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sex + chemo

heya, my boyfriend has been having chemo for a year now and has just finished his intensive stuff. for the next 3 years hel be having oral drugs everyday for a week each month (hope that makes sense) and an injection once a month. there not particuarly strong, compared to what hes had in the past.
anyway i was wondering is it recommended to wear a condom while hes still getting chemo, even at the lower doses. i have heard that he should wear a condom during the main treatment as some of the chemicals can pass through the semen and possibly damage me, but would this still be the case at the lower doses? just wondering as not a great fan of condoms, but obviously i will use them if its needed.

also im still quite new at sex - only done it a few times with my boyfriend so far - like 7/8 times? and its still hurting quite a bit on entry, tho the pain subsides a bit quicker than it did at the beginning. will this improve?

thanks for any replies
x

Reply 1

--

3

Yes it'll improve, but make sure you spend a lot of time on foreplay so that you're ready for penetration. As for the chemo, you should really get him to ask his doctor, no one here would be able to give a definitive answer to such a specialised question. :smile:

Reply 2

Bubblebee

15

Best person to ask would be your doctor. I don't think many people on here will have gone through this. But good luck to you!

Reply 3

dh00001

16

its best to just in case.
it probably will, relax more :smile:

Reply 4

Talya

16

Get him to ask his doc :smile:

Reply 5

Ellsbells3032

9

ask his doctor but if ur still not sure then use it anyways!

Reply 6

daggy

Hey there, like everyone else said ask your Dr, better to be safe than sorry. Erm my friend had testicular cancer and he was told to wear a condom for X amount of months after his treatment finished, so I'd expect you should if he's taking chaemo based medication.
As for the sex, unless he's a horse boy it should get less painful, but like other people said more foreplay and relax a bit.

Reply 7

ßlαcksωαn

17

Like others said, ask the doc.
And I'd just like to congrat you for sticking with him though this stage in his life, you must be a very nice person :smile:

Reply 8

yoohoo

OP

shall get him to ask his doctor, as much as it embarrases him lol. yeh was a bit of a blow had only been going out a couple of days (!) before he went for a blood test and found out, but i think despite some really **** times it has made us quite strong as a couple :smile:

xx

Reply 9

Meep!

9

I can't offer any help on the situation other than to ask his doc, s I haven't been in this sort of situation myself, however I just wanted to say well done to you for staying with him :smile:

Support is what people need when faced with that, and I think he's very lucky to have someone who cares :smile:

Congrats!

Reply 10

yoohoo

OP

thanks for that, tho in honesty i cant imagine doing anything different. its meant hes been able to come up to uni and stay with me wen hes been well enough and see all his friends, which i think has made a real difference in a year that could have otherwise been really really crap (obviously its not been amazing, but i guess it could have been a lot worse). xx

Reply 11

KeenEconomist

Ditto, I'm really happy to see that there are girls like you out there! No reason why the 'in sickness and in health' thing shouldn't apply even when you are only bf & gf.

Reply 12

Joric

yoohoo

heya, my boyfriend has been having chemo for a year now and has just finished his intensive stuff. for the next 3 years hel be having oral drugs everyday for a week each month (hope that makes sense) and an injection once a month. there not particuarly strong, compared to what hes had in the past.
anyway i was wondering is it recommended to wear a condom while hes still getting chemo, even at the lower doses. i have heard that he should wear a condom during the main treatment as some of the chemicals can pass through the semen and possibly damage me, but would this still be the case at the lower doses? just wondering as not a great fan of condoms, but obviously i will use them if its needed.

also im still quite new at sex - only done it a few times with my boyfriend so far - like 7/8 times? and its still hurting quite a bit on entry, tho the pain subsides a bit quicker than it did at the beginning. will this improve?

thanks for any replies
x

The pain will reduce. But about other queries you should speak to a doctor.

Reply 13

yoohoo

OP

ok good, i thought it would - we do do a lot of foreplay but i guess its just a matter of time and practice, not too bothered about that :tongue:

and i dont think ive done nything particuarly praise worthy by sticking with him - i guess at is was a really early relationship wen he found out i could have left and not have all the hassle. but i knew there was something special between us, and i knew that he would need as much support as possible so was happy to help him :smile:

i reckon most people in my situation would have done the same, just luckily most dont have to make that decision!
x

Reply 14

RetiredAccount89

18

well with the length of chemo you are talking about, i assume its either hodgkins or ALL.
but in either case the answer is yes. he will need to wear a condom.

the chemo chemicals do go into the semen - though this is mainly for the 48hours after each chemo dose. its not known if these chemicals are harmful - not enough studies have been done so its a better safe than sorry measure really, but they can cause stinging for ladies if no condom is used.

Reply 15

yoohoo

OP

Jamie

well with the length of chemo you are talking about, i assume its either hodgkins or ALL.
but in either case the answer is yes. he will need to wear a condom.

the chemo chemicals do go into the semen - though this is mainly for the 48hours after each chemo dose. its not known if these chemicals are harmful - not enough studies have been done so its a better safe than sorry measure really, but they can cause stinging for ladies if no condom is used.

ok many thanks for that, yeh he had ALL. x

Reply 16

matt19850

I went through chemo last year, the only reason theyll be telling him to wear a condom is that the chemo chemicals can really make you ill if you're not already (like the 1st course of chemo aint too bad coz ur ill already but all courses afterwards u feel worse and get side effects coz theyre givin u chemo while you're comparatively well), and the chemicals do transmit through semen. The oral stuff wont be a problem (or wasnt for me) because its not intense at all. Chances are that your boyfriend may not feel up to having sex a lot, i usually just sorted my fiance out i didnt think it was fair that she'd be frustrated that way because i was ill and didnt feel into sex.

The chemicals in chemo stay in you for a while, i and the doctors found (through tests) that a good indicator for when the body is chemical free is when urine goes clear like normal, with the chemicals it appears more cloudy, mine went clear about 4-6 weeks after id finished my last course.

Hope this is clear as im bad with words.

Reply 17

yoohoo

OP

matt19850

I went through chemo last year, the only reason theyll be telling him to wear a condom is that the chemo chemicals can really make you ill if you're not already (like the 1st course of chemo aint too bad coz ur ill already but all courses afterwards u feel worse and get side effects coz theyre givin u chemo while you're comparatively well), and the chemicals do transmit through semen. The oral stuff wont be a problem (or wasnt for me) because its not intense at all. Chances are that your boyfriend may not feel up to having sex a lot, i usually just sorted my fiance out i didnt think it was fair that she'd be frustrated that way because i was ill and didnt feel into sex.

The chemicals in chemo stay in you for a while, i and the doctors found (through tests) that a good indicator for when the body is chemical free is when urine goes clear like normal, with the chemicals it appears more cloudy, mine went clear about 4-6 weeks after id finished my last course.

Hope this is clear as im bad with words.

cheers for that, he had mentioned the 4-6 weeks thing before but obviously thats not going to be the case for a while, as hes having uv once a month for 3 years - thats why i was asking if it wud still be the case with the less intense doses.
because he had a regime of different chemos every 3 months he knew after the first cycle which would make him feel ill/achey/tired etc. thankfully that was quite a small amount of the time (when considering he was having chemo pretty much every week for over a year) and so we both knew wen he wouldnt be feeling up to it. xx

Reply 18

Sephrenia

16

I don't have any advice for this thread, I just wanted to say well done for sticking with him. It's nice to hear that there are people like you out in the world :hugs:

Good on you! :hugs:

sex + chemo

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