Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Domestic Violence in South Asian culture Watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/story/32...nly-his-slave/


    Sick and tired of hearing such stories. Ngl I've seen some of this happening excluding the physical element. South Asian culture and its sexist and inhumane norms.

    What I hate is that many South Asian women who face such abuse are brought up to believe that once you're married, you can't do anything even if that means your husband mentally, physically and emotionally scars you as it would lead to divorce, hence causing social stigma for the family. Even worse is when I see these women actually taking up this ridiculous advice and tolerating such men. Seriously, to all women, regardless of their cultural background, please understand this thing that YOU ARE A HUMAN. You do not deserve someone who emotionally, physically and mentally treats you like you're not even a human. Know your rights!

    To my desi girls on tsr, I know many of you understand this and know your rights, however, I'm also well-aware of the fact that our desi families can be extremely controlling. I genuinely want you girls to know that your life is worth more than just living a life controlled by your narrow minded parents. Its seems hard to stand up for yourself? HELL YES! IS there any other way? HELL NO! There is no other way but to stand up for yourself. Believe in yourself. Know your worth.

    You only live once and live it the way you want to, not by being controlled and oppressed.

    I love you all, girls and I know we can do better than this. This may sound like a mental feminist to some of you but HELL NO...I know how oppressive South Asian parents can be.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BrokenLife)
    http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/story/32...nly-his-slave/


    Sick and tired of hearing such stories. Ngl I've seen some of this happening excluding the physical element. South Asian culture and its sexist and inhumane norms.

    What I hate is that many South Asian women who face such abuse are brought up to believe that once you're married, you can't do anything even if that means your husband mentally, physically and emotionally scars you as it would lead to divorce, hence causing social stigma for the family. Even worse is when I see these women actually taking up this ridiculous advice and tolerating such men. Seriously, to all women, regardless of their cultural background, please understand this thing that YOU ARE A HUMAN. You do not deserve someone who emotionally, physically and mentally treats you like you're not even a human. Know your rights!

    To my desi girls on tsr, I know many of you understand this and know your rights, however, I'm also well-aware of the fact that our desi families can be extremely controlling. I genuinely want you girls to know that your life is worth more than just living a life controlled by your narrow minded parents. Its seems hard to stand up for yourself? HELL YES! IS there any other way? HELL NO! There is no other way but to stand up for yourself. Believe in yourself. Know your worth.

    You only live once and live it the way you want to, not by being controlled and oppressed.

    I love you all, girls and I know we can do better than this. This may sound like a mental feminist to some of you but HELL NO...I know how oppressive South Asian parents can be.
    Excellent post Noori! :hugs:
    I couldn't agree more with you xxx
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Why is he getting married if he is going to treat his wife like that :confused:
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by hihihihihi)
    Why is he getting married if he is going to treat his wife like that :confused:
    Because he does not want a wife, he wants a slave just like he treated her.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Eternalflames)
    Excellent post Noori! :hugs:
    I couldn't agree more with you xxx
    Seriously, this is one massive issue that our community needs to get rid of!
    (Original post by hihihihihi)
    Why is he getting married if he is going to treat his wife like that :confused:
    Sexist minds, patriarchal culture. They think of wife as a slave. Absolutely disgusting.
    • Political Ambassador
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Political Ambassador
    Goodness, that's just awful! :eek: Got feel sorry for her

    I'd certainly encourage girls from Asian (and other) backgrounds to stand up to any kind of oppression, no matter how insignificant it may seem at the time. It's often the case that one thing leads to another
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BrokenLife)
    Seriously, this is one massive issue that our community needs to get rid of!
    I think that they definitely think too much about what other people would say, 'honour' and family pride, stuff like that. So even if a woman is a victim of abuse she'll say nothing and just endure it because 'it would look bad' if she left.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Eternalflames)
    I think that they definitely think too much about what other people would say, 'honour' and family pride, stuff like that. So even if a woman is a victim of abuse she'll say nothing and just endure it because 'it would look bad' if she left.
    Absolutely! This shows that there is something massively wrong in our culture or at least the way our people think. How can the idea of 'honour' for social status be more important than your children's happiness!?
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TheArtofProtest)
    I thought in Islam, or at least Muslim cultures, the usual "dowry rules" are reversed in the sense that it is the man who must give a dowry to the bride and pay for her upkeep?
    Oh that's called 'Mahr' but the dowry in this case is a purely cultural aspect called 'jahez' in Urdu. This is when the parents of the bride give stuff or dowry to their daughter as a gift but its purely cultural. People have misused this whole concept of cultural dowry in a very ridiculous way by putting pressure on the bride's side to give certain stuff to the groom when its meant to be for the bride.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TheArtofProtest)
    Sounds great.

    Where do I get a Pakistani girl from? Is there like some mail order form that I fill out or something?
    Don't be ridiculous.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TheArtofProtest)
    Sounds great.

