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Is it rape if you don't want it to be? watch

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    (Original post by biglad2k16)
    Rape is if you don't give any consent. That's it really
    That is true morally but legally it is more complex
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    yeah I'm the woman in the situation
    (Original post by SmallTownGirl)
    OP states that person B said 'stop'. Unless this was during pre-agreed role-play, saying 'stop' means there is no consent. As long as A heard 'stop', A cannot 'reasonably believe' B consented. Previous behaviour is not relevant. Having sex with someone once/ten times/a hundred times previously doesn't change that everyone involved has to consent for it to be sex rather than sexual assault or rape.



    Huh? It's not a gender thing. If Person 1 wants to have sex with Person 2 and Person 2 says they don't want sex right now/ever/that specific kind of sex etc. then Person 1 MUST respect that and not keep asking to 'convince' Person 2.



    Pressuring someone negates consent. So if one person does not give consent and is then pressured to 'consent' and then whatever that person had originally not consented to occurs then that is sexual assault or rape and a crime has be committed. Are you either of the people in this situation?



    But we talk about 'making excuses' when we refer to things we should do or have an obligation to do but really don't want to do e.g. 'I should go to my cousin's wedding but I don't want to, can we find an excuse?'; 'You're just making excuses not to clean the bathroom, it's your turn'; 'I can't write my essay until my room is spotless' 'You're making excuses, you need to study'. We do not need to give any reason why we don't want to have sex with a certain person/at a certain time/in a certain way/ever. And any reasons anyone chooses to give are valid and enough. No matter what anyone else thinks.

    Someone saying 'I'm not interested tonight' and then being asked about a long list of other sexual acts that they might want to do seems like pressuring. Coercion is when someone says 'no' or 'stop' or is clearly not wanting to have any kind of sex and they are asked until they say 'yes' because they know that the other person won't stop asking. Coercion and pressure is when one person thinks that they can 'persuade' another person to 'change their mind' and so keeps asking or suggesting. Respect someone's lack of consent.
    Well it's an excuse to mask the fact that I wanted to have sex basically. That's why I said excuse. I admit I did say stop and he didn't really stop as long as I'd asked but like I said the end result I didn't leave upset at least.
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    (Original post by nrb17)
    yeah I'm the woman in the situation

    Well it's an excuse to mask the fact that I wanted to have sex basically. That's why I said excuse. I admit I did say stop and he didn't really stop as long as I'd asked but like I said the end result I didn't leave upset at least.
    I think it's rape morally however I'm guessing you want to know is it rape criminally and could the other person be prosecuted
    Criminally I believe it is rape based on what you have said
    But
    I can't see this ending in a conviction if you don't want it to you could simply say that you consented or not comply with any police investigation and honestly I don't think there is any where near enough evidence for a conviction and if I was on a jury with just the facts you have mentioned I would have to say not guilty
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    (Original post by nrb17)
    oops my bad I forgot that part they both were drunk. my bad soory
    Then only the man is responsible.
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    Well I said stop and then he paused and kissed m,e and I let him and he proceeded and I didn't stop him at that point. So basically I gavew no yes and no no. To me it's like if you don't have a traffic signal of anything not green nor red the cars are going to proceed without any liability.

    (Original post by NekoAngel13)
    If he penetrated her when she said no and clearly didn't want it then, yes it is rape. If she made out like she didn't want it when her actions said that she did then no, it may not be rape. It may be classed as implied consent.

    Implied consent means that if she didn't act against it or if her actions imply consent then she consented to the sex. If she's kissing him and touching him and into it then she's consenting with her actions.

    If she changes her mind and decides that she wanted it then no it's not rape. People can change their minds without saying so. If she says no then changes her mind after a bit then it is consensual. Him persuading her into sex isn't rape unless he forces her.

    Also, if she doesn't have any problems with what happened and doesn't believe that it was rape then it wasn't. If she consents after it took place that she wanted it to happen or is happy that it happened then her consent to the deed is given.

    If there's no penetration at all then it can't be rape, it's sexual assault. The legal definition means that penetration has to occur.
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    I am prolife so I wouldn't ever do abortion adoption seems like a good idea if I can't get the right support I need to parent. And I can't depend on my parents either.


    (Original post by scrotgrot)
    If you raise the baby still go to university. In general they have excellent support, financial and logistical, plus you even retain entitlements to state benefits including housing benefit. Plus it will not disrupt your career too much if the baby can be off to pre-school by the time you graduate.

    Giving a baby away for adoption once you have pushed it out is incredibly hard to do I would imagine. It sounds like far and away the best idea but you might not be able to do it in the moment. Probably best to seek advice from actual mothers. Your decision now will have moment for the rest of your life, long after any silly thoughts about parents suing and feuding are past.

    Your parents would not be able to sue for two reasons: one, as far as I know, rape is a criminal matter which is prosecuted by the Crown - all they can do is report it to the police; and two, your/their claim will be airily dismissed either by the police (although one hopes not because that is a bad attitude to take towards rape victims) or by the CPS. The reason for this is it is patently impossible to prove anything in this case.
    I didn't know before posting this that most everyone was in the uk on this website my bad
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    If they hooked up later then why is it even relevant? She obviously doesn't think she got raped given what you said, or maybe she does I have no idea.
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    (Original post by nrb17)
    Curious if anyone knows legally if two people are hooking up. They aren't dating. And they end dating other people. But during the time they hook up they hadconsensual encounters before and after. One of the time they are drunk at a party and didn't take her bcp and doesn't want to do it. But doesn't neccesarily say no. Like she made excuses but he kind of persisted. He convinced her to let him just do stuff other than sex. And at first she said stop but during she didn't and they both ended up climaxing but she never actually gave permission to have intercourse. But later they hooked up even after that a few times. Would this be legally rape or no? Even if she rather not see it that way. Also they're both 17.
    Yes it is rape. If she said stop at first, he should've climbed off and go away. There's no two ways about it. Climaxing doesn't mean it wasn't rape.

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    (Original post by SmallTownGirl)


    Huh? It's not a gender thing. If Person 1 wants to have sex with Person 2 and Person 2 says they don't want sex right now/ever/that specific kind of sex etc. then Person 1 MUST respect that and not keep asking to 'convince' Person 2.
    I disagree, anyone has a right to try and attempt to convince someone. The other person has a right to resist being convinced if they so wish.

    Trust me, if every guy gave up at the very first sign of resistance. No one would have sex, ever.
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    If you said Stop and he heard you then it's rape or sexual assault if no penetration took place, but you won't be able to prove it in court. As judging from your description the evidence of reasonable doubt would be in his favour.
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    honestly I know I know I'd have probably not had sex with him had we not been drunk. I got really drunk and therefore was too dumb to actually say no.
 
 
 
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