Official AQA German AS

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Hey

Don't panic so much about word count, in my mock the other day i know at least 2/3 of us wrote in the region of 350 words for the essay bit haha.

I think your main issue here is still the content - your points are a bit unclear in places and often repeated, I will cite some examples:

, dass man ohne Beruf deprimiert werden kann, weil Geld eine wichtige Rolle für uns spielt. Zum Beispiel wenn wir einen Beruf haben, können wir ein hohes Gehalt verdienen.

This point is a bit all over the place. You say that a job is important for money because money plays important role = good but then you give a weird example of having a job which gives you a high salary. The better thing to do there would be to say "when one has a good salary/income whatever, you can afford bills, free time activities, long distance holidays." or something along those lines; as that would also improve the vocabulary.

Then the rest of the paragraph just seems to repeat the point that it's better to have a job because of being able to buy things; think of another point instead do not recycle the same stuff. This also applies to words - you keep using Beruf which is understandable but show the examiner you know other terms (I saw you use Stelle so wd!) like Karriere also.

The same applies to the private life paragraph - you just seem to reiterate the same point and use the word Privatleben ; give specific examples of the benefits e.g. time to exercise or to spend socialising with friends or exploring new talents such as yoga, meditation or whatever. I read your last essay again and that gave more specific examples and vocab like Verantwortung etc. which would've been better.

Your grammar is still good and you have used the subjunctive but you need to use it more and maybe the passive. As an off the whim guess:

Vocab - 3/5
Grammar - 3 or 4/5
Accuracy - 3 or 4/5
Content - 15 or 16/20

So top end guesstimate = 27/35 and lower end = 24/35.

I could just be reading into it too harshly but that's what I'd guess :tongue:

Reply 61

Asolare

I did admittedly skim a bit of this but this does look a lotttttttttt betterrrrrr than before. I think you should consider maybe balancing the arguments (e.g. in paragraph 2 you mention about how a job helps you to pay for stuff and as such, but maybe put it on the flip side and show that having a job can cause stress and breakdown relationships etc) cause that'll affect content mark too.

But yes there's much more varied vocab, more varied grammar and content is a lot better.

I would guess again:

Content: 17/20
Grammar: 4/5
Vocab: 4 or 5/5 I'm not certain.
Accuracy: 3 or 4 out of 5.

So low level estimate: 28/35, high level: 30/35

Oh yeah be careful because here you've put:

zB neue Aktivitäten oder Rechnungen

You need to add verbs e.g. Aktivitäten zu tun oder Rechnungen zu behalen, it won't make sense otherwise!!
--
These are only educated guesses and pieces of advice btw, I'm still a student myself. But thank you for the compliment also :smile:

Also would you like me to explain the passive?

Reply 62

Asolare

Okay so I'll explain a few things first:

Subject = performs a verb in a sentence.
Object = receives the action of a verb.
Ex: The man hits the boy, the man is doing the hitting (subject) and the boy is being hit (object).

When you transoform a sentence from the active to the passive you make the object the subject, like so.

Active: The man hits the woman.
Passive: The woman is being hit (by the man)

German example:

Active: Der Mann schlägt die Frau.
Passive: Die Frau wird (von dem Mann) geschlagen.

To form it you need to use the form of werden + the past participle of the other verb.
--
Err you'd have to actually try and think in your essays about where you could use an example, but for the one about jobs you could say something like "Financial security is being created (through jobs)" > Finanzielle Sicherheit wird (durch Stellen) geschaffen.

Reply 63

Asolare

Yeah it should help your grammar a lot :smile:

Good luck and np.

Reply 64

mollielollipop

Original post by Inexorably

I had my speaking today!!!

In good news I DIDNT LOSE MY VOICE MY THROAT IS STILL SORE BUT I MANAGED TO DO FINE yay
In some bad news I was initially offered 2 cards of which one I couldn't take because I chose it as my topic...woops.

