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HELP - my boyfriend wants to stay in hometown but I can't stand it??? watch

    • Thread Starter

    I met my boyfriend nearly 4 years ago when I was 16 and he was 18
    We fell in love straight away and always talked about how we wanted to live our lives together- both of us agreed that we wanted to move an hour up the road to a bigger city that was more culturally suited to our interests. Since then we both started working boring minimum wage jobs just to tide us by until we could move. We also recently started part time degrees with the OU to help us work towards our ideal careers.
    I am unhappy living here. I still think that BOTH of us would be far happier studying in our favourite city, but for some reason he won't go.
    Early last year we almost did move but something happened in my family which made us put it off a bit longer.

    Last year we bought a small house together just to get us on the ladder. We also have a dog.

    I don't want to leave him because I love him with all my heart and it would kill the both of us, but I also love myself. I've asked him multiple times why he has changed his mind but he just gets angry and changes the subject, so I don't think he knows how much this means to me.

    I can't wait 6+ years and also by that time we will be starting our careers and will be a lot older- I want to move whilst we can still have fun!
    Sorry this is so long
    Please help
    • TSR Support Team

    TSR Support Team
    Sounds like you need to talk to him. Seems odd that he gets angry whenever you mention it unless there is something he doesn't want to talk about.

    Sit him down with a bit of warning about what you want to talk about and get to the bottom of why he doesn't want to move, then you can decide what is more important to you.

    You need to speak to him. You don't want to wake up in 20 years time and think "oh ****, where did my life go?" and realise you're still stuck in the same town.

    My aunt wanted to join the military when she was 18, but her boyfriend at the time kept saying "what about me?" and she stayed with him instead of following her dreams, and she maintains to this day that it was the biggest mistake of her life. She loves him and their two (grown up now) kids, but there's no cure for the lingering ache of regret.

    I've been with my partner for a number of years now; he doesn't really want to leave Wales. However, if my job posted me to another part of the country, or the world, and he didn't want to go...well, we'd just have to live separately, because love is not a good enough reason to compromise on your dreams.

    I hope you manage to get it figured out; it's not easy, but he needs to at least have a conversation with you about it otherwise he's not being fair.
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