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Can someone please mark my work '' English'' -16 marks? would be so grateful Watch

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    Havisham is a dramatic poem. Expressing Havisham's love and hatred she has towards her '*******' finance that left her and what he has caused her to become. Havisham has not only wished but prayed which shows a religious imagery and a verb, showing her anger of wanting him 'dead' that her eyes have turned to '' dark green pebbles'' metaphorical describing her jealousy that hardens

    Havisham shows her violence of what her finance turned her into, she expresses how she rots and stinks as she has remained the same since her wedding day and is '' trembling'' to look herself in the mirror. Showing she no longer recognises herself, it is shown in the rhetorical question'' who did this to me?'' this expresses her anger and pressure.

    Havisham uses an oxymoron '' love's hate'' it shows the innocence of her and the destruction he has caused to her life making her angry, the alliteration of the ''balloon bursting'' not only shows her anger but violence. Her violence is shown as she '' stabbed at a wedding cake, ''it shows the contrast as a wedding cake represents happiness and your love bond but as Havisham stabs it it shows her anger and her love that's hated.

    Havisham shows how she is losing control by the pauses and repetition she uses and wants to '' strangle'' '' bite'' her finance showing she wants to cause him pain and suffering just like he caused to her. and shows her violence because of the isolation he's making her feel without his 'lost body' and would prefer a '' male corpse '' This implies death.

    Havisham defines the pain her finance brought upon her because he left her. She shows the audience her violence and anger and evoking sympathy for the reader as the feel her pain for her loss.
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    It's hard to mark an essay when you don't know what the title or point of the essay is meant to be? But what I can tell you is that you've started too many sentences with "Havisham", try to vary the beginning of sentences a bit more.
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    ... or you could give it to a teacher who actually knows what the question is?
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    (Original post by emiloujess)
    ... or you could give it to a teacher who actually knows what the question is?
    iThe question is what language devices and what message is havisham trying to show by writing it?
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    (Original post by prettyprincess1)
    Havisham is a dramatic poem. Expressing Havisham's love and hatred she has towards her '*******' finance that left her and what he has caused her to become. Havisham has not only wished but prayed which shows a religious imagery and a verb, showing her anger of wanting him 'dead' that her eyes have turned to '' dark green pebbles'' metaphorical describing her jealousy that hardens

    Havisham shows her violence of what her finance turned her into, she expresses how she rots and stinks as she has remained the same since her wedding day and is '' trembling'' to look herself in the mirror. Showing she no longer recognises herself, it is shown in the rhetorical question'' who did this to me?'' this expresses her anger and pressure.

    Havisham uses an oxymoron '' love's hate'' it shows the innocence of her and the destruction he has caused to her life making her angry, the alliteration of the ''balloon bursting'' not only shows her anger but violence. Her violence is shown as she '' stabbed at a wedding cake, ''it shows the contrast as a wedding cake represents happiness and your love bond but as Havisham stabs it it shows her anger and her love that's hated.

    Havisham shows how she is losing control by the pauses and repetition she uses and wants to '' strangle'' '' bite'' her finance showing she wants to cause him pain and suffering just like he caused to her. and shows her violence because of the isolation he's making her feel without his 'lost body' and would prefer a '' male corpse '' This implies death.

    Havisham defines the pain her finance brought upon her because he left her. She shows the audience her violence and anger and evoking sympathy for the reader as the feel her pain for her loss.
    You need to change finance into fiancé (several times).
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    (Original post by Ninjakam119)
    It's hard to mark an essay when you don't know what the title or point of the essay is meant to be? But what I can tell you is that you've started too many sentences with "Havisham", try to vary the beginning of sentences a bit more.
    The question was : what message does the poet havisham show and what language devices are used?
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    (Original post by Compost)
    You need to change finance into fiancé (several times).
    oops i kinda of just relaised that thank you! what mark what it be please?
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    Quick tips:

    I dont study this particular poem but I am doing English Lit (with the compulsory English language)

    -explanations: Your explanation seems quite short. You should include full language analysis for the top marks. (You do have this in your paragraphs though but could add more detail)

    -Author's intention: This is important in every essay. You haven't really included it here though. Why did Havisham use these techniques? Did she succeed in this purpose? You are saying what techniques she uses but for top marks should say the reasoning why these tecnhinques are used

    -Structure: Highly, Highly important in every essay I have done. It links heavily to the message she tries to show. I can't give an example for this poem as I have never read it but I can give a general example:

    Author X says this after/before other events as it [what is the effect]
    (An inspector calls example: Priestley reveals the events one at a time to build the tension and show how everyone's actions cause a consequence for the next person)

    Structure is always very important as it will always contribute to the message. Here the message seems to be her loss so maybe she makes this emotion build throughout the poem so it is very clear at the end how he has left her feeling? I dont know the poem but I can deduce it is something like this from your essay, You havent made it explicitly clear to the examiner that you know abouot structure though.

    Significance: This is also highly important when talking about the message. You have talked briefly about it with her pain but not in enough detail for full marks. This is linked to structure a lot and also language analysis as these things lead the reader to understand the message of the poem. You should talk about how things link together and how the techniques she uses add to th overall message and significance of the poem.
    (Adding some context here is great as it will wow the examiner)

    Overall, a good answer with regards to evidence and I can seeyou understand the poem and it's message. However, you need to clearly say that you do understand explicilty: analysing evidence, linking to what she was trying to say and her intention in giving the message and how the tecnhiques and structure she uses add to the message seeming significant to the reader.

    If you have any questions about what I just said feel free to ask!
 
 
 
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