The Student Room Group

worst break up :(

hi, basically iv been going out with this guy 4 5 months....and it was quite serious like we went on hol together, went through health difficulties and just generally went through a lot together so it seemed a lot longer than 5 months....but for the last couple of weeks iv been quite stressed due to moving house, and trying to get into uni to avoid moving out of the country and exams. We started arguing a bit more than our usual silly arguments...but i told him it would all be alright when i got into uni as I wouldnt be stressed.
A few days ago i finally got an offer and i thought he was really happy that I'd be staying close by to him, he seemed happy but when I rang him the next day to ask if he wanted 2 go out that night, he just said 'no i cant'....'because I think I've fallen out of love with you'...'its not my fault and I'm really sorry'...and that was it.
He didnt answer his phone for the rest of the day and the next day. He finally answered yesterday and we talked but his feelings were still the same.
This all happen the weekend just gone, and last week i slept round his and he kept saying how much he loved me.
I'm so confused its such a shock, we were together nearly all the time...I can't stop crying and I'm really depressed...I just can't see a way out. I love him so much and I'm never going to be with him again. Why has he done this to me? and is there any way of getting him back? (because a part of me thinks he does love me cos you cant just say that a week ago and not mean it) :s-smilie:
...thanks 4 reading.

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Reply 1
Same thing happened to me, really similar actually (apart from all the uni stuff). One day he was just like 'yeah I don't love you anymore, go away'. Out of nowhere. It sucks. No cure for it but time.
Times a great healer! (Sorry for the cliche, but its sooo true!). Plus im not saying this happened in this case cos im not a mind-reader but sometimes ppl do just fall out of love and sometimes ppl do say they love you when they dont. Chin up Chuck, you can get thru this! x
Yeah time is the only healer, sadly people's feelings do change quite quickly.
Reply 4
Focus on your future, and put all your efforts into your friends! When me and my Bf broke up i made an effort to spend time with my mates, and they are the reason i got through it all! Time will make things better! xxx
Reply 5
puppy
Same thing happened to me, really similar actually (apart from all the uni stuff). One day he was just like 'yeah I don't love you anymore, go away'. Out of nowhere. It sucks. No cure for it but time.


Me too! It was ****. OP, please don't do what I did and lose all your dignity with futile attempts at getting him back :frown:
Reply 6
Happened to me too after 15 months. Yeah, it sucks, but I don't want to be with someone who doesn't love me, despite loving them.

Plus, found out today that there was someone else involved (although of course she said there wasn't anyone else, especially the guy I suspected) as she's finally announced she's "in a relationship" with him. Pfft, I hate always being right.

Just makes me realise I'm soooo much better off without her, despite feeling a little more vulnerable today than I have done for about a month. You'll get through it though, promise. I just wish I didn't have finals coming up in two weeks so I could go out and have some fun and spend some time on me and my mates! My advice is to spend some time being happy with just yourself and your mates. You don't need a relationship to be happy with yourself, so don't jump into another one to try to fill a void that's been created (and yes, I'll stick my hand up and say I've been guilty of that one myself). I've got a fantastic holiday planned with my mates though and am starting a new job in London next year, so I've got loads of things to look forward to and work towards. Have you got anything you could target towards? Say uni or a job or even a fabtastic (it should be a word!) night out with good friends?
Reply 7
i don't want time though...I want him.
I could be looking forward to uni but this is all making me think twice about going....and I don't think I will even pass my exams now because I can't concentrate.
I'm not going to contact him for a week in the hope that he might miss me...
I changed my myspace and took him off...he logged on and changed his password so I can't access it but hasnt taken any of the pics or changed his status to single yet...i know its only myspace but this has confused me....I thought he would have taken it off...unless he's doing it because he misses me or...to torture me?
Reply 8
Firstly, he's just a bloke, you'll get over him eventually, don't be silly enough to throw away the rest of your life over it.

And don't read into the MySpace stuff, it probably doesn't mean a thing.
Reply 9
3232
Firstly, he's just a bloke, you'll get over him eventually, don't be silly enough to throw away the rest of your life over it.

And don't read into the MySpace stuff, it probably doesn't mean a thing.


I totally agree.

I know how you feel but if he doesn't love you, what point is there being with him? And love isn't something we have control over so it'd be pointless to try to change him mind or 'make him miss you'. Don't read too much into every little thing as it'll only get your hopes up unnecessarily. My best friend and I did that when my ex dumped me, everything he said in his text messages we analysed to the tiniest detail and we convinced ourselves he still had feelings for me. Erm.. he didn't. Don't torture yourself like that.

I know its hard but you just have to get on with your life. Loads of us have bad circumstances surrounding exams at some point (eg. my grandad's having very risky surgery tomorrow but I can't be there as I'm in an exam) but we just have to do the best we can. I'm concentrating on making Grandad proud, maybe you could concentrate on showing your ex what a nob he is by dumping someone as intelligent as you?