I did card A (on music...which was actually pretty uhh difficult woops) and i was asked on my chosen topic (Gesund Leben) + werbung and familie
--
I almost cried because i kept saying "UMM AHH UMM" so ****ing often and as soon as the tape stopped recording i slammed my head down on the desk and said IM SO SORRY I SAID UMM SO OFTEN IM SORRY IT WAS BAD

i asked the teacher if she could guess where id be and she said definitely within top 2 grades, but she wouldn't give me an exact

so yay

Hi, do you know what topics the 6 cards were on for speaking?

Reply 65

Asolare

Original post by mollielollipop

Hi, do you know what topics the 6 cards were on for speaking?

Musik
Family & Relationships (about Grandparents I think)
Kommunikationstechologie - Webshopping or something
Urlaub
I think healthy eating was another

Not sure of the other one :smile:

Reply 66

username613045

I hope everyone who has their speaking exam tomorrow does well. I'm just so worried that my mind will go completely blank and I'll freeze up. Hopefully no-one from AQA will be there, just my teacher :smile:

Reply 67

Farmerjj

Hi,
Does this make sense please?
und normalerweise wirklich unterscheidet sich von traditionellen Sportarten oder ein neues Nehmen auf einen traditionellen Sport
and normally really different from traditional sports or a new take on a traditional sport

Thanks

Reply 68

Asolare

Original post by Farmerjj

It doesn't really make sense in English :redface:

can you give the whole sentence for context?

Reply 69

greentron6

With less than 2 weeks to go with exams. How are you guys preparing for the listening, reading and writing?

Reply 70

username613045

Original post by greentron6

With less than 2 weeks to go with exams. How are you guys preparing for the listening, reading and writing?

We're doing a lot of exam questions in class and we're doing a timed mock of a full exam on Monday. Fun times! :smile:

German is definitely my hardest subject to revise for because I don't know how to revise for it.

Reply 71

greentron6

Original post by horsewithnoname

We're doing a lot of exam questions in class and we're doing a timed mock of a full exam on Monday. Fun times! :smile:

German is definitely my hardest subject to revise for because I don't know how to revise for it.

True. Are these exam questions from past papers?

Reply 72

Farmerjj

Original post by Inexorably

It doesn't really make sense in English :redface:

can you give the whole sentence for context?

Sorry here you go,
Ich bin der Meinung, dass ein Trendsport sehr neu sowie auch modern ist und normalerweise wirklich unterscheidet sich von traditionellen Sportarten oder ein neues Nehmen auf einen traditionellen Sport
I am of the opinion, that a trendsport is very new aswell as modernand normally really different from traditional sports or a new take on a traditional sport

Reply 73

username613045

Original post by greentron6

True. Are these exam questions from past papers?

Yes, from 2014

Reply 74

Asolare

Original post by Farmerjj

Ah okay I see, thanks. I wouldn't use the word wirklich here as it sounds a bit odd, I think völlig would be better.

Ich bin der Meinung, dass ein Trendsport sehr neu sowie auch modern ist und normalerweise unterscheidet sich völlig von traditionellen Sportarten oder bietet ein neues Nehmen auf einen traditionellen Sport.

I also amended the word order and added bieten (which means to offer/offers) to make the last part of the sentence sound like it makes sense.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 75

Farmerjj

Original post by Inexorably

Thank you

Reply 76

NGMCupcake246

Anyone remember what the darn Musik card was on lol??? I got that an the grandparents one, did the latter (obviously), but my friend asked me this morning what the other one was and now I'm going crazy cause I can't for the life of me remember lol...??

Reply 77

greentron6

Original post by NGMCupcake246

I think it had something to do with a music academy...

Reply 78

Themathgeek

I am terrified for Mine!

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Reply 79

Asolare

Original post by NGMCupcake246

Original post by greentron6

I think it had something to do with a music academy...

It was about a new music academy and all of the things they would be teaching; it also mentioned the influence of music stars and how they could help the students. I believe the final question asked you about a musician that you liked or something.

I should really know more as I chose that card, but lmao.

It was a very difficult card.