restart all of your obsessive behaviours because you'll give yourself false hope. She's tried to cut all contact with you, so move on and stop pestering her.
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    (Original post by frozen_fire)
    It's another underhanded move and I sincerely hope she doesn't buy into it. I am sick of this self-proclaimed nice guy act from believeteam. Despite making it blindingly obvious she wants no contact, he still has the nerve to pry into her life. Then he turns the situation around and calls her an 'idiot' when she doesn't give him any validation in return.

    Honestly the only way this ends is if she permanently cuts him off at the knees once uni's finished cos he certainly isn't going to be the one to do that himself.
    Actually I simply told her don't tell anyone that someone is doing your work 3 days ago and she said she won't etc. Then since then, no contact. And last night she emailed me and accused me of blackmailing her. Which is just stupid. How am I blackmailing? All I said was don't tell people he is doing your work!!

    Anyway I have to talk to her once in person. I need to clear the air and get some closure otherwise this won't end easily.
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    No you don't. If you talk to her in person then you'll restart all of your obsessive behaviours because you'll give yourself false hope. She's tried to cut all contact with you, so move on and stop pestering her.
    Why is she emailing me then? I didn't email her since 3 days: I stopped. She emailed me and I wish she didn't because I was trying to not think about her as hard as that is
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    (Original post by believeteam22)
    Why is she emailing me then? I didn't email her since 3 days: I stopped. She emailed me and I wish she didn't because I was trying to not think about her as hard as that is
    So you think her emailing you means she's fallen hopelessly in love with you, and she'll break up with her boyfriend and cut ties with this other guy for you?

    No.

    Whatever her reasons for emailing you, she'll never like you. She herself has called you pathetic and immature. Isn't that clear enough for you?
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    (Original post by believeteam22)
    Why is she emailing me then? I didn't email her since 3 days: I stopped. She emailed me and I wish she didn't because I was trying to not think about her as hard as that is
    I just stumbled upon this thread, and I must say - the roast is real. Remember that using absolute statements such as "this guy is immature" and "absolutely pathetic" does nothing to remedy the situation - constructive criticism, not emotion-based criticism, is honestly the only way forward, even if the criticism may (or may not) be called for.

    I'm surprised how quickly you were antagonised by the same people that were supposed to help you. Given what has happened, I think it is best to seek professional help that can truly support you, rather than post on this forum where people will (undoubtedly) judge you for who you are and are honestly just giving their own take on their situation.

    Everyone else - we are here to help him (and her) resolve this, not to publicly humiliate him.
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    You don't need to have one more conversation with her. You want one more conversation with her. But it won't be one more conversation. You'll want another and another. And then you'll never move on.

    She's actually doing you a favour by blocking you and refusing to talk to you.
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    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    You don't need to have one more conversation with her. You want one more conversation with her. But it won't be one more conversation. You'll want another and another. And then you'll never move on.

    She's actually doing you a favour by blocking you and refusing to talk to you.
    As Mary once said: "Why? How can I? The past is the present, isn't it? It's the future, too. We all try to lie out of that but life won't let us."
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    So you think her emailing you means she's fallen hopelessly in love with you, and she'll break up with her boyfriend and cut ties with this other guy for you?

    No.

    Whatever her reasons for emailing you, she'll never like you. She herself has called you pathetic and immature. Isn't that clear enough for you?
    No of course not. I'm saying I had no intention of emailing her. I did 3 days no contact, as much as I was struggling I did not contact her, and then suddenly she emailed me and it made me upset more.

    Tomorrow if I see her I will talk to her. Because I simply don't want this to end in this way. Even if she doesn't change her mind, I will still say what's on my mind.
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    (Original post by amazingusername)
    I just stumbled upon this thread, and I must say - the roast is real. Remember that using absolute statements such as "this guy is immature" and "absolutely pathetic" does nothing to remedy the situation - constructive criticism, not emotion-based criticism, is honestly the only way forward, even if the criticism may (or may not) be called for.

    I'm surprised how quickly you were antagonised by the same people that were supposed to help you. Given what has happened, I think it is best to seek professional help that can truly support you, rather than post on this forum where people will (undoubtedly) judge you for who you are and are honestly just giving their own take on their situation.

    Everyone else - we are here to help him (and her) resolve this, not to publicly humiliate him.
    Read his other threads. We may call him immature and pathetic but these are actually things that she called him. She wants nothing to do with him, and this has been going on for two years. He harassed her so much that she threatened to call the police, and she's blocked him on everything she can think of. We've spent two years giving him advice and he's not taking it. We also advised that he gets professional help, and he refused to do so (see other threads).
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    (Original post by believeteam22)
    No of course not. I'm saying I had no intention of emailing her. I did 3 days no contact, as much as I was struggling I did not contact her, and then suddenly she emailed me and it made me upset more.

