The Student Room Group

I get called attention seeking for having a picture of me as my avatar?

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Original post by Anonymous
im female and ad say im good looking as i get lots of attention for my looks. it annoys me when people say im attention seeking (mainly by guys) bc i have a picture of me as my avatar, im very modest about looks and get shy when people compliment me, i dont hate it when people compliment me but happy as well as shy.

do any of you guys think having my picture as my avatar is attention seeking, i dont get why i get told it is.


Odd, most people moan if it's not a face picture. Are you attention seeking by claiming it's the opposite.......hmmmm

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Ethereal World
The anonymity is both the best and worst thing about TSR for me. I know for a fact most people wouldn't do stuff like this in person. People feel like their actions don't have consequences and the Internet is a bubble. It's just naivety and immaturity. But you can't really enforce this kind of information on people- they have to learn from living. :yep:


I think many people gleefully use the anonymity aspect too, and sadly often get away with it. Like all those threads you see pop up with incredibly racist/sexist ranting rambling titles. I'm very new to the online forum world so every day I see stuff that bewilders me....
How can people have any idea about your motivations for putting a photo up?

Besides, what's wrong with attention-seeking anyway? The only problem is the that you'll attract the inevitable idiots that are the attention-givers. :adore:


As for the anon (not necessarily OP), I believe if you post a viewpoint, you should be brave enough to put your name and face to it too. If you believe something but you're not willing to stand up and be counted for it - do you really believe it?

SS
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by leavingthecity
I think many people gleefully use the anonymity aspect too, and sadly often get away with it. Like all those threads you see pop up with incredibly racist/sexist ranting rambling titles. I'm very new to the online forum world so every day I see stuff that bewilders me....


Well I wonder whether part of it is abuse of the anonymity to get kicks with controversial opinions they don't really believe deep down, or more concerning, that they genuinely do feel that way and because real life has become so PC people just suppress these thoughts and so the Internet is a hub for it allllll to come out. I guess in that way it's good because it means we can get a more accurate gauge on the extent to which these attitudes remain but aren't displayed openly. It also means these people have an opportunity to be educated without fear of being jumped on like they would do in reality by a PC nazi. I'm very passionate about fighting the hatred and phobia but I'm also not just doing it because it's PC - it's about educating people how destructive their ill informed opinions are and making them realise that they do have a responsibility rather than assuming that they as one person make no difference to anything. If everyone had that attitude, nothing would change.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Jay to the mill
Yooooooooo give the details.

Who is it?


I won't spill the beans unless Anon asks me to
Original post by WoodyMKC
Why do you care about what a bunch of people you're never gonna meet think?


Because words can be hurtful, dont be so insenstivie
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Ethereal World
Well I wonder whether part of it is abuse of the anonymity to get kicks with controversial opinions they don't really believe deep down, or more concerning, that they genuinely do feel that way and because real life has become so PC people just suppress these thoughts and so the Internet is a hub for it allllll to come out. I guess in that way it's good because it means we can get a more accurate gauge on the extent to which these attitudes remain but aren't displayed openly. It also means these people have an opportunity to be educated without fear of being jumped on like they would do in reality by a PC nazi. I'm very passionate about fighting the hatred and phobia but I'm also not just doing it because it's PC - it's about educating people how destructive their ill informed opinions are and making them realise that they do have a responsibility rather than assuming that they as one person make no difference to anything. If everyone had that attitude, nothing would change.


Abuse of anonymity and controversy kicks sums up a good deal of TSR posts!

Yeah, being able to educate people and change their opinion in an environment of anonymity would be the biggest challenge of all, and it needs to be considered more seriously. That kind of environment is already a recruitment ground for extreme types. It's actually very commendable that you are taking on that social responsibility.
Original post by QuothTheRaven
Because words can be hurtful, dont be so insenstivie


They can be. However, if you are hurt by people you don't know calling you insecure, then those people are clearly right - not that I've ever given anyobe flack for putting up a pic of themselves and some people can be nasty, but still. Being oversensitive is worse than being insensitive IMO.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by leavingthecity
Abuse of anonymity and controversy kicks sums up a good deal of TSR posts!

Yeah, being able to educate people and change their opinion in an environment of anonymity would be the biggest challenge of all, and it needs to be considered more seriously. That kind of environment is already a recruitment ground for extreme types. It's actually very commendable that you are taking on that social responsibility.


Well I can't say I've got much tangible result from it but I have no idea who has been lurking and reading my posts and blog and finding it changes their mind even a bit or opens their eyes. There is one person in particular though that I had an effect on with regards to islamophobia and one is the same as a 1000.

I think that's why I reacted a bit when you had a go at that comment (you know which one :rofl:) because to me it was like an exhalation or just my impatience manifesting- but to you it just seemed like I wasn't doing anything to be constructive and was using a situation for laughs or reps. I know we sorted it out and actually it taught me for the most part that what you do at a certain moment in time reflects on you and not everyone has the benefit of a full history of what you actually think- either because they genuinely don't know (like you) or they cba to find out (like most people). So that interaction actually taught me to be more careful about making quips that don't reflect properly on my thoughts and intentions. Lol.

