Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Sorry for anon!

    So, this guy and I that I met on an offer holders group have been messaging A LOT - we're on the same relatively small course at the same uni, have practically identical interests and really great conversation! I really like him, talking to him is often the best part of my day. He's probably the first person that I've ever met that finds the same things interesting as me, and actually wants to talk about it.

    Recently, he's said that he'd possibly like to date (obviously put it better than that). Not really sure how, as we live quite far apart, but anyway..

    I'm having a few concerns:

    - We've never met (this isn't a huge deal tbh, but I have no idea how online relationships even work at all)
    - We'll be on the same course, and living in close proximity for 4 years. Is it a good idea to be expressing interest in someone like that?
    - Would I want to be committing to a relationship before uni starts?

    I'd be completely happy just keeping our relationship at 'really close friends' level, but also would like to go further? Weird situ tbh, as we live so far apart..

    Is anyone in a similar situation? I'd bet that this is happening quite a lot as all of us nerdy-types are meeting similar people on offer holder groups Any insight or ideas would be appreciated!
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    No no no no!
    I got into this situation before my course - thankfully nothing ever happened because when I met him he was COMPLETELY different to how he was online (and actually came out as gay in our second year!). Don't commit to anything, or even hint that you will. IF you get on well when you both get to University then great - you can date and see if something comes out of it. But remember that online you can get really attached to people - it's different from chatting in real life.
    Please don't get caught up in the romance of an online connection - it might not translate to real life and could have an impact on your experience at University.
    My advice would be to keep talking to him, but make sure your boundaries are set. The potential is there for a relationship - but only when you are settled in and comfortable at University (where you will meet loads of similarly great people!)
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by birdie95)
    No no no no!
    I got into this situation before my course - thankfully nothing ever happened because when I met him he was COMPLETELY different to how he was online (and actually came out as gay in our second year!). Don't commit to anything, or even hint that you will. IF you get on well when you both get to University then great - you can date and see if something comes out of it. But remember that online you can get really attached to people - it's different from chatting in real life.
    Please don't get caught up in the romance of an online connection - it might not translate to real life and could have an impact on your experience at University.
    My advice would be to keep talking to him, but make sure your boundaries are set. The potential is there for a relationship - but only when you are settled in and comfortable at University (where you will meet loads of similarly great people!)
    Thanks! This is what I'm kind of thinking, too! I don't really think that he'd be awfully different offline - I've actually talked to a bunch of his friends and apparently he's lovely. But yeah, totally see that. Plus it would be so weird if something did go wrong, we're on a course with less than 20 other people haha
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks! This is what I'm kind of thinking, too! I don't really think that he'd be awfully different offline - I've actually talked to a bunch of his friends and apparently he's lovely. But yeah, totally see that. Plus it would be so weird if something did go wrong, we're on a course with less than 20 other people haha
    Hmm yeah, the good thing is is that you already have a really good friend on your course which will be really nice when you start University!
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    So how should I tell him?? Should I wait for it to come up again, or should I say it right off the bat? The last thing I want to do is to hurt his feelings/screw up our friendship!
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks! This is what I'm kind of thinking, too! I don't really think that he'd be awfully different offline - I've actually talked to a bunch of his friends and apparently he's lovely. But yeah, totally see that. Plus it would be so weird if something did go wrong, we're on a course with less than 20 other people haha
    Keep it as friends for now, once you've met him and you've got to know each other and feelings are strong, then go for the dating.

    Still, nice to know there's a potential boyfriend there if not just friends

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So how should I tell him?? Should I wait for it to come up again, or should I say it right off the bat? The last thing I want to do is to hurt his feelings/screw up our friendship!
    Don't give a point blank refusal. Look at my other post. Just keep it amicable keep chatting for now

    Posted from TSR Mobile
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 5, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Has a teacher ever helped you cheat?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.