No sex before marriage/monogamy? What if you're not sexually compatible? Watch

nk802
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#1
To those of you who don't believe in sex before marriage, or who say that they 'have to be in a committed, monogamous relationship with someone before they have sex', my question to you is what happens if you marry someone or get into a serious relationship with them only to find you're not sexually compatible and that your partner doesn't satisfy your sexual needs?

The notion of 'no sex before marriage' or 'no sex before monogamy' is a disasterous, puritanical concept forced upon us by religion etc that isnt natural and only sets a relationship or marriage up for failure.

Personally, I ALWAYS want to to find out whether I'm sexually compatible with someone BEFORE I commit to anything serious. I'd NEVER get into a serious, exclusive relationship or marry someone without finding out FIRST whether we're sexually compatible.

If you marry someone or get into a serious relationship with them and find they aren't satisfying your sexual needs, you'll either break up with them, get cheated on, or cheat on them with someone who does satisfy you sexually..guaranteed.Or at very least, you'll end up feeling trapped, frustrated and unfulfilled in your relationship.

Think I'm joking and that this doesn't matter? There have been many well documented cases of this happening. Look all around you....it happens all the time in everyday life with a lot of couples.

I actually think that if two people are sexually attracted to each other, they should get sexually intimate as quickly as possible. Why waste time 'getting to know someone' or 'taking it slow' only to find out that in the long run you aren't compatible in the bedroom? Better to find that out early on.

Don't delude yourself into this whole 'no sex before marriage' or 'no sex before monogamy'. It's a falacy and only sets yourself up for failure. Have sex with your partner and see if you're sexually compatible BEFORE you commit to anything exclusive, serious or long-term. I guarantee you'll thank me if you follow this advice.
5
reply
whorace
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#2
Report 3 years ago
#2
Lol at marriage
0
reply
whorace
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#3
Report 3 years ago
#3
(Original post by Bath_Student)
Getting the excuses in early for your forever-alone life?
Marriage is the art of being alone with another person.
0
reply
Just want oreos
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#4
Report 3 years ago
#4
(Original post by nk802)
To those of you who don't believe in sex before marriage, or who say that they 'have to be in a committed, monogamous relationship with someone before they have sex', my question to you is what happens if you marry someone or get into a serious relationship with them only to find you're not sexually compatible and that your partner doesn't satisfy your sexual needs?

The notion of 'no sex before marriage' or 'no sex before monogamy' is a disasterous, puritanical concept forced upon us by religion etc that isnt natural and only sets a relationship or marriage up for failure.

Personally, I ALWAYS want to to find out whether I'm sexually compatible with someone BEFORE I commit to anything serious. I'd NEVER get into a serious, exclusive relationship or marry someone without finding out FIRST whether we're sexually compatible.

If you marry someone or get into a serious relationship with them and find they aren't satisfying your sexual needs, you'll either break up with them, get cheated on, or cheat on them with someone who does satisfy you sexually..guaranteed.Or at very least, you'll end up feeling trapped, frustrated and unfulfilled in your relationship.

Think I'm joking and that this doesn't matter? There have been many well documented cases of this happening. Look all around you....it happens all the time in everyday life with a lot of couples.

I actually think that if two people are sexually attracted to each other, they should get sexually intimate as quickly as possible. Why waste time 'getting to know someone' or 'taking it slow' only to find out that in the long run you aren't compatible in the bedroom? Better to find that out early on.

