I have been with my boyfriend for about a year now, we get on so well and have a lot in common and he is genuinely the kindest, sweetest, most loving person in the world who would do anything for me! I've never had someone love me this much. But for the past few weeks I feel as though i've been falling out of love with him, for no reason. I have found myself wanting to be by myself and starting to feel quite bored and suffocated with the relationship. Part of me is saying break up with him but the other part of me feels like I will regret it and that I won't be able to find someone like him again, we've invested so much in one another and have already made so many plans made for summer.
I just don't know what to do, I feel terrible and guilty for feeling like this.
If I was to break up with him it would destroy him, and I can't bear to hurt him like that - I care about him a lot. But on the other hand, I don't feel like it's fair on him to have these feelings that he doesn't know about.
I feel so resentful towards him at times. He's very smart, and he talks about how well he's doing all the time- which makes me feel very inferior. I am the sort of person that only ever achieves average results no matter how hard I work. He just has the perfect life, and everything is so perfect for him. He's also from a very well off family - the complete opposite to mine, which makes me feel quite uncomfortable! His family have set up a trust fund for him which pays for everything (uni, masters degree, rent, food, travelling, various holidays etc etc), whereas I can barely afford to eat at uni.
I don't know whether it's these feelings of resentment which are causing me to fall out of love, or whether we're just not right for one another.
I just don't know what to do and I feel absolutely terrible.
Has anyone been in a situation like this? What should I do? Stay with him and see if it works out, or just break up? I've never felt so conflicted and guilty
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- Thread Starter
- 05-03-2016 14:56
- 05-03-2016 15:36
It does seem like it might be resentment for him having what you perceive to be the 'perfect' life. As with any relationship, communication is vital. Talk to him and explain that you feel like you aren't good enough because of how well he's doing - if he cares about you then he'll encourage you and help you to achieve more. You don't need to tell him you're jealous but you could politely ask him to tone down how much he talks about his achievements. Jealousy is natural but you need to try to be happy for him - he is your boyfriend, after all.
However it seems as if some of the reasons you're jealous can be changed; you may never have a trust fund for you to get by at uni but you can get a part time job, plus if you're from a low income family there are grants and bursaries automatically given by the uni and the government (I've got well over £6,000 in grants due to my background and my income!!). You can also do tonnes of wider reading for your essays so that they'll stand out and be worth more marks. So you can definitely change some of it, you just need to put in more effort than he does.