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    #1

    Hi everyone,

    Basically I am a 20year old first year student at uni, about to turn 21. I haven't had the best introduction to further education, as I left school at 18 into a course/uni I hated and withdrew. I worked ridiculously hard for 1.5 years at home to get into a course I loved at the best uni in the country for it, and was successfully chosen after applying. However, the class is very small and divided into a couple of "groups" the quieter, chilled ones, and the more outgoing lot. I've always tried to integrate with everyone and project myself positively. I'm outgoing, and like nights out, but as I'm a bit older and been clubbing since I was 17 I'm getting to the stage where I want to meet genuine life long friends who's company I actually enjoy and connect with. The more outgoing group in our class are OK individually, but together I feel like I'm tolerating a bunch of school kids. They're judgemental, comment on people's looks, push each other over and laugh at the littlest things. Also if I chose work over the club, they will tend to huddle together and not acknowledge me. I feel pathetic for exhausting myself with trying to fit in with younger people, but I feel rather lonely not having anyone with the same priorities/on the same wavelength as me. I'm part of a club and they are an amazing bunch, but they all have their own flatmates and uni friends that they've luckily been given. My flat is so quiet and although I've tried making friends with the people, no one leaves their rooms. I'm feeling excruciatingly lonely and that I'm losing my sense of self to fit in. I'm usually full of laughter and enjoy banter, but with good people. Am I being a people pleaser? Trying too hard out of loneliness?

    Thanks
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    Join a society?
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    I felt like this in college and I was the same age as them.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    The thing is my course is pretty demanding, and I'm part of a sports team as it is. So I feel like I'm burning out already.
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    Don't try to fit in. Just be yourself, and you'll find yourself drifting towards decent people naturally. Joining societies is a good idea, and in no way a major commitment: Quite apart from the course (almost certainly no less demanding than yours) and my other actual commitments, I'm a member of a handful of societies that I just turn up to every so often when I've got time. Doing more not-your-degree stuff (within reason) will help to avoid burnout, not make it worse.
 
 
 
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