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Is it wrong I spoil my boyfriend so much? Watch

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    I'm 18, gay, and my boyfriend is 16, also gay. I'm a first year uni student, he earns £250 a week on an apprenticeship. My family has a lot of money (I know I'm spoiled etc), and I buy him everything he wants.

    He seems very appreciative, but I don't want to ruin him. If something new comes out, I buy it for him, with all the games/accessories/extras there are. I buy him all the clothes he wants, gadgets, meals, coffee, show tickets, trading cards and anything else. I just want him to be happy and be able to have and do nice things. His parents don't mind at all and think it's sweet.

    We have a lot of fun, and we can do whatever we want, but is it wrong I'm doing this? Some people have been saying it's too much, that he will never appreciate anything ever again, and has less incentive to work, but so far I haven't seen anything like that.
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    are you his sugar daddy or boyfriend?
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    (Original post by mkap)
    are you his sugar daddy or boyfriend?
    His boyfriend; I'm only 18. We have fun together and he seems to want to be with me on a personal and emotional level.
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    (Original post by Glassjack)
    I'm 18, gay, and my boyfriend is 16, also gay. I'm a first year uni student, he earns £250 a week on an apprenticeship. My family has a lot of money (I know I'm spoiled etc), and I buy him everything he wants.

    He seems very appreciative, but I don't want to ruin him. If something new comes out, I buy it for him, with all the games/accessories/extras there are. I buy him all the clothes he wants, gadgets, meals, coffee, show tickets, trading cards and anything else. I just want him to be happy and be able to have and do nice things. His parents don't mind at all and think it's sweet.

    We have a lot of fun, and we can do whatever we want, but is it wrong I'm doing this? Some people have been saying it's too much, that he will never appreciate anything ever again, and has less incentive to work, but so far I haven't seen anything like that.
    It's up to you, I think that it's sweet and bound to make him feel valued and loved.

    It only becomes an issue if he starts to expect these things from you, rather than just appreciating it when you buy him things on your own accord. If he has been asking you for things on a regular basis then that's a sign that it's time to tone it down.
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    Spare the rod and spoil the child
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    (Original post by whorace)
    Spare the rod and spoil the child
    Proverbial quips are not helpful.
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    (Original post by WBZ144)
    It's up to you, I think that it's sweet and bound to make him feel valued and loved.

    It only becomes an issue if he starts to expect these things from you, rather than just appreciating it when you buy him things on your own accord. If he has been asking you for things on a regular basis then that's a sign that it's time to tone it down.
    Thanks for the post, it does seem to make him feel valued and loved, and he does seem to appreciate things. I don't usually care what people think, but some people at uni think I'm an idiot for doing this, which is making me question everything, especially looking to the future of our relationship.
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    Not at all, I love it when my right hand looks after me well.
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    (Original post by Ned Stark)
    Not at all, I love it when my right hand looks after me well.
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    I don't understand what you mean?
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    I think it's fine, just as long as he doesnt ask you to buy these things or expect you to, and that he is very appreciative.
    Also, does he buy you things/do nice things for you? For example I'm in uni and dont have much money whereas my boyfriend has a job and earns a fair bit, so if we go out or whatever he tends to pay (because otherwise we wouldnt go out...). However i make point of doing nice things for him that dont cost a lot, e.g. breakfast in bed or buying him a packet of his favourite sweets, which he really appreciatives. And every now and then i do take us out to do something nice with my own money, just because i dont want him to feel like he always pays.
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    (Original post by Glassjack)
    I don't understand what you mean?
    Not in a relationship -.-
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    (Original post by LiquidGold)
    I think it's fine, just as long as he doesnt ask you to buy these things or expect you to, and that he is very appreciative.
    Also, does he buy you things/do nice things for you? For example I'm in uni and dont have much money whereas my boyfriend has a job and earns a fair bit, so if we go out or whatever he tends to pay (because otherwise we wouldnt go out...). However i make point of doing nice things for him that dont cost a lot, e.g. breakfast in bed or buying him a packet of his favourite sweets, which he really appreciatives. And every now and then i do take us out to do something nice with my own money, just because i dont want him to feel like he always pays.
    He does nice things for me, but doesn't buy me much, except little things or on special occasions. I'm used to this and I don't mind that he doesn't pay/buy anything, as I have the ability to and I don't want him to spend a lot of his money. Of course his spending on me is nowhere near the amount I spend on him at all.