    Where do I get a Pakistani girl from? Is there like some mail order form that I fill out or something?
    Not funny
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TheArtofProtest)
    Sounds great.

    Where do I get a Pakistani girl from? Is there like some mail order form that I fill out or something?
    Yeah, it works like an Avon catalogue, just make a note of the page number and your shade preference. No ****ing about.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Makes me really grateful that my family is not like this (I'm South Asian as well).
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Sorry, can't help you.


    Offline

    17
    Brilliant post.

    I've seen way too many cases of women, especially those from 'back home', being brought here and having all the aspects of their lives controlled by their husbands and in laws. It's disgusting.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Serine Soul)
    Brilliant post.

    I've seen way too many cases of women, especially those from 'back home', being brought here and having all the aspects of their lives controlled by their husbands and in laws. It's disgusting.
    There are even cases when the families of the women themselves don't care, or at least choose to ignore it, so these women have nobody to turn to. I really don't know why this still happens.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Serine Soul)
    Brilliant post.

    I've seen way too many cases of women, especially those from 'back home', being brought here and having all the aspects of their lives controlled by their husbands and in laws. It's disgusting.
    Absolutely! I agree with this. I acknowledge that what such sexist people do due to the culture is wrong but what worries me is the lack of awareness these women have about their rights. I know some British Asian women too who compromise on such issues. Its considered as good when really its disgusting!

    (Original post by TheArtofProtest)
    'Twas the wrong thread to make jokes.

    I got that.

    :sorry:
    Spoiler:
    Show
    But seriously, my post belied an important point in that where do these men pick these women from?

    Reading the article, it looked like an arranged marriage and the bride came over from Pakistan and expenses must have been incurred in doing so.

    I'm not saying that is even an excuse (Don't jump on me for saying that!) for such behaviour but maybe the husband wants to "recoup" the money that he may have "lost" in the event that it doesn't work out.
    Mainly from Pakistan but some cases exist here in the UK too.

    (Original post by TheOtherSide.)
    There are even cases when the families of the women themselves don't care, or at least choose to ignore it, so these women have nobody to turn to. I really don't know why this still happens.
    That is so true and I've seen 2 cases of this sort. My issue is that 'no one to turn to' is not an excuse. You have to stand up for yourself. No one will stand up for you. Women have a lot mental power if only we believe in ourselves. These women lack self confidence and end up thinking they have no one to turn to. Yes, that's true that there aren't many organisation in country like Pakistan to help these women but even if they were, they wouldn't ask for help due to social pressure and stigmas. Now that is worrying!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Josb)
    Sorry, can't help you.


    You can campaign against less serious issues and still support the serious issues.





    moron.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by greatguy261)
    You can campaign against less serious issues and still support the serious issues.





    moron.
    Page Three is an "issue"?

    I'd like to know what these SJWs have done for the serious issue told in OP.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BrokenLife)
    http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/story/32...nly-his-slave/


    Sick and tired of hearing such stories. Ngl I've seen some of this happening excluding the physical element. South Asian culture and its sexist and inhumane norms.

    What I hate is that many South Asian women who face such abuse are brought up to believe that once you're married, you can't do anything even if that means your husband mentally, physically and emotionally scars you as it would lead to divorce, hence causing social stigma for the family. Even worse is when I see these women actually taking up this ridiculous advice and tolerating such men. Seriously, to all women, regardless of their cultural background, please understand this thing that YOU ARE A HUMAN. You do not deserve someone who emotionally, physically and mentally treats you like you're not even a human. Know your rights!

    To my desi girls on tsr, I know many of you understand this and know your rights, however, I'm also well-aware of the fact that our desi families can be extremely controlling. I genuinely want you girls to know that your life is worth more than just living a life controlled by your narrow minded parents. Its seems hard to stand up for yourself? HELL YES! IS there any other way? HELL NO! There is no other way but to stand up for yourself. Believe in yourself. Know your worth.

    You only live once and live it the way you want to, not by being controlled and oppressed.

    I love you all, girls and I know we can do better than this. This may sound like a mental feminist to some of you but HELL NO...I know how oppressive South Asian parents can be.
    Wow broken life this is an amazing and powerful post and I'm so proud of you for writing this up and not just linking the article.

    The women indeed need to stand up for themselves but the men also need to quit the oppression- both need to happen in tandem but arguably women ceasing taking **** lying down will ultimately progress the situation.

    Ly :hugs:
 
 
 
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Would you like to hibernate through the winter months?
    Useful resources
    AtCTs

    Ask the Community Team

    Got a question about the site content or our moderation? Ask here.

    Welcome Lounge

    Welcome Lounge

    We're a friendly bunch. Post here if you're new to TSR.

    Groups associated with this forum:

    View associated groups
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.