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Girl I like takes a long time to reply to my messages Watch

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    (Original post by Ethereal World)
    Brutal but true. As a girl, if I'm keen I'm keen. If I'm not I'm flaky. Not many girls actually play games when they genuinely really like a guy. I don't play games full stop but from most female friends I get the overwhelming impression that when a girl is genuinely into a guy they won't be evasive on the messaging front.
    Is this why you take so long to reply to me? :cry2:
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    (Original post by whorace)
    If she's interested you'd think she'd do absolutely anything to make it clear, nah people don't work like that, girls play hundreds of mind games. I've got a really dumb guy in my avatar but he's right about something, people don't like winning, if they did they wouldn't play games that undermine their success.
    I don't think this is a sex specific phenomenon. You also have to take into account people receive or believe in signals that aren't there whereas the other person might just be being friendly/care about that person/enjoy talking to them. That's why asking and having a discussion is necessary because it eliminates confusion and time wasting.
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    (Original post by Supersaps)
    If she's keen, she'll be messaging you. She's not keen at the moment.

    That said, people arn't binary. She may not know herself whether she likes you or not yet.


    Personally, I would stop trying to hit her with small talk as that's a riveting conversation for precisely no one if she's taking a week to reply to it.

    Tell her how you feel. And then don't message her for a while and leave the ball in her court then. She'll probably at least be flattered as long as you don't try to push it.


    Best of luck.

    SS
    I last sent her a message at the weekend so the ball is very much in her court at the moment. The ball was also in her court when a few weeks ago she sent me a message saying "hope you're ok not spoken in ages and miss our chats" so can you see why I'm confused? I message her she doesn't reply but then messages me days or a week later saying she misses talking to me.
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    (Original post by Ethereal World)
    I don't think this is a sex specific phenomenon. You also have to take into account people receive or believe in signals that aren't there whereas the other person might just be being friendly/care about that person/enjoy talking to them. That's why asking and having a discussion is necessary because it eliminates confusion and time wasting.
    It also destroys any passion, 'I like you' is way more boring than a risky kiss at a party, good memories are usually based on surpassing anxiety or barriers, if you make things too clear they lose the appeal.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I last sent her a message at the weekend so the ball is very much in her court at the moment. The ball was also in her court when a few weeks ago she sent me a message saying "hope you're ok not spoken in ages and miss our chats" so can you see why I'm confused? I message her she doesn't reply but then messages me days or a week later saying she misses talking to me.
    I'll be honest, plan A of just trying to strike up a conversation with her isn't going well. She doesn't seem to be into it or as into it as she was.

    I would say, go big or go home here. Tell her you like her or don't pester her. Sometimes telling a girl you like her is enough to get her to like you back even if she's not that into you.


    The plan of witty banter and conversation is not working, sir. Time to step it up or don't bother. Get in the mix! Be confident!

    SS
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I last sent her a message at the weekend so the ball is very much in her court at the moment. The ball was also in her court when a few weeks ago she sent me a message saying "hope you're ok not spoken in ages and miss our chats" so can you see why I'm confused? I message her she doesn't reply but then messages me days or a week later saying she misses talking to me.
    She thrives on control, she can ignore you whenever she wants but you respond immediately. It's a way to validate herself.
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    (Original post by whorace)
    It also destroys any passion, 'I like you' is way more boring than a risky kiss at a party, good memories are usually based on surpassing anxiety or barriers, if you make things too clear they lose the appeal.
    I don’t disagree with that but if it’s affecting you (like it is this guy) then transparency is the key to reducing resentment or upset. If you are okay with the risk of keeping it risky and thus increasing any likelihood of being hurt then that’s your decision. But people should take that onto themselves and accept their responsibility rather than blaming a girl/guy for ‘doing it to them’ or ‘leading them on’.
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    (Original post by Zargabaath)
    Is this why you take so long to reply to me? :cry2:
    awkwardddddd.

    Nah just busy bae.
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    If I like a guy or not, I will always reply if I have my phone on me. I don't wait hours or days just to get a response. Why? If I like the guy, and he's texted surely you reply back. Meh... People overthink too much.
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    (Original post by whorace)
    She thrives on control, she can ignore you whenever she wants but you respond immediately. It's a way to validate herself.
    So the next time she messages me I should leave it a while before replying?
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    (Original post by HmmIsIt)
    Why are you taking weeks to reply to my message?
    i actually don't know why i do this hmm
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So the next time she messages me I should leave it a while before replying?
    Force her hand. If she really wants you she will commit the *gasp* mortal sin of double texting.
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    (Original post by whorace)
    Did she have a joint bank account?
    :rofl: that pun doe
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    She's obviously not too interested. But I mean surely she's interested enough to still reply after so long? :dontknow:

    I'm guilty of replying late to people but if I'm not interested at all, I never reply.
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    (Original post by Lord Samosa)
    She's obviously not too interested. But I mean surely she's interested enough to still reply after so long? :dontknow:

    I'm guilty of replying late to people but if I'm not interested at all, I never reply.
    This is why I am confused I will send her a message and I see that she has read the message and she will still update her facebook and twitter and then finally reply days or a week later.
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    (Original post by Lord Samosa)
    She's obviously not too interested. But I mean surely she's interested enough to still reply after so long? :dontknow:

    I'm guilty of replying late to people but if I'm not interested at all, I never reply.
    This girl messaged me loads like every 15 minutes, anyway once I didn't respond for like a week, now she waits a week everytime, she mirrors my bloody texting :facepalm:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So the next time she messages me I should leave it a while before replying?
    The conventional wisdom is that if a girl is playing hard to get, you play harder to get and then somehow she likes you.


    What actually normally happens in this 'hard to get' arms race is that she'll continue to ignore you and you'll get more frustrated. Also, playing games is probably not the best way to start a relationship.


    Just tell her you fancy her and like talking to her, invite her out for a coffee or a drink. Don't rely on some shitey mind game to avoid doing what you need to do.
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    (Original post by whorace)
    This girl messaged me loads like every 15 minutes, anyway once I didn't respond for like a week, now she waits a week everytime, she mirrors my bloody texting :facepalm:
    Don't pretend you've ever spoken to a woman, WR.
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    Don't bother, just move on to another one. C'est la vie mon amis
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is why I am confused I will send her a message and I see that she has read the message and she will still update her facebook and twitter and then finally reply days or a week later.
    I'm gonna guess she like you as a friend, to want to reply even after a while. But she doesn't seem interested in you. It'd be best if you don't get too emotionally attached to her, you deserve someone who gives you as much attention as you give them.

    Just my two cents :beard:

    (Original post by whorace)
    This girl messaged me loads like every 15 minutes, anyway once I didn't respond for like a week, now she waits a week everytime, she mirrors my bloody texting :facepalm:
    Lol I hate when people mirror your response time, it's like "don't become a terrible texter like me!"

    I deserve it though most the time :ashamed:
 
 
 
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