The Student Room Group

How to woo someone (back)

So, 2 weeks ago me and my boyfriend broke up. He dumped me, and i pretty much knew it was coming and it was pretty deserved
We both have exams coming up, and when he gets stressed he just goes into himself and doesnt want to talk to people/gets very moody.. whereas I look to other people, which meant I was looking to him, which pissed him off, which pissed me off and the cycle was going round until we just hit breaking point.
He told me originally he wanted to go on a break until summer, but not convinced he was actually telling me the truth I sat him down and spoke to him and we talked for ages and he just said that hes not in the right place for a relationship at the moment, but he does still have "some feelings for me" and he does like me, but he cant think further than exams to say what will happen in the future, and he basically said never say never and just see what happens later.

He was pretty responsive talking about things happening again between us

Now. I really really like this guy, and to be honest I think he still likes me. Im giving him plenty of space at the moment, and so after exams i want to come back into his life enough for him to be like "damn i missed this girl" but not so much that hes like arghhh shes anoying me again.

So how do I woo him back? Hes got 2 weeks at the end of study leave..so either I do it then, or I wait till waaay into the summer. But if we're getting back I wouldnt mind doing it before his bday (july)

Any suggestions as to how I can do this?

Thanks

X
Stay away and act cool and collected. Don't be pandering to his every need, that'll only piss him off more. :smile:
Reply 2
Just give him what he wants, give him enough time and space to deal with the upcoming and exams and take things from there. Once he is back to his old self, wanting to come out from inside himself and look towards other people, if you are still interested make your move then. Keep in mind the kind of person he is though to avoid future problems. He needs to be given space by his partners, and you need to respect that. Please, also keep in mind that things might not work out the way that you expect or want. But for the time being, give him space, give him time and get on with your own life too, have a bit of fun, relax.

I hope things work out for you... :smile:
Reply 3
We also realised the biggest mistake we made was not being friends first, we pretty much just jumped into it. And I hope I do get a second chance so that I can go into it with the power of hindsight to know what I should not do again.

Its just got to get to that point where we're not in a group, or we're left alone, and theres that moment when your talking and then you just kinda look at each other and know its going to happen.

If I've given him over a months space, would it be stupid to text him and ask if he wants to hang out some time? Actually thinking about it that gives him the scope not to text back. So id do it next time i see him ill see if he wants to cotch sometime.

Complicated!
Reply 4
Of course it wouldn't be stupid, you should make an effort to spend time with him, do what you missed out on last time and be friends. First of all, before jumping straight right into a relationship hang out with friends, hang out alone together and build your friendship up. Get to know each other better and see where it goes from there, there is no harm in trying is there?

There's no harm in the odd phone call or the odd text asking to catch up, it wont do any harm to just ask him. You'll have a lot to talk about if you two are having a bit of a break from talking, plus the stress of exams will be gone by then so it will be nice to get back out there and have fun. I'm sure he wouldn't refuse if he meant what he said, it would just be a matter of finding a time when you're both free.
Reply 5
I like your thinking! I'm just going to let him get back on his feet after exams, same with all his other friends who i was besties with but now they are a bit distant...and I reckon it all is because of exams. Girls have the sense to work hard all through the year, boys just have to put a panic spurt on at the end so dont have time for others haha. But thats ok, im gunna plan my moves now so that in summer i dont get panicked and do something stupid.

:]
Reply 6
sounds like my situation too. its driving me crazy as i can sense he still likes me but he does just as your bf does and panics around exam time. The only difference is that we're like best friends. I dont know sometimes whether he just likes me as a best friend or likes me more. Have been giving him space up until recently but then we're back being really close and i dont know what to do. Il probably wait till after exams and see what happens.

good luck whatever happens :smile:
Reply 7
Well, if you are all becoming distant then arrange for everyone to meet as a group, including this guy. Gives you all a chance to catch up together and to make plans with each other a group, or you and this guy later on down the line. You'll build up your friendship with this guy, and have a chance to meet up with your other friends too.

Exams are horrible things, everyone deals with them differently. There's nothing better than going out with your friends to celebrate when they're all done :p:
Reply 8
You can't "woo" anyone back, once they are gone they are usually gone forever. They will never love you the same again, so the best thing to do is move on. I know it's hard, but you will find someone new :smile:
To be honest, I think you are better off without him. If he can chuck you over his exams, I hate to say this but he doesn't really like you that much. As stressed and panic stricken as I have got over my exams, dumping my boyfriend has never been an option.
If he is dumping you over his exams this year, what about his exams next year or heaven forbid - when he goes into the real world?
There are a lot of other stresses than just exam.
I think you should jsut leave him well alone and find someone who appreciates what obviosuly was concern for his feelings and someone who isn't going to leave at the first sign of pressure in their lives.
All the best
xx
Reply 10
I don't think you should listen to the last couple of people who have commented here. I remember doing my a-levels and being so stressed and worried that i just didn't have time for anything or anyone else, or at least not for the amount of time and attention i was expected to give my boyfriend. And I still panic before every exam period. So I don't think it's that your boyfriend doesn't want to be with you, he just feels he has to put the relationship on hold for a little while to give himself time and space to panic, stress, and work!

Just be laid-back about it, give him space, be pleased to see him without being clingy, and be confident and show him what he's been missing. You'll get him back :smile: