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Girls only: Im a guy in need of relationship advice Watch

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    ok, heres the situation: I used to fancy my best friend in As levels and there were signs she reciprocated those feelings, however every time she wanted to get together I refused to do so as I was afraid (I was an unpopular guy in high school, only had a few friends, was fat, hairy, considered ugly,short and from a poor family (most of which is the same even now...); she was good looking, most popular girl in her high school, member of netball team and from a rich family; and tonnes of horrid girls from school always played horrible pranks on my feeling so I felt she was doing the same). eventually, she ended up going out with a ******** (cough drug dealer whos now in prison for gang activities) and she had a shift in personality.
    During the day of her last exam, I decided to go and see her, letting her know how I felt, however fate intervened and I was mugged at knife point (and suffered ptsd). I was left distraught at that aspect and I decided to send her a email confessing my feelings for her in the language of the country she was moving to (there is a lot of info I am leaving out as it can be used to ID quit easily who me and her are).
    anyways, after shes moved abroad, she tried contacting me for the next year or so but I kept ignoring her: partly out of heartbreak, partly out of embarrassment over the email.
    anyways, I see her next the year after that and she doesnt want to know anything about me and the following 3 years, everytime she sees me in public, something bad (ie trip, shove, constant evils/pissed off glare) at me till they stop sudddenly. In fact, when it had stopped, she messaged me using her male cousin's fb profile to chat with me and kept sending X's (she had come over to study at uni in the UK but is now back abroad).

    now fast forward to 2016 (<10 years after she moved abroad), her birthday has come up and I (rather foolishly?) decided to wish her happy birthday. she responded to it and I asked her how was her birthday (no response to that). thing is, I still care about her but not deeply romantic (but to the point that I had diarrhoea thinking about whether I should wish her happy birthday) and just want to confirm my suspicions about the past and see where it goes from there (either did she/does she fancy me for X years (if so I would need advise as to what to do ; does she want to be friends again, or if we should just go about life with no interest in each other).

    As much as I would like to avoid her, it is inescapable as our parents are family friends. the fact that she chose to be friends with me during highschool when I had virtually no friends (literally 5 friends) despite my lack of popularity and undesirable appearance I will always treasure, as will I remember all the conversations I had with her (and everyone else - good long term memory (not eidetic however but I do remember a lot of things from childhood, teenage years, and when I was at uni / the present).

    so, what should I do

    (ps its not like I havent tried moving on, its just that all the girls at uni ive asked out have prettymuch kept me in friendzone - were still friends but im glad theyre in other relationships / married).
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    i could have helped you
    but that's a lot to read so i can't be bothered to read all this
    soz
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    give it a shot (2-3 minutes tops)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ok, heres the situation: I used to fancy my best friend in As levels and there were signs she reciprocated those feelings, however every time she wanted to get together I refused to do so as I was afraid (I was an unpopular guy in high school, only had a few friends, was fat, hairy, considered ugly,short and from a poor family (most of which is the same even now...); she was good looking, most popular girl in her high school, member of netball team and from a rich family; and tonnes of horrid girls from school always played horrible pranks on my feeling so I felt she was doing the same). eventually, she ended up going out with a ******** (cough drug dealer whos now in prison for gang activities) and she had a shift in personality.
    During the day of her last exam, I decided to go and see her, letting her know how I felt, however fate intervened and I was mugged at knife point (and suffered ptsd). I was left distraught at that aspect and I decided to send her a email confessing my feelings for her in the language of the country she was moving to (there is a lot of info I am leaving out as it can be used to ID quit easily who me and her are).
    anyways, after shes moved abroad, she tried contacting me for the next year or so but I kept ignoring her: partly out of heartbreak, partly out of embarrassment over the email.
    anyways, I see her next the year after that and she doesnt want to know anything about me and the following 3 years, everytime she sees me in public, something bad (ie trip, shove, constant evils/pissed off glare) at me till they stop sudddenly. In fact, when it had stopped, she messaged me using her male cousin's fb profile to chat with me and kept sending X's (she had come over to study at uni in the UK but is now back abroad).

    now fast forward to 2016 (<10 years after she moved abroad), her birthday has come up and I (rather foolishly?) decided to wish her happy birthday. she responded to it and I asked her how was her birthday (no response to that). thing is, I still care about her but not deeply romantic (but to the point that I had diarrhoea thinking about whether I should wish her happy birthday) and just want to confirm my suspicions about the past and see where it goes from there (either did she/does she fancy me for X years (if so I would need advise as to what to do ; does she want to be friends again, or if we should just go about life with no interest in each other).

