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Domestic Violence in South Asian culture Watch

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    My mother (who is Pakistani) used to run a local support group for other Pakistani women who have suffered domestic abuse at the hands of their husbands. A lot of them had very poor English, and didn't/weren't allowed to integrate with the rest of society.

    It's sad but there really is a large community of Asian women living in the UK that suffer in silence.
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    (Original post by BrokenLife)
    http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/story/32...nly-his-slave/


    Sick and tired of hearing such stories. Ngl I've seen some of this happening excluding the physical element. South Asian culture and its sexist and inhumane norms.

    What I hate is that many South Asian women who face such abuse are brought up to believe that once you're married, you can't do anything even if that means your husband mentally, physically and emotionally scars you as it would lead to divorce, hence causing social stigma for the family. Even worse is when I see these women actually taking up this ridiculous advice and tolerating such men. Seriously, to all women, regardless of their cultural background, please understand this thing that YOU ARE A HUMAN. You do not deserve someone who emotionally, physically and mentally treats you like you're not even a human. Know your rights!

    To my desi girls on tsr, I know many of you understand this and know your rights, however, I'm also well-aware of the fact that our desi families can be extremely controlling. I genuinely want you girls to know that your life is worth more than just living a life controlled by your narrow minded parents. Its seems hard to stand up for yourself? HELL YES! IS there any other way? HELL NO! There is no other way but to stand up for yourself. Believe in yourself. Know your worth.

    You only live once and live it the way you want to, not by being controlled and oppressed.

    I love you all, girls and I know we can do better than this. This may sound like a mental feminist to some of you but HELL NO...I know how oppressive South Asian parents can be.
    like when girls aren't allowed to move out for uni and boys are smh
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    (Original post by SAhm95)
    i hate south asian people
    Not sure whether that would be right to say. I'd rather say that I hate the sexist and racist aspect of South Asian culture.

    (Original post by MevMev)
    like when girls aren't allowed to move out for uni and boys are smh
    True. However, I moved out although my father is a proper desi man with extremely sexist views. What I'm trying to say is you need to free yourself from such attitudes and stand up for your rights which many South Asian women are afraid to do. Its understandable as the social pressure is a lot , also these men are extremely controlling but we gotta start from somewhere.
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    I don't think I can add anything worthy to what you've already said - in fact, I don't think it's my place to - but I admire and love you so much, BL.

    This is a post I think a lot of people could do with hearing and it's just another reason why I really respect you.

    You have done, are and are going to do great things, BL. :hugs:
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    (Original post by Josb)
    Sorry, can't help you.


    Using a thread like this to make a snarky remark about feminism seems entirely appropriate.
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    (Original post by acupofgreentea)
    I don't think I can add anything worthy to what you've already said - in fact, I don't think it's my place to - but I admire and love you so much, BL.

    This is a post I think a lot of people could do with hearing and it's just another reason why I really respect you.

    You have done, are and are going to do great things, BL. :hugs:
    Aww omg you're so nice, Tea! Seriously, I've done nothing. These things really do bother me a lot. Thanks for your kind words. I seriously love you too, tea! You are one amazing person. Much respect.
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    (Original post by Josb)
    Sorry, can't help you.


    What exactly is the point you're trying to make here? Just because worse things happen to some women, we should ignore our smaller problems? I think it is obvious that the domestic violence issue, and the issue of women being presented as sex objects in a national newspaper, are two issues which can be tackled simultaneously.

    Oh, by the way, I am a woman from a third world country (India), and yes, we care about some of these incorrectly labeled 'first world problems' too.
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    (Original post by -starlight-)
    What exactly is the point you're trying to make here? Just because worse things happen to some women, we should ignore our smaller problems? I think it is obvious that the domestic violence issue, and the issue of women being presented as sex objects in a national newspaper, are two issues which can be tackled simultaneously.

    Oh, by the way, I am a woman from a third world country (India), and yes, we care about some of these incorrectly labeled 'first world problems' too.
    I am implying that what OP mentions is a real problem that should be much more talked about, especially by feminists, instead of making pointless campaigns about non-issues. These useless campaigns nonetheless captivate most of media attention and serious issues are being ignored as a result, probably because it is less politically incorrect to complain about a newspaper than criticizing certain inferior cultures.

    For the "women being presented as sex objects" part, what about this:
    Name:  cosmo.jpg
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    (Original post by hihihihihi)
    Why is he getting married if he is going to treat his wife like that :confused:
    Because he knows once a 'legally' binding contract is signed, in whatever cultural laws, he can do as he wishes under that particular law.
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    (Original post by Josb)
    I am implying that what OP mentions is a real problem that should be much more talked about, especially by feminists, instead of making pointless campaigns about non-issues. These useless campaigns nonetheless captivate most of media attention and serious issues are being ignored as a result, probably because it is less politically incorrect to complain about a newspaper than criticizing certain inferior cultures.

