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9th Mar: Are you guilty? Watch

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    This week on The Surgery, we’re talking about feeling guilty or shameful.

    If you’re feeling like this - why? Maybe you’re feeling guilty about something you’ve done that you know was wrong, or maybe you’re ashamed about things you shouldn’t be! Whatever it is, we want to help you to feel positive and proud,so put your questions here, and we’ll try to answer them live on Radio 1 on Wednesday night at 9pm.

    Just to let you know that you can post anonymously here!
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    6 years on, I still feel guilty about an abusive relationship I was in around this time in 2010. People act like/say I couldn't have known/consented to what was going on, but I see/feel/re-experience things very different from them. I feel complicit in my own abuse

    I've been in therapy twice (not specifically for the relationship abuse issue, but for the resulting mental health problems that developed during/post-relationship) and have worked with quite a few different priests and hospital chaplains and have tried very hard to get over the relationship and to stop feeling so guilty all the time... but once it hits February, each year I just get overwhelmed again
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    Just to lighten the mood from that ^
    The 9th is my birthday! Yay! Cake!
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    (Original post by BBC Radio 1)
    This week on The Surgery, we’re talking about feeling guilty or shameful.

    If you’re feeling like this - why? Maybe you’re feeling guilty about something you’ve done that you know was wrong, or maybe you’re ashamed about things you shouldn’t be! Whatever it is, we want to help you to feel positive and proud,so put your questions here, and we’ll try to answer them live on Radio 1 on Wednesday night at 9pm.

    Just to let you know that you can post anonymously here!
    I put my hand in the cookie jar and never took it out.
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    (Original post by BarryBeTrippin)
    I put my hand in the cookie jar and never took it out.
    Your typing game must be raw.
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    I ate a pizza and chips, felt like a squidgy ball and then the next day i had pizza and chips again... and felt chubby, AGAIN!
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    Truthfully, I feel guilty and shameful about having OCD. I feel guilty for having it and for my family and partner for having to deal with it plus I feel excessive guilt and shame as a symptom of it as well. I know that no one should ever feel guilty or shameful for having an illness, mental or physical, especially when you had no control of developing the illness but when it happens to you, it is different. Its hard to remove the shameful label from yourself but if anyone else said they were ashamed for having an illness, you would slap them for being so silly! I think maybe its pride that gets in the way when its you. I feel guilty for my mum having a daughter who is ill even though she has OCD herself so she knows what it is like though hers was never as severe as mine and I have extreme guilty feelings towards my partner sometimes as he is basically my carer a lot of the time. He says that when you love someone, you take the good and the bad and that is true and he is always there for me and never makes me feel like a burden but the guilt remains.

    I'm currently in therapy for OCD, which tbh, should have happened years before now but better late than never and I am hoping that finally sets me on the right path to not only controlling the condition but also accepting that I have it and that it is nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about.
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    I feel guilty for not being successful. As a man, that's the only valutaion of myself in society. Especially by my parents. My parents hate me if I do not achieve an a/a*, for example when I got my GCSEs (1a*,5as,3bs) there was a huge argument (as I wasn't appreciative enough of the dinner)and my brother accidently hit me in the face causing a scar(yeah I could have been more respectful but still). I also feel guilty for my subjects, my parents do not support me in choosing politics for uni, as they want me to do law very badly, but I hate it. My school are pretty much the same and I had to see teachers etc because I wasn't getting enough a*s. But, such is life, and it probably won't make a difference in poltics as I have the enthusiam or if that fails I'd start my own business, so it doesn't matter.
    On a side note, I also feel guilty for being tired. I often fall asleep in lessons etc, I tried to speak to my GP about the issue but they were useless and just tested me for a load of infections. I do get enough sleep, 8-9 hours, but I feel like I haven't slept for days. I feel that this is my fault for not sleeping longer, but I'm not too sure.
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    I have had Pot Noddles every day for the past few weeks and am not eating the lunches my mumma made for me... yes I'm 22 haha!!!