Don't throw away your future over this, uni will be a great opportunity to get away from the situation, meet loads of new people and have a great time! You just need to focus :smile:
Reply 10
XK-louX
i don't want time though...I want him.
I could be looking forward to uni but this is all making me think twice about going....and I don't think I will even pass my exams now because I can't concentrate.
I'm not going to contact him for a week in the hope that he might miss me...
I changed my myspace and took him off...he logged on and changed his password so I can't access it but hasnt taken any of the pics or changed his status to single yet...i know its only myspace but this has confused me....I thought he would have taken it off...unless he's doing it because he misses me or...to torture me?


I know this is far easier said than done, but stop looking at his myspace page. It's not helping you any. Every little thing he changes or doesn't change, whoever leaves or doesn't leave him a message... you're constantly going to be analysing his actions, asking yourself why. Don't do it to yourself.

I understand completely why it's getting to you, but you have to be stronger than that and be capable of just ignoring it all.
It's my life
Yeah time is the only healer, sadly people's feelings do change quite quickly.


only two often it does , but dont know why needs to be the case though!!
Reply 12
It will get easier with time hun! The same thing happened to me a few months ago, and after a few months of him wanting to get back together, me wanting us to get back visa versa, we have finally come to a just friends stage and its so much easier!! Honestly you will get over him and move on in time! xx
Reply 13
I can't even think about getting over him right now...because this time last week he was saying how much he loved me. I can't get my head around it. I have things at his house I need to get back and he has some things at mine. How long shall i leave it till i ring him again and ask to come and get my things?
and I will try not to analyse but lets face it..every girl does!
XK-louX
hi, basically iv been going out with this guy 4 5 months....and it was quite serious like we went on hol together, went through health difficulties and just generally went through a lot together so it seemed a lot longer than 5 months....but for the last couple of weeks iv been quite stressed due to moving house, and trying to get into uni to avoid moving out of the country and exams. We started arguing a bit more than our usual silly arguments...but i told him it would all be alright when i got into uni as I wouldnt be stressed.
A few days ago i finally got an offer and i thought he was really happy that I'd be staying close by to him, he seemed happy but when I rang him the next day to ask if he wanted 2 go out that night, he just said 'no i cant'....'because I think I've fallen out of love with you'...'its not my fault and I'm really sorry'...and that was it.
He didnt answer his phone for the rest of the day and the next day. He finally answered yesterday and we talked but his feelings were still the same.
This all happen the weekend just gone, and last week i slept round his and he kept saying how much he loved me.
I'm so confused its such a shock, we were together nearly all the time...I can't stop crying and I'm really depressed...I just can't see a way out. I love him so much and I'm never going to be with him again. Why has he done this to me? and is there any way of getting him back? (because a part of me thinks he does love me cos you cant just say that a week ago and not mean it) :s-smilie:
...thanks 4 reading.

It's best to put him behind you. Sounds like he's sure. ((Hugs)) At uni there'll be plenty of more fish in the sea. :wink:
Reply 15
been there, done that... it's horrible i know. t'was the first week of uni for my boyfriend. ahh freshers week. he asked me to stay with him all week because he didn't want to be left on his own.. so i did.

then, just before term started, he said 'i want to go on a break'.. i didn't want to, because we'd had a break before and it was horrid. so the next day on MSN (haha) he just went 'i don't love you anymore and i don't want to see you anymore. i'm sorry' and that was that.. of course, i saw him afterwards and he still couldn't give me a proper reason.

i dunno.. boys + uni = weirdos.
Reply 16
XK-louX
I can't even think about getting over him right now...because this time last week he was saying how much he loved me. I can't get my head around it. I have things at his house I need to get back and he has some things at mine. How long shall i leave it till i ring him again and ask to come and get my things?
and I will try not to analyse but lets face it..every girl does!


I know us girls have a tendency to try and overanalyse things, but for your own wellbeing, you have to make a real effort to stop!:smile:

Don't call him about your stuff until you feel up to it. When you can get through a day without crying, that's when you should be brave and call him. End of the day, it's only stuff. You can leave it until you're ready to face your ex-boyfriend again.
Same thing happened to me back when I was at school (I even posted on here about it) and at the time I felt awful, because the shock is sometimes the worst part, but as they say, time is the best healer, and it took me about a month to realise he did the right thing in breaking up. Once you see them without the rose-tinted specs you realise that they were never worth the fuss. I still don't know why the guy broke up with me, and I don't care, because I do know that I'm so glad he did, because I've had so much fun since then (and 2 boyfriends, including the current one :smile:) it seems like years and years ago! Trust me, you'll get over it in time. Just eat well, sleep well and have plenty of fun with your mates.
Reply 18
pumpkin7

i dunno.. boys + uni = weirdos.

Couldnt agree more. They must put something in the water.

If you want you boyfriend back, ask him what is wrong and try and work on it with him...but if he's not interested there isn't much you can :s-smilie:
Reply 19
XK-louX
I can't even think about getting over him right now...because this time last week he was saying how much he loved me. I can't get my head around it. I have things at his house I need to get back and he has some things at mine. How long shall i leave it till i ring him again and ask to come and get my things?
and I will try not to analyse but lets face it..every girl does!



I know this may not be the thing you want to hear, but people don't always mean it when they say 'I love you'. So its possible that he hasn't simply gone from being head-over-heels in love with you to completely rejecting you in a week. So don't analyse what he said last week, focus on what he said this week. If you try to analyse everything he said or did in the past week you'll just drive yourself crazy.