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    Hey so this guy and I work together at a school. We've been seeing seeing each other for 4 months, officially in a relationship for 2 months. Our relationship is good, we've both met all of each other friend's outside of work.

    However, he doesn't want our co workers to know because he doesn't want this to get back to our students, who would gossip horrendously. Now I completely understand that since it would make it really awkward, but I don't think that telling our say, 10 closest friends, would make it go back to the students. And it would make it so much easier for me if I could not lie to half my friends at work.

    I've only mentioned this once to him that I don't like keeping it a secret, when he said he doesn't want the students to find out. So it's not like I've been saying this for ages.

    But now it's getting silly and we have to sneak around to go back to his after we all leave the pub on a Friday, and I can't for example tell some people what I'm doing this weekend.

    Any advice? He's been at this school for much longer than me and he's quite a private person, but it's not like I'd be spreading anything secret about him. We'd just both leave the pub together on a Friday to go back to his, or tell our friends we're planning on going out for dinner during the weekend or something.

    TLDR; boyfriend doesn't want work to know about us
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    maybe compromise by only telling a few of the closest and then when he sees they wont tell students he might be more comfortable when you tell the rest? I can understand if hes a private person but it sounds like the students finding out is just an excuse as teachers shouldn't be gossiping to students anyway. maybe hes just afraid of letting everyone know until you two are in more of a stable long relationship (say 6 months for example) because he doesn't want people nosing into his business if you two happen to break up
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    (Original post by PinkAcid)
    maybe compromise by only telling a few of the closest and then when he sees they wont tell students he might be more comfortable when you tell the rest? I can understand if hes a private person but it sounds like the students finding out is just an excuse as teachers shouldn't be gossiping to students anyway. maybe hes just afraid of letting everyone know until you two are in more of a stable long relationship (say 6 months for example) because he doesn't want people nosing into his business if you two happen to break up
    Pink Acid is right, he probably wants it to see how the relationship pans out over a longer period of time.
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by PinkAcid)
    maybe compromise by only telling a few of the closest and then when he sees they wont tell students he might be more comfortable when you tell the rest? I can understand if hes a private person but it sounds like the students finding out is just an excuse as teachers shouldn't be gossiping to students anyway. maybe hes just afraid of letting everyone know until you two are in more of a stable long relationship (say 6 months for example) because he doesn't want people nosing into his business if you two happen to break up
    (Original post by thegohst)
    Pink Acid is right, he probably wants it to see how the relationship pans out over a longer period of time.
    And I do understand that. Do you think it would be better for me to tell him how I feel about this, and say, that in a few weeks/months time I do want us to tell our friends because it's making me uncomfortable? Or do I just see how it goes for more time and not bring it up?

    And also 4 of our close friends have guessed, and when they just came out and asked me "are you and ___ together" I couldn't lie so told them, but still no other details. But I haven't told my boyfriend. Should I?
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    Yes tell him that some of your close friends have already guessed your together and tell him that you'd like to tell others about your relationship in a few months.
 
 
 
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