Friend acting distant all of a sudden

One of my friends, who i met through an ex bf, used to speak to me practically every day on the inernet. Everyone assumed he fancied me, but it didn't make any differance to me whether he did or didn't.

Anyway, we've never really seen much of each other in real life, only a few times - we've basically got to know each other through talking online.

Anyway, he invited me to a gathering with his mates the other week - a drinking session if you like, and as the gathering didn't start until later on that night, i spent some time with him at his house by ourselves. Now when we were with each other, we didn't really know what to say to each other - and the atmosphere was kind of uncomfortable cause we just didn't know what to say, and there was nothing to do!

Since then, he hasn't spoken to me online at all! Which is very unusual for him....can anyone explain his actions? I have my own theory as to what it might be, but i'd like to hear your comments too.

Reply 1

BlibBlob

OP

anyone?

Reply 2

Girl♥RadioHeart

12

Hey Jane,

Maybe he is finding it difficult to view you as a real person, however odd it may sound. Talking to someone on the internet provides protection, security to be the real you without fear of ridicule. If you make a muppet of yourself there are so many ways to escape, unlike in real life...

Perhaps this guy felt uncomfortable beacuse he does like you and is just shy with girls? It happens! Maybe he didn't know how to act...

There is also a possibility that you have exasperated every conversation known to man online! Maybe he genuinley didn't know what to say!

Any more info you can give me to help further?

Jodie

Reply 3

Sanity Panda

I'm interested in hearing what you think may be the problem. Do you still see him online these days, or is he usually offline sort of thing when you mention that you don't talk that often anymore?

It really is possible that you didn't click so he stopped talking... perhaps?

Reply 4

daggy

Hello, Jane? << or is that just after the shop?
Erm Who is usually more forward in the msn conversations? I think he was maybe expecting you to take the lead or act the same was as you do online. Obviously he likes/liked you as he invited you to his party..

What's your theory on the matter?

xx

Reply 5

BlibBlob

OP

Hey Everyone, thanks for your respone.

In answer to your questions,

Sanity Panda

I'm interested in hearing what you think may be the problem. Do you still see him online these days, or is he usually offline sort of thing when you mention that you don't talk that often anymore?

It really is possible that you didn't click so he stopped talking... perhaps?

When he used to speak to me, he was always on msn as 'appear offline', and i'd be 'online'. There were also occasions where i'd be as 'appear offline', and so would he, and he would guess that i was there, and the conversation would start with us both as 'appear offline'. He ALWAYS spoke first.

daggy

Hello, Jane? << or is that just after the shop?
Erm Who is usually more forward in the msn conversations? I think he was maybe expecting you to take the lead or act the same was as you do online. Obviously he likes/liked you as he invited you to his party..

What's your theory on the matter?

We'll as i previously said, he always spoke to me first. Sometimes i might load up msn and there would be an offline message from him asking if i was there from say 10 minutes ago. In the conversations themselves, we both took the lead. It isn't really one or the other.

My theory is that he did fancy me, and at the time we spoke a lot online, but since the party when we didn't know what to say or do, he thinks i'm boring and isn't interested anymore in speaking to me. Us speaking to each other every day was kind of like part of our daily schedules, lol. It was weird when we ddn't speak!

(Yes Jane is after the shop :P)

Reply 6

princesshannah1986

Yeah but still to suddenly stop talking to you is a bit dramatic.Why dont you email him and ask him if you have done something wrong. Let him know that you miss chatting online. It could just have been awkward because you spoke so much online that there was nothing left to talk about?

Reply 7

--

3

It sounds as though he realised that there wasn't actually any chemistry there between you (not just romantic chemistry). Your friendship was only based on talking through the internet, something which can be quite false, so when he actually spent some time with you he must have just found it incredibly uncomfortable and realised that you both didn't actually get on in reality and so he's cut contact.

Reply 8

Sanity Panda

That or hes avoiding you because of the uncomfortable conversation, it can be a rather strange experience moving from online communication to real life communication.

The whole fancy and realising there was no chemistry sort of makes sense, and doesn't make sense. One would think that whether he was attracted to your or not doesn't have any influence on your friendship and chatting together.

Best methods is to ask him, if it is really the former then he'll eventually get around it.

There is one question I'd like to ask, has there ever been a point where he or you commented on the fact that you were running out of conversation topics, or that he didn't really know what to say online?

Reply 9

BlibBlob

OP

Sanity Panda

There is one question I'd like to ask, has there ever been a point where he or you commented on the fact that you were running out of conversation topics, or that he didn't really know what to say online?

If i remember correctly, it only happened once, and we've been talking online for about 7 months.

Reply 10

BlibBlob

OP

Anyone else with any ideas? :s-smilie:

Reply 11

Sanity Panda

You could honestly try asking him the reason why he has contacted you and ask for the real reason if you think he might shift it to something else.

It doesn't make sense at all why you would cut connection with someone unless he was only friends just for romantic purpose which is kinda sucky. I don't think its that though.

Pray that its due to the awkward conversations I guess? You and him can fix that if thats the case.

Friend acting distant all of a sudden

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