Don't delude yourself into this whole 'no sex before marriage' or 'no sex before monogamy'. It's a falacy and only sets yourself up for failure. Have sex with your partner and see if you're sexually compatible BEFORE you commit to anything exclusive, serious or long-term. I guarantee you'll thank me if you follow this advice.
i get you
sex seems to be a big deal in a relationship
you kinda wanna make sure its good if ur gonna spend the rest of ur life with that person but at the same time sex shouldn't really matter if you really love them for who they are and not just what they can 'do' for you- I'm in two minds tbh
5
reply
whorace
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#5
Report 3 years ago
#5
(Original post by Just want oreos)
i get you
sex seems to be a big deal in a relationship
you kinda wanna make sure its good if ur gonna spend the rest of ur life with that person but at the same time sex shouldn't really matter if you really love them for who they are and not just what they can 'do' for you- I'm in two minds tbh
All relationships are based on exchange, would Juliet like Romeo if his breath was smelly? True love is a fad, and that's a good thing, if it wasn't there would be no reason for one person to pick one over the other.
0
reply
Just want oreos
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#6
Report 3 years ago
#6
(Original post by whorace)
All relationships are based on exchange, would Juliet like Romeo if his breath was smelly? True love is a fad, and that's a good thing, if it wasn't there would be no reason for one person to pick one over the other.
by 'do' i meant it only in terms of like a sexual exchange
0
reply
Blondie987
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#7
Report 3 years ago
#7
(Original post by whorace)
Marriage is the art of being alone with another person.
You're just a hopeless romantic aren't ya
0
reply
Blondie987
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#8
Report 3 years ago
#8
I don't need to be in a long term committed relationship with someone before doing so but I'm just not into a ons, to each their own but I'd rather be with someone I trust and know well enough before
0
reply
whorace
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#9
Report 3 years ago
#9
(Original post by Blondie987)
You're just a hopeless romantic aren't ya
Sure, we can have lunch by a waterfall in the dark with good music, but let's not commit ourselves to a life of boredom.
0
reply
nk802
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#10
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#10
(Original post by Blondie987)
I don't need to be in a long term committed relationship with someone before doing so but I'm just not into a ons, to each their own but I'd rather be with someone I trust and know well enough before
Just because you have sex with someone shortly after meeting them or before committing to marriage or monogamy doesn't mean it's a one night stand. And there's nothing wrong with one night stands either if that's what someone is looking for and you're both on the same page.
1
reply
Blondie987
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#11
Report 3 years ago
#11
(Original post by whorace)
Sure, we can have lunch by a waterfall in the dark with good music, but let's not commit ourselves to a life of boredom.
So even if you found the most wonderful girl in all the world whom you fell deeply, madly in love with you would describe a life with her as boring?
0
reply
Blondie987
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#12
Report 3 years ago
#12
(Original post by nk802)
Just because you have sex with someone shortly after meeting them or before committing to marriage or monogamy doesn't mean it's a one night stand. And there's nothing wrong with one night stands either if that's what someone is looking for and you're both on the same page.
At no point did I ever say there is anything wrong with a ons, it's just personal preference and I was just using it as an example as different people have different attitudes and that just happens to be the opposite of mine
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#13
Report 3 years ago
#13
I've heard this argument quite a few times, but I'm not sure that sexual incompatibility really even exists tbh. If it does, it's not something I've ever experienced!

Having said that, sex in relationships has always been better for me when both myself and the other party have been fairly well experienced. In particular I know that the confidence, self-awareness and knowledge gained from having a decent amount of sexual experience (with more than one person too) really improves things. So personally I would never marry a virgin, and wouldn't recommend it.
0
reply
whorace
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#14
Report 3 years ago
#14
(Original post by Blondie987)
So even if you found the most wonderful girl in all the world whom you fell deeply, madly in love with you would describe a life with her as boring?
It'd be great for a while, and then as always two people drift due to experiences, I never said I wouldn't share my life with her, I just don't want to be blinded by false commitments which are broken the moment they become inconvenient.
0
reply
user73867
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#15
Report 3 years ago
#15
Sexual compatibility. What does this ******** phrase even mean?

Does it mean finding out if you're going to enjoy having sex with the person you love?


Surely the answer should be fairly obvious even for someone as dull as yourself.


SS
3
reply
Blondie987
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#16
Report 3 years ago
#16
(Original post by whorace)
It'd be great for a while, and then as always two people drift due to experiences, I never said I wouldn't share my life with her, I just don't want to be blinded by false commitments which are broken the moment they become inconvenient.
Well fair enough, I'm sure you will find that special someone though
0
reply
dean01234
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#17
Report 3 years ago
#17
(Original post by whorace)
True love is a fad, and that's a good thing, if it wasn't there would be no reason for one person to pick one over the other.
I don't disagree with the sentiment but what you've said doesn't really make sense. In the end part your hypothetical true love world is still working under the assumption that true love isn't real.

If true love was real you wouldn't need to pick people, your destinies would intertwine and you'd make eye contact across the crowded room and spend the rest of your life together. You wouldn't be together because of logic but because of a fundamental belief that you're meant to be together. But I think that kind of highlights the insanity of the whole thing really.

Though on topic: I think that some people might be able to make no sex before marriage work, I think in the vast majority of cases people need to find out about comparability long before the wedding.
0
reply
nk802
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#18
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#18
(Original post by Anonymous)
I've heard this argument quite a few times, but I'm not sure that sexual incompatibility really even exists tbh. If it does, it's not something I've ever experienced!
Sexually incompatibility DOES exist!

To determine whether a couple are sexually compatible, it usually boils down to the following:

1. Do you have similar labidos, i.e. do want to have sex as often as each other? It's no good if one partner wants sex 3 times a week, whereas the other one wants sex once a fortnight.

2. Are you into similar things sexually? I mean, if one partner likes straight up, vanilla, non-adventuorus, non-experimental sex, whereas the other wants to try new, exciting things and experiment, well it's not going to work.

3. Does your partner give you orgasms? This applies more to women than men, as most men can orgasm easily, but female orgasm is more individual and more complicated.
0
reply
nk802
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#19
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#19
(Original post by Supersaps)
Sexual compatibility. What does this ******** phrase even mean?
See my previous reply.
0
reply
XxKingSniprxX
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#20
Report 3 years ago
#20
All kinds of....

https://45.media.tumblr.com/b7a19115...c7c8o1_500.gif
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

People at uni: do initiations (like heavy drinking) put you off joining sports societies?

Yes (364)
67.03%
No (179)
32.97%

Watched Threads

View All