    Tomorrow if I see her I will talk to her. Because I simply don't want this to end in this way. Even if she doesn't change her mind, I will still say what's on my mind.
    If you talk to her you will be making things more difficult for yourself. I'm still trying to help you, even though you aren't taking any of it on board. As objective outsiders we can see that talking to her will do you no good, so please take our advice and leave it.
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    Please go to your GP and don't give up on the counselling. You had one session, of course the person was going to be a stranger to you!

    Why do you care if she fails her dissertation? She is not your problem anymore - and never really was, to be quite frank. You're treating this as if it was a breakup; it wasn't a breakup. Friendships come and go and you need to accept that, otherwise you're going to be suffering in self pity for a long time yet.
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    (Original post by amazingusername)
    I just stumbled upon this thread, and I must say - the roast is real. Remember that using absolute statements such as "this guy is immature" and "absolutely pathetic" does nothing to remedy the situation - constructive criticism, not emotion-based criticism, is honestly the only way forward, even if the criticism may (or may not) be called for.

    I'm surprised how quickly you were antagonised by the same people that were supposed to help you. Given what has happened, I think it is best to seek professional help that can truly support you, rather than post on this forum where people will (undoubtedly) judge you for who you are and are honestly just giving their own take on their situation.

    Everyone else - we are here to help him (and her) resolve this, not to publicly humiliate him.
    OK. I did see a professional and it was pointless.

    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    You don't need to have one more conversation with her. You want one more conversation with her. But it won't be one more conversation. You'll want another and another. And then you'll never move on.

    She's actually doing you a favour by blocking you and refusing to talk to you.
    Yes I want to, because it will at least give me some sort of peace of mind that we talked and I said what I needed to say.
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    (Original post by believeteam22)
    I am struggling a lot with moving on from the end of my friendship with the girl.

    I haven't done any uni work in 5 days, I am feeling extremely depressed and tearful. I have got chest pain, I am crying, I have no energy, no motivation, I can't even concentrate.

    I am worried about this, I just have 2 months of uni left and I don't want to throw away all my hard work.

    She has totally blocked me from everywhere and said I will never talk to you again.

    I am extremely down and visibly shaken by all of this.

    I emailed my university counselling dept and they said it took take 2-3 weeks to get an appointment due to how busy the service has been during this calendar year.

    I honestly don't have time to mourn over this now, I have too much work to do. But I can't do it, I am struggling to concentrate.

    There were things I needed her help on too and now I can't.

    This is the worst I have ever felt in my life.

    I really wish this didn't happen. Maybe I could have done things differently, maybe I should have not been so clingy and jealous and upset etc. This friendship ended in a bad way and I will always regret this.

    I honestly don't know what to do.

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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    If you talk to her you will be making things more difficult for yourself. I'm still trying to help you, even though you aren't taking any of it on board. As objective outsiders we can see that talking to her will do you no good, so please take our advice and leave it.
    Well I need to see her face at least and try and understand what's going on. I would feel a lot better if our friendship ended AFTER we finished uni, not just mere few months before I am to finish and have a million different work to do. It was the worst time to happen because it is affecting my ability to do my work.

    I have a feeling she won't come to uni anyway so I probably wouldn't be able to talk. Even if I said to her can we talk, she would say no and walk away.
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    (Original post by Airmed)
    Please go to your GP and don't give up on the counselling. You had one session, of course the person was going to be a stranger to you!

    Why do you care if she fails her dissertation? She is not your problem anymore - and never really was, to be quite frank. You're treating this as if it was a breakup; it wasn't a breakup. Friendships come and go and you need to accept that, otherwise you're going to be suffering in self pity for a long time yet.
    I will go to my GP soon. As for counselling, well, I will see how I do and if I need more.

    Because I helped her a lot throughout the last 3 years and to see that she failed this, well that would make me very sad for her. Even if she doesn't see me as a friend anymore.

    It feels like a breakup of some sort, it wasn't a simple friendship breakup, I mean she was a close friend, I really liked her etc.
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    (Original post by believeteam22)
    Well I need to see her face at least and try and understand what's going on. I would feel a lot better if our friendship ended AFTER we finished uni, not just mere few months before I am to finish and have a million different work to do. It was the worst time to happen because it is affecting my ability to do my work.

    I have a feeling she won't come to uni anyway so I probably wouldn't be able to talk. Even if I said to her can we talk, she would say no and walk away.
    It was never a friendship, but whatever you had finished a long time ago. You need to get your head out of the clouds and accept it for what it is - nothing.

    If she's going to say no and walk away then why even bother? You're just going to hurt yourself even more.
 
 
 
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