    For the "women being presented as sex objects" part, what about this:
    Name:  cosmo.jpg
Views: 77
Size:  254.7 KB
    Sorry for my late reply - I don't use this forum much.

    If you're implying that men are objectified to the same extent that women are, I think you're very ignorant. My personal opinion is that no person should be treated as a sex object, but in most cultures, a woman's physical appearance is regarded as her most important attribute. This is obvious. So, I think it's silly to dismiss Page 3 as a 'non-issue' when that partly contributes to this focus on a woman's appearance over her character.

    I don't think criticizing Page 3 over inferior cultures (e.g. my own in India) is about political correctness. You want to believe this because it further reinforces your anti-feminist attitudes. These English feminists are simply criticizing something that affects them - an issue they understand - as opposed to an issue they have no experience of. Perhaps, you could also think about discussing issues you understand instead of contributing these patronizing opinions to this thread topic?
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    (Original post by SAhm95)
    i hate south asian people
    Why hate them?
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    (Original post by Min7)
    Why hate them?
    OK, I think you are upset. I am too. I am an educated woman. It upsets me a lot.
    But there is no voice for Asian hostility to women. Why not speak together?
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    (Original post by Min7)
    Why hate them?
    There's too much controversy with south asian culture which is why they will always be at the bottom, in all aspects of life.
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    My mum works for the charity Karma Nivarna in order to help women in the Asian community with issues such as forced marriage and domestic violence. At the minute she's helping the charity to push the government to raise the public profile, unfortunately the Labour Party is refusing to cooperate as their view is 'to suggest that there is a problem in the Asian community is incredibly racist'. So it seems like nothing will be done to combat these issues for a while now.
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    (Original post by SAhm95)
    There's too much controversy with south asian culture which is why they will always be at the bottom, in all aspects of life.
    Only strong women can change this. The problem is not to be angry or submissive.
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    It is a transaction. They see it as the best options they have no other. It is very sad, but there have been some divorce cases and success stories. The question is though that what would happen if they don't marry? They would be seen as a disappointment to their family!
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    Stories like this are like an exaggerated illustration on why I hate my ethnicity and the culture my parents want to cling to so much. It's also why I do not want to indulge any further in building a good south asian identity and just be myself, whether my family likes it or not.
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    (Original post by MissionClunge)
    I'd much rather have a bit of domestic violence than become like kaffir filth and their step parents, multiple parents, divorce, 'new partners', single teen mother etc....
    are u justifying domestic violence?
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    (Original post by MissionClunge)
    The nuclear family is the bedrock of society. We all have our various roles in the community, the role of the man is that of breadwinner and the woman generally is the homemaker/child rearer (ok some woman can go and do careers, but essentially that is the foundation of society since time immemorial). If a woman in any undermines this through an affair, sloppiness, excessive spending, choosing the western path then what choice do you have other than a knee to the groin. I'd much rather have a bit of domestic violence than become like kaffir filth and their step parents, multiple parents, divorce, 'new partners', single teen mother etc...The conventional familly has to be preserved, dont forget as a woman part of your contractual obligation in the marriage is to essentially serve your inlaws family. I know it sounds cruel that they are effectively the in-laws property but thats how it is. In exchange for being chaffeured around, having a home, handbag, shoes, the woman has certain obligations to fulfil and yes there should be physical repercussions if these aren't met.
    This entire paragraph is just wrong.
    In case, you've been living in a cave for the past couple of centuries, a 'nuclear family' is no longer the 'bedrock to society'. People derive from all types of families, the conventional family does not need to be conserved, many single parents are able to raise their children without a partner.
    The man is the breadwinner, don't make laugh.'Handbag, shoes' such disgusting stereotypical views
    'If a woman in any undermines this' Why are you only implying that a women would somehow mess up the family? Men are just as capable
    of doing so.
    'I'd much rather have a bit of domestic violence' 'yes there should be physical repercussions if these aren't met' I don't know what type of role models or environment you were brought up in but domestic violence cannot be justified.

    Unfortunately, many Southern Asian do accept that they are their husband's/in-law's property however modern Southern Asian boys and girls should not be accepting these outdated views. What they should be taught is that they are their own individuals, they can lead their own lives and that they should especially not be treated like **** by their family, husband or in laws.

    I don't know why you have these traditional, outdated and disgusting views but I hope that you won't ever be able to infect the minds of others.
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    (Original post by BrokenLife)
    Not sure whether that would be right to say. I'd rather say that I hate the sexist and racist aspect of South Asian culture.


    True. However, I moved out although my father is a proper desi man with extremely sexist views. What I'm trying to say is you need to free yourself from such attitudes and stand up for your rights which many South Asian women are afraid to do. Its understandable as the social pressure is a lot , also these men are extremely controlling but we gotta start from somewhere.
    How were you able to move out?
 
 
 
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