    As much as I would like to avoid her, it is inescapable as our parents are family friends. the fact that she chose to be friends with me during highschool when I had virtually no friends (literally 5 friends) despite my lack of popularity and undesirable appearance I will always treasure, as will I remember all the conversations I had with her (and everyone else - good long term memory (not eidetic however but I do remember a lot of things from childhood, teenage years, and when I was at uni / the present).

    so, what should I do

    (ps its not like I havent tried moving on, its just that all the girls at uni ive asked out have prettymuch kept me in friendzone - were still friends but im glad theyre in other relationships / married).
    Why girls only?

    Also you just swallow your feelings and get on with life. She clearly never felt the same, and even if she did the situation didn't give you a chance. So, just move on and don't hold on to things that never were.
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    You can reminisce about the good times but things have changed over the last ten years and you both seem very hot and cold - ignoring each other for years then getting in touch when the other person doesn't want to know etc. Your lives have changed. You can be civil to each other but move on and find your own life - she isn't part of yours anymore.
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    You can reminisce about the good times but things have changed over the last ten years and you both seem very hot and cold - ignoring each other for years then getting in touch when the other person doesn't want to know etc. Your lives have changed. You can be civil to each other but move on and find your own life - she isn't part of yours anymore.
    cheers (ps as much as i try avoiding her, she always ends up popping up when I dont want her (e.g. friend weddings / volunteer work). shes just like futurama lol (just wont stay away whenever I have felt like closure has been achieved)
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    (Original post by Tootles)
    Why girls only?

    Also you just swallow your feelings and get on with life. She clearly never felt the same, and even if she did the situation didn't give you a chance. So, just move on and don't hold on to things that never were.
    girls only coz most guys tend to be dicks on studentroom in relationship forums and usually endup peacocking about the size of their manhood, sleeping with hoes, etc etc).

    but agreed, I had moved on from her at so many points in my life but at random times she ends up returning to my life. Im literally, just at the point Im like, right: do u like me or dislike me; do you want to be friends, or should we just stop communicating in general (although considering we know a lot of the same people, that may seem awkward)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    cheers (ps as much as i try avoiding her, she always ends up popping up when I dont want her (e.g. friend weddings / volunteer work). shes just like futurama lol (just wont stay away whenever I have felt like closure has been achieved)
    You don't have to avoid her, just don't make an active effort to see her. When you happen to be in the same place, be civil to her, but don't try to rekindle a friendship that died out ten years ago.
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    You don't have to avoid her, just don't make an active effort to see her. When you happen to be in the same place, be civil to her, but don't try to rekindle a friendship that died out ten years ago.
    actually the relationship died out a few years later than that (said <10 as I didnt want to say the exact years). thing is, shes the one who always ends up being in the same place I am at the same time. everytime I feel like talking to her (in the last couple of years), I just feel extremetly tongue tied (funny considering from 2011-2014 she did nothing but give me evils and deliberately trip me / shove me)
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    relationship = friendship
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    girls only coz most guys tend to be dicks on studentroom in relationship forums and usually endup peacocking about the size of their manhood, sleeping with hoes, etc etc).

    but agreed, I had moved on from her at so many points in my life but at random times she ends up returning to my life. Im literally, just at the point Im like, right: do u like me or dislike me; do you want to be friends, or should we just stop communicating in general (although considering we know a lot of the same people, that may seem awkward)
    Sleeping with a hoe would be pretty uncomfortable, I imagine.

    You're overthinking. She doesn't owe you an answer, no yes or no. You know one another, you're (maybe) friends, and she doesn't owe you anything.

    Maybe you need to get over yourself as well as her.
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    (Original post by Tootles)
    Sleeping with a hoe would be pretty uncomfortable, I imagine.

    You're overthinking. She doesn't owe you an answer, no yes or no. You know one another, you're (maybe) friends, and she doesn't owe you anything.

    Maybe you need to get over yourself as well as her.
    I do tend to analyse things a lot (helped me tonnes in uni and during my job) maybe I should turn my brain down lol
 
 
 
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