Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

I have an opportunity to tell her I love her, should I? Watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    So I've known this girl for 2 years now, at first I didn't have these feelings towards her but as we became closer and as she opened up more and more to me I found myself falling for her. At this point I can't lose her, I don't want to.

    She's asked me to teach her a little more on how to play the guitar and I invited her over to my place. It'll just be us two, so I have the privacy and atmosphere I want. However, I don't know whether this is the right move. She hasn't given me any outright clear signs that she likes me, but neither have I. So I'm too nervous to tell her but I feel this is probably the best opportunity I'll have in a long time and I don't want to miss out on my chance.

    I just dont know how to approach her about it. I don't want it to be sudden, I want it gradual.

    Should I make a move and what should my approach be?

    Thanks guys
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    You've known her for two years. And let's be frank, it is always the guy who makes the first move. Maybe the best thing to do is tell her by text message after you have met. Not necessarily that you love her, but that you've developed feelings for her and you're wondering if she feels the same way. That will give her time to maybe process things.
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    Well from what I've read you are two good friends that are on some level already emotionally invested in each other - even if it is a friendship. Plus agreeing to go to your place is an indicator that going a step further isn't out of the question for you even you don't do anything on the day with her. You just need to go the next step and emotionally connect with her in person, make some kind of impact on a sexual level (flirting, complimenting, body language, humour etc) and then deciding from the way she acts in response to that if she wants you. You're already half way there! If she doesn't want that she will make that obvious in some form. Really take that on board and if she doesn't reciprocate and always feels overly tense when you're forwards both verbally and with body language - then maybe this is an indicator she wants to keep the friendship but not ruin it with the dilemma of you falling for her. Good luck!
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Just tell her man.
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    I feel like this video is relevant for you.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gT7j0RUSFqY
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by oversizedcarrot)
    I feel like this video is relevant for you.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gT7j0RUSFqY
    Thing is she's a very mature woman and the method mentioned in this video seems like it would scare her away. She's not given in to small talk like that. She is a very deep woman and telling her "you have beautiful legs" or something sexual like that out of nowhere would either A) scare her away if she doesn't like me or B) baffle her and probably put her off of me. That's why I want a gradual approach.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by oversizedcarrot)
    Well from what I've read you are two good friends that are on some level already emotionally invested in each other - even if it is a friendship. Plus agreeing to go to your place is an indicator that going a step further isn't out of the question for you even you don't do anything on the day with her. You just need to go the next step and emotionally connect with her in person, make some kind of impact on a sexual level (flirting, complimenting, body language, humour etc) and then deciding from the way she acts in response to that if she wants you. You're already half way there! If she doesn't want that she will make that obvious in some form. Really take that on board and if she doesn't reciprocate and always feels overly tense when you're forwards both verbally and with body language - then maybe this is an indicator she wants to keep the friendship but not ruin it with the dilemma of you falling for her. Good luck!
    I understand what you're trying to tell me though so thank you. It's just the video you sent me I'm not too sure about it.

    Thanks again

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • Very Important Poster
    Online

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Very Important Poster
    Don't tell her that you love her. If anything, tell her that you like her, but maybe instead ask her out somewhere or kiss or something like that.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by KazH48)
    So I've known this girl for 2 years now, at first I didn't have these feelings towards her but as we became closer and as she opened up more and more to me I found myself falling for her. At this point I can't lose her, I don't want to.

    She's asked me to teach her a little more on how to play the guitar and I invited her over to my place. It'll just be us two, so I have the privacy and atmosphere I want. However, I don't know whether this is the right move. She hasn't given me any outright clear signs that she likes me, but neither have I. So I'm too nervous to tell her but I feel this is probably the best opportunity I'll have in a long time and I don't want to miss out on my chance.

    I just dont know how to approach her about it. I don't want it to be sudden, I want it gradual.

    Should I make a move and what should my approach be?

    Thanks guys
    This is so adorable!
    TELL HER!

    But yes be gradual. Don't go all, "I really like you, please say you like me?"
    Just set her aside, probably at the end of the lesson, and tell her that you have developed some strong feelings for her over the past two years you've known her. And you just wanted her to know that. Don't push for an answer afterwards.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by KazH48)
    So I've known this girl for 2 years now, at first I didn't have these feelings towards her but as we became closer and as she opened up more and more to me I found myself falling for her. At this point I can't lose her, I don't want to.

    She's asked me to teach her a little more on how to play the guitar and I invited her over to my place. It'll just be us two, so I have the privacy and atmosphere I want. However, I don't know whether this is the right move. She hasn't given me any outright clear signs that she likes me, but neither have I. So I'm too nervous to tell her but I feel this is probably the best opportunity I'll have in a long time and I don't want to miss out on my chance.

    I just dont know how to approach her about it. I don't want it to be sudden, I want it gradual.

    Should I make a move and what should my approach be?

    Thanks guys
    ignore her and be an absolutely awkward b*stard. That's what I've done and i'm like the biggest forever alone ever.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by HedgehogsRulz)
    ignore her and be an absolutely awkward b*stard. That's what I've done and i'm like the biggest forever alone ever.
    Oh my god! We should be friends! :cheers:
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by RMNDK)
    This is so adorable!
    TELL HER!

    But yes be gradual. Don't go all, "I really like you, please say you like me?"
    Just set her aside, probably at the end of the lesson, and tell her that you have developed some strong feelings for her over the past two years you've known her. And you just wanted her to know that. Don't push for an answer afterwards.
    This is what I'm thinking of doing. I just want to be very straightforward with her. But somehow be gradual about it, not scare her away. I'm not sure, maybe I'm over thinking it and should probably just go for it. I don't want to lose her though that's all.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • Very Important Poster
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Very Important Poster
    Welcome Squad
    Never confess to a girl that you like/love her. This could be incredibly awkward if the feelings are not reciprocated. Imagine your friend of 2 years randomly said to you one day "I love you, I have liked you for such a long time..." and you don't like them back. Awkward, right? You're more likely to lose the friendship this way too.

    Instead, show her that you like her. Flirt with her and touch her every now and then to get the ball rolling. Eventually you'll ask her out on a date. This is a much better way of getting your message across. If she pushes you away then hey, at least you know and then you'll start to look elsewhere. You'll probably still be friends too

    You tell me which option sounds better, of course it goes without saying that the latter is probably your best bet

    Good luck
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SeanFM)
    Don't tell her that you love her. If anything, tell her that you like her, but maybe instead ask her out somewhere or kiss or something like that.
    PRSOM you can't love someone with whom you haven't had a romantic relationship op
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by UWS)
    Never confess to a girl that you like/love her. This could be incredibly awkward if the feelings are not reciprocated. Imagine your friend of 2 years randomly said to you one day "I love you, I have liked you for such a long time..." and you don't like them back. Awkward, right? You're more likely to lose the friendship this way too.

    Instead, show her that you like her. Flirt with her and touch her every now and then to get the ball rolling. Eventually you'll ask her out on a date. This is a much better way of getting your message across. If she pushes you away then hey, at least you know and then you'll start to look elsewhere. You'll probably still be friends too

    You tell me which option sounds better, of course it goes without saying that the latter is probably your best bet

    Good luck
    I guess this approach makes a lot more sense too, and so far it's my favoured. Maybe I should drop a few more obvious hints but not outright tell her until I have a better idea of her feelings. Thank you for your time

    Posted from TSR Mobile
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 7, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Has a teacher ever helped you cheat?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.