You're a great presence on here btw, your life experience shines through everything you say and the way you word your sentences. :colondollar:
Original post by WoodyMKC
They can be. However, if you are hurt by people you don't know calling you insecure, then those people are clearly right - not that I've ever given anyobe flack for putting up a pic of themselves and some people can be nasty, but still. Being oversensitive is worse than being insensitive IMO.


I wouldn't say that is necessarily oversensitive. Feeling insulted by somebody online doesn't make you insecure or thin skinned (necessarily). Cyber bullying is legitimate and can have similar effects to bullying in person.

I know it might seem silly. But young people use this site. Not everyone is old enough or confident enough to have developed a thick skin which, cmon, you gotto admit, it takes time. The fact it is strangers can actually make it worse
Original post by Anonymous
im female and ad say im good looking as i get lots of attention for my looks. it annoys me when people say im attention seeking (mainly by guys) bc i have a picture of me as my avatar, im very modest about looks and get shy when people compliment me, i dont hate it when people compliment me but happy as well as shy.

do any of you guys think having my picture as my avatar is attention seeking, i dont get why i get told it is.


Okay now I know who you are OP ! :smile:
Why DO people post their pics on tsr?
<<< Everyone likes a bit of Ronnie now and again:colondollar:
No, don't listen to them, you can have whatever you want as your avatar as long as it's not offensive and those who have enough time on their hands to say these things to you clearly aren't worth thinking about :smile:
Naaaah that aint tension seeking. Its stupid if people think its tension seeking.
Original post by FrenchUnicorn
Okay now I know who you are OP ! :smile:


:wink:
Original post by Ethereal World
Well I can't say I've got much tangible result from it but I have no idea who has been lurking and reading my posts and blog and finding it changes their mind even a bit or opens their eyes. There is one person in particular though that I had an effect on with regards to islamophobia and one is the same as a 1000.

I think that's why I reacted a bit when you had a go at that comment (you know which one :rofl:) because to me it was like an exhalation or just my impatience manifesting- but to you it just seemed like I wasn't doing anything to be constructive and was using a situation for laughs or reps. I know we sorted it out and actually it taught me for the most part that what you do at a certain moment in time reflects on you and not everyone has the benefit of a full history of what you actually think- either because they genuinely don't know (like you) or they cba to find out (like most people). So that interaction actually taught me to be more careful about making quips that don't reflect properly on my thoughts and intentions. Lol.

You're a great presence on here btw, your life experience shines through everything you say and the way you word your sentences. :colondollar:


But remember, the reps you got showed, what I interpret to be, a group of people that probably feel you are sticking up for them. That's who I imagined to be behind those reps. So that is also the impact you are making!

It reminded me that my way of talking is good in some situation, but far too bludgeoning in others. Few people interact like that or appreciate it I should think! When I made the comment, I knew that you weren't being literal at all, but thought about the reach you have via your blog and how some people who haven't read it wouldn't consider the whole argument you make, or the wider dialogue that goes on regarding that topic on TSR.

Aw, but you mean DESPITE the way I word my sentences haha.

Keep up the good work, couldn't tell from your post yesterday whether you will keep blogging on here or not????
Original post by leavingthecity
But remember, the reps you got showed, what I interpret to be, a group of people that probably feel you are sticking up for them. That's who I imagined to be behind those reps. So that is also the impact you are making!

It reminded me that my way of talking is good in some situation, but far too bludgeoning in others. Few people interact like that or appreciate it I should think! When I made the comment, I knew that you weren't being literal at all, but thought about the reach you have via your blog and how some people who haven't read it wouldn't consider the whole argument you make, or the wider dialogue that goes on regarding that topic on TSR.

Aw, but you mean DESPITE the way I word my sentences haha.

Keep up the good work, couldn't tell from your post yesterday whether you will keep blogging on here or not????


Awwww. Well thank you for being able to reasonably sort this out! A good bit of friendly confrontation is often a good precursor to respect because there's no appeasing. I'm happy to be disagreed with on any of my opinions- I don't appreciate personal attacks but honestly some of my closest friends on here pretty much vehemently oppose everything I say!!

I'm not really sure. I had really bad anxiety at the weekend and I don't want a forum to be driving that cycle of it but I also don't want to lose the one platform where I tell my stories and opinions in a completely transparent way. I prob won't do a post for a while and I'm also not going to be silly on TSR anymore- and do silly 'thirsty' things like indiscriminately flirt and rep whore. After my comment about taking some time out yesterday I realised just how many people had valued my blog- like people said I had given them hope. That literally means the world to me because I know what it's like to be alone and struggling with mental health and feel like nobody understands.

It's also important for me not to just run away from problems or things that 'trigger' me. I have to learn to be better at dealing with it and getting better at not being so sensitive. In my life this is important not just on an online forum and I feel like simply leaving and not facing the issues would be counterintuitive. It's also promoted me to seek some more therapy to work on this aspect of me. Don't get me wrong I don't want to change but I need to be able to separate stuff and not take everything onto myself and internalise it. I can't pretend I don't care when I do.

Also thanks for the follow :biggrin:
Original post by xobeauty
Why DO people post their pics on tsr?


If they feel that they can, there is no reason why they shouldn't.
Original post by SMEGGGY
Odd, most people moan if it's not a face picture. Are you attention seeking by claiming it's the opposite.......hmmmm

Posted from TSR Mobile


lol no.

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