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    I have been trying to find a girl since january and I've dated like 15-20 women. Maybe 10 were Tinder dates but from my uni. Non of them have worked and like 5 of them got to second dates. Is this normal? Am I doing something wrong here? Why do they date me in the first place if they're not interested?
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    (Original post by TrotskyiteRebel)
    I have been trying to find a girl since january and I've dated like 15-20 women. Maybe 10 were Tinder dates but from my uni. Non of them have worked and like 5 of them got to second dates. Is this normal? Am I doing something wrong here? Why do they date me in the first place if they're not interested?
    It's not that they're not interested. They likely felt that they didn't click with you.

    It's perfectly normal. Just don't give up.
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    (Original post by SecretDuck)
    It's not that they're not interested. They likely felt that they didn't click with you.

    It's perfectly normal. Just don't give up.
    You may have come across as different to how they initially saw you.
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    (Original post by TrotskyiteRebel)
    I have been trying to find a girl since january and I've dated like 15-20 women. Maybe 10 were Tinder dates but from my uni. Non of them have worked and like 5 of them got to second dates. Is this normal? Am I doing something wrong here? Why do they date me in the first place if they're not interested?
    Its normal to be honest to not find someone straight away or it could just be they didn't feel a connection on the date doesn't mean there is a problem.
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    Tbh, I think you are doing a lot better than most guys out there.

    Don't worry, you'll have chemistry with one girl soon and it will be at the right time.
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    I guess also some just want sex rather than something serious. How should i initiate for a relationship rather than just sex?
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    (Original post by TrotskyiteRebel)
    I guess also some just want sex rather than something serious. How should i initiate for a relationship rather than just sex?
    Ask them if they want anything serious before you meet? This is tinder we're talking about, some of the girls are probably annoyed at you for misleading them :lol:.

    'I went on TWO dates with him, TWO, he still didn't try to bed me '
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    No it's not normal, you should be able to get with at least half if not more of the girls you take on a date... the only explanation I can think of as to why it's not going well for you is that there is a massive incongruence between how you present yourself over tinder (and the girls you meet in person) to the time of the second date. As I don't know you personally I can't tell you what's causing this incongruence but I can give you an example of how such a situation can occur:

    1 - A man introduces himself to a girl in a cafe and they get talking throughout this conversation the woman develops the impression that this man is confident, funny, always presents himself well, has a deep love of animals and is caring. Because of these characteristics she agrees to go on a restaurant date with this guy.

    The guy arrives at the restaurant and she's already there waiting, but for some reason during this conversation the guy doesn't act as confident as he did the first time they met, in fact he seems a little nervous and unsure of himself.

    Now it's important to note that although this wouldn't be deal breaker it would create an incongruence effect whereby she becomes unsure as to why he's acting so differently and if he did this enough times she would come to the conclusion that he is not as confident as he made out thus reducing the amount of attraction she has for him.

    Now this a very basic example and is exaggerated to make it clearer. But basically what ever your doing when you meet them isn't being reflected when it comes to meeting up with them for a romantic encounter. The best thing you can do is think about what characteristics made them want to go on a date with you in the first place and to make sure you're not inadvertently suppressing it.
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    (Original post by thegohst)
    No it's not normal, you should be able to get with at least half if not more of the girls you take on a date... the only explanation I can think of as to why it's not going well for you is that there is a massive incongruence between how you present yourself over tinder (and the girls you meet in person) to the time of the second date. As I don't know you personally I can't tell you what's causing this incongruence but I can give you an example of how such a situation can occur:

    1 - A man introduces himself to a girl in a cafe and they get talking throughout this conversation the woman develops the impression that this man is confident, funny, always presents himself well, has a deep love of animals and is caring. Because of these characteristics she agrees to go on a restaurant date with this guy.

    The guy arrives at the restaurant and she's already there waiting, but for some reason during this conversation the guy doesn't act as confident as he did the first time they met, in fact he seems a little nervous and unsure of himself.

    Now it's important to note that although this wouldn't be deal breaker it would create an incongruence effect whereby she becomes unsure as to why he's acting so differently and if he did this enough times she would come to the conclusion that he is not as confident as he made out thus reducing the amount of attraction she has for him.

    Now this a very basic example and is exaggerated to make it clearer. But basically what ever your doing when you meet them isn't being reflected when it comes to meeting up with them for a romantic encounter. The best thing you can do is think about what characteristics made them want to go on a date with you in the first place and to make sure you're not inadvertently suppressing it.
    Thank you very much. This was quite helpful
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    Sometimes girl say ypu freaked me out by kissing me or that you are pushy. I don't get it, when i ask other people they say they kiss on the first date. Should i just not even touch them on the first date?!
    The other time my last date i did the same thing i did not even touch her but when we were saying goodbye she was like "really... You want to kiss me?" Out of nowhere and then I said yes so we kissed for like 10 seconds. My intentions are good. I want to have someone to love and be totally committed to and respect and take care of. Maybe that isn't enough idk. Maybe im misunderstood and come across as a ****boy.
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    Wow you've been on more dates than I have in my whole life. Not a single tinder date.

    You're doing well, at least numbers wise?
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    Your date game must be pretty weak so just work on that.
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    If you've dated 15-20 since January that's a whole lot!

    It's about quality not quantity.

    If you're not already, I think it's easier to chat to them a bit first to see if you'd actually want to meet up with them.

    Rather than 'hi, I'm breathing and I noticed you breathe as well so let's date?' < not saying you do this by the way XD
 
 
 
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