Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Hi all, I have a little bit of a silly situation, and would like some advice.

    I'm 18, and have been single for the past part of three and a half years. I joined an online dating website and constructed my profile in detail; including all photographs with recent likeness to me. Then this guy messaged me. We really, really, truly hit it off. I was surprised by our connection, and really, really liked him. It all seemed to good to be true... After talking for ages every night for the best part of three weeks, we decided to meet up. He knew all about my worries about my weight (which I have struggled with all my life) and was totally fine with this. We were as electric in the flesh as online; we spoke avidly and he acted very interested in me, constantly hugging me, holding my hand, generally acting super interested. When he told me about his family's problems (he has very very mild Asperger's Syndrome, his mother Bipolar, his sister Depression, and they're all on benefits because of this), I was very sympathetic, and he was so pleased at my acceptance of him. It was a great date. When he dropped me off at home, he suddenly says he would like to remain friends and doesn't see it going anywhere. Naturally, I was confused and so so hurt, but agreed and went in. Obviously, he is entitled to his decision, but now I'm not sure what to do. Afterwards, he messaged me on FB saying that he's 'really sorry but I'm sure you understand.', 'I know I was flirty with you, but it just wasn't doing it for me, so won't be flirting with you anymore'. Also, earlier on in the day he had mentioned how he had lost so many people, and then on FB said that I was a great friend and he still wants me to come to his show (which I was invited to) the next week? Ok so, honestly I am convinced it is about my weight (as we really got on so well, and he basically said beforehand that he wants to go out with me), and that's fine...but I am really, really hurt. My question is: I don't know what to do now? I've never been in this situation before and I don't know what turned him off me (I don't think I can really ask, can I?), but he really wants to remain friends. What would you do in this situation if someone had hurt you? Should I unfriend him on FB (he was very arrogant also in his FB messages), and I don't know how to deal with it.

    I am just so sad (first proper date in ages with someone that I really, really, truly liked...) Thanks for the help
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi all, I have a little bit of a silly situation, and would like some advice.

    I'm 18, and have been single for the past part of three and a half years. I joined an online dating website and constructed my profile in detail; including all photographs with recent likeness to me. Then this guy messaged me. We really, really, truly hit it off. I was surprised by our connection, and really, really liked him. It all seemed to good to be true... After talking for ages every night for the best part of three weeks, we decided to meet up. He knew all about my worries about my weight (which I have struggled with all my life) and was totally fine with this. We were as electric in the flesh as online; we spoke avidly and he acted very interested in me, constantly hugging me, holding my hand, generally acting super interested. When he told me about his family's problems (he has very very mild Asperger's Syndrome, his mother Bipolar, his sister Depression, and they're all on benefits because of this), I was very sympathetic, and he was so pleased at my acceptance of him. It was a great date. When he dropped me off at home, he suddenly says he would like to remain friends and doesn't see it going anywhere. Naturally, I was confused and so so hurt, but agreed and went in. Obviously, he is entitled to his decision, but now I'm not sure what to do. Afterwards, he messaged me on FB saying that he's 'really sorry but I'm sure you understand.', 'I know I was flirty with you, but it just wasn't doing it for me, so won't be flirting with you anymore'. Also, earlier on in the day he had mentioned how he had lost so many people, and then on FB said that I was a great friend and he still wants me to come to his show (which I was invited to) the next week? Ok so, honestly I am convinced it is about my weight (as we really got on so well, and he basically said beforehand that he wants to go out with me), and that's fine...but I am really, really hurt. My question is: I don't know what to do now? I've never been in this situation before and I don't know what turned him off me (I don't think I can really ask, can I?), but he really wants to remain friends. What would you do in this situation if someone had hurt you? Should I unfriend him on FB (he was very arrogant also in his FB messages), and I don't know how to deal with it.

    I am just so sad (first proper date in ages with someone that I really, really, truly liked...) Thanks for the help
    I'm so sorry to hear that it broke down. I could tell that you were passionate about him and you really wanted to make it work. I can easily understand why you'd feel hurt, it's horrible. The feeling when you truly love someone, they sorta lead you on making you think they love you too but, it somehow breaks down and leaves you in pieces. I'm so sorry. Staying friends might be a good thing, but you mentioned that you felt it was down to your weight or something. You could ask what drove him away but, you said he was arrogant in the way he talked to you.

    I'd say, you're probably gonna have to draw a line under it all. It's going to be hard and you'll be upset for a while. After you get over it though, with help from people around you, you'll forget it even happened and find someone who will cherish you, eventually.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 6, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Has a teacher ever helped you cheat?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.