    But yes, slight pang of guilt there....
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    I spend way too much (of my parents') money and do not make enough effort to speak to my family.
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    I have an offer from a top university and seem to have everything going for me in life despite doing some pretty horrible stuff, which seems to have gone completely unpunished. This is made even worse by the fact the victims of what I did seem to be in the exact opposite position which I feel partially responsible for.
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    I always feel a bit guilty if I eat a huge bag of M&Ms and don't go for a run after...

    M&Ms are just so good though!
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    i just feel so sorry for people with just one or two green gems... it must be awful for them to face that huge mountain each day.
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    (Original post by BBC Radio 1)
    This week on The Surgery, we’re talking about feeling guilty or shameful.

    If you’re feeling like this - why? Maybe you’re feeling guilty about something you’ve done that you know was wrong, or maybe you’re ashamed about things you shouldn’t be! Whatever it is, we want to help you to feel positive and proud,so put your questions here, and we’ll try to answer them live on Radio 1 on Wednesday night at 9pm.

    Just to let you know that you can post anonymously here!
    Nearly sat on a bunch of staples that were clumped together (like 4 or mine) and just slid them across the floor in drama
    Like 2 minutes later across the room my old best mate knelt on them and had to go to hospital
    The drama teachers old form class got the blame for being messy
    I feel kind of guilty for not just picking them up since she got a big scar and had to get shots but to be fair it was still partly the teachers form classes fault that they were on the floor in the first place 😂
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    (Original post by BBC Radio 1)
    This week on The Surgery, we’re talking about feeling guilty or shameful.

    If you’re feeling like this - why? Maybe you’re feeling guilty about something you’ve done that you know was wrong, or maybe you’re ashamed about things you shouldn’t be! Whatever it is, we want to help you to feel positive and proud,so put your questions here, and we’ll try to answer them live on Radio 1 on Wednesday night at 9pm.

    Just to let you know that you can post anonymously here!
    I blew £10,000 of my parents money betting. This was 5 years ago now. Fortunately, I have sorted my life out, got a job, and paid off the debts I owed to my parents.

    Top tip: never let your parents down like I did; it was a heartbreaking time for everyone involved as my family are far from rich
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    I think most of us carry some form of guilt or shame about things we have done (or not done).

    It can be easy for other people to tell us that we shouldn't feel that way, but another to be able to take that on board and change how we feel.

    I was in an abusive relationship – a long time ago now –but I still struggle with the impact it has on my life now both emotionally and on my relationships with people. There are a lot of ‘what ifs’ and ‘I should have…’.

    I saw this the other day, which pretty much sums me up:

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    I'm not someone that "does" hugs - no matter who it is. If I can stretch my arms out and touch you, you're in my space and are too close, which can probably make me seem quite cold / closed off / distant - I'm not, I just get upset and freak out a bit (in my head) when people touch me, but I feel bad that I'm not "normal" and that it's such a big deal to me.

    I had a baby from that relationship who was stillborn. When it happened, I was completely alone – I had moved to pretty much the middle of nowhere with the intention of starting over and leaving everything about my life behind – which was all well and good until then. I will always feel guilty about what happened; that I should have noticed something was wrong sooner, shouldn’t have moved to where I did, and about a hundred other things I could / should have done differently that might have meant things didn’t turn out as they did.

    This isn't meant as a :nopity: post - I think how you respond to your feelings of guilt / shame is important.

    If you feel guilty about something you could genuinely have done differently and you have the opportunity to be able to try and change things or admit what you did – like you took something that didn’t belong to you, didn’t tell the truth, etc. – then you should. If you feel guilty / ashamed about something outside of your control, then I think it’s important to try and make peace with it somehow and not let it destroy you (which can be easier said than done).
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    Not guilty about anything, because I move on with my life. Yes there have been things that I've done/said and regretted, but do I dwell on them? No. You can't go back and change whatever you did.

    Just on move on.
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    I feel guilty that I leave everything to the last minute.
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    I have not really felt guilt since something terrible I did when I was much younger.

    My question is whether you think someone can have good mental health if they are incapable of feeling guilt.
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    Bought my SO a tub of Ben & Jerry's Peanut Butter Cups ice cream for Valentine's day.... gave it to him, he always eats just a little bit at a time to make it last. I ate the whole rest of the tub by myself in one sitting when he wasn't there :ashamed: Still not been forgiven.
 
 
 
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