    It's good you do things for him that don't cost a lot/nothing, I guess that's what my boyfriend does for me.
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    (Original post by Glassjack)
    He does nice things for me, but doesn't buy me much, except little things or on special occasions. I'm used to this and I don't mind that he doesn't pay/buy anything, as I have the ability to and I don't want him to spend a lot of his money. Of course his spending on me is nowhere near the amount I spend on him at all.

    It's good you do things for him that don't cost a lot/nothing, I guess that's what my boyfriend does for me.
    Well he is 16 so it makes sense really. He probably doesn't have as much money lying around. I agree with the other posters in that it's fine as long as it doesn't reach a point where he's expecting these things from you..
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    (Original post by lubsjk)
    Well he is 16 so it makes sense really. He probably doesn't have as much money lying around. I agree with the other posters in that it's fine as long as it doesn't reach a point where he's expecting these things from you..
    Thanks for the support; I thought I'd be receiving all negative posts. In a day I'll spend hundreds of pounds on him, or more, and some people I know are saying I'm just being a moron and he's just using me. You're right in that he's 16, I want him to keep the money he earns and not have to worry about it.
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    (Original post by Glassjack)
    Thanks for the support; I thought I'd be getting all negative posts. In a day I'll spend hundreds of pounds on him, or more, and some people I know are saying I'm just being a moron and he's just using me. You're right in that he's 16, I want him to keep the money he earns and not have to worry about it.
    I think maybe a few hundred pounds in one day is probably a bit too much. Don't overdo it. Buying him gifts and taking him out for dinner is fine but a few hundred in one day only? My main worry would be that he gets way too used to this lifestyle and so when he starts getting his own money, he could still expect you to buy everything..

    Spending money on him is fine... I would take a step back if I was in your position though. He kinda has to earn it, you know? Don't just throw money at him..

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    (Original post by Glassjack)
    Thanks for the support; I thought I'd be receiving all negative posts. In a day I'll spend hundreds of pounds on him, or more, and some people I know are saying I'm just being a moron and he's just using me. You're right in that he's 16, I want him to keep the money he earns and not have to worry about it.
    I know your parents are wealthy but you are at uni so you need to look after yourself, do you work?
    My friend earns more than me and she always insists on paying lunch for me and doesn't listen when i say ill pay.
    How often in a month do you spend on him? personally there is no need to get him the latest technology as soon as it comes out.
    I don't think he is using you he is probably used to you paying for him like i am when my friend pays for me.
    It is sweet what you are doing but i would find it frustrating if someone kept paying for everything i bet you would buy him a car as well.
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    (Original post by chikane)
    I know your parents are wealthy but you are at uni so you need to look after yourself, do you work?
    My friend earns more than me and she always insists on paying lunch for me and doesn't listen when i say ill pay.
    How often in a month do you spend on him? personally there is no need to get him the latest technology as soon as it comes out.
    I don't think he is using you he is probably used to you paying for him like i am when my friend pays for me.
    It is sweet what you are doing but i would find it frustrating if someone kept paying for everything i bet you would buy him a car as well.
    I don't work, but I don't need to. Yesterday I spent a few hundred pounds on clothes for him, so lots and lots per month, as you can imagine. Yeah I am planning on buying him a car; I don't think he finds it frustrating. Thanks for saying it's sweet; I want him to be happy, I just don't want him to lose motivation to do anything. He should have a good career ahead of him but I don't want to ruin his life somehow.
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    Yeah, I guess you are spoiling him. I know you know the answer but I think you can't help yourself because your in love.
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    (Original post by Glassjack)
    I don't work, but I don't need to. Yesterday I spent a few hundred pounds on clothes for him, so lots and lots per month. Yeah I am planning on buying him a car; I don't think he finds it frustrating. Thanks for saying it's sweet; I want him to be happy, I just don't want him to lose motivation to do anything. He should have a good career ahead of him but I don't want to ruin his life somehow.
    I'll be honest i wouldn't spend that much on myself nor would i expect others to as well. Its your money you can do whatever you want with it but it is excessive.
 
 
 
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