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Strict pakistani parents making me depressed? watch

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    This is anon bcos people know me on here and i want different opinions.

    Today walking down from uni, i was walking with a guy from my course just as friends. My parents walked past us as i was expecting them to anyway and then went shopping with them.
    My mum expressed her feelings to me pretty much there and then. My dad did later on. Saying how i dont care about anyone but myself and that i shouldnt be doing things like that because "what would people say?" I literally fricking hate that line so much. Who cares what people say. I mean seriously so many pakistani girls and guys go and do much worse than walking down the road with a friend. I have been in a relationship previously and they know that and i was dumped. From then i said to them that i wont engage in any relationship before marriage. And i wont. But why cant they understand that me and him are just friends? My dads overreaction is that if i fail my exams this year thats it hes pulling me out of uni to cook and clean in the house. No fricking way. At this point in time whenever i go to uni i hate coming home. Constant do this so that. Then when i do sot down to study they call me to something else. Then when i try and take a break i get moaned at tor not studyiny. I just dont understand the ****ing logic. Ughhhhh.

    I mean ive been feeling down a lot lately. For about a week now ive been feeling "depressed". At first i thought maybe because i was lonely, despite having a lot of people to talk to you can feel like that i guess. But its just been going on now and i dont know why. Like i understand my parents point of view on things. But theyre so narrowminded. I mean i wasnt smoking, or drinking or anything bad, was walking with a guy friend like honestly iy just gets to me how annoying they can be.

    Generally i just dont feel happy with anything.
    I am muslim, and i know islam has rules and regulations to he followed and im trying my best but i doubt islam says dont have male friends.
    Being muslim in this state of mind i try and pray and listen to Qur'an and soothe myself hut once i stop i go back to being in a down mood most of the time. Just feel so much pressure on myself.
    I end up crying at weirdest of times. I just start crying in my room while studying, in bed, in lectures, randomly in uni ill end up bursting into tears.

    Sorry for the long rant. But i just need some advice.
    Thanks for reading it u got this far
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    Is there any chance that you could move out? You're over 18 and so you could legally.
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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    Is there any chance that you could move out? You're over 18 and so you could legally.
    They werent ready to send me to a uni outside of the city doubt theyd let me kove out
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    They werent ready to send me to a uni outside of the city doubt theyd let me kove out
    Maybe when they're not home just pack your stuff quickly, leave a note saying that if they try to contact you you'll cut yourself off and if they carry on you'll call the police?
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    Smh at what would people say.

    I am Pakistani but thank **** I didn't have parents like that, I know people who do though. Religious Pakistani culture when it comes anything remotely involving gender mixing is backwards af. Reading your OP makes me angry lmao, your Dad in particular seems like sexist, ultra-traditional ballsack. However he can't "pull you out of Uni" or any of that ********, unless you need to rely on them for money he can't do ****, ignore his empty stupid threats. Don't segregate yourself from people regardless of gender and just ignore what your parents say. Ride it out and just pretend you agree with them and whatever, you're in no position to move out, that's a stupid fantasists idea. You won't be able to change your parents, this obsession with "but...but what will the community think" is ingrained into them.
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    this is why I hate south asians, if your dad tells u to leave uni tell him to **** off
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    Im half Pakistani, and if my parents acted like that My mum is from Lahore where women are "sort of" liberated, I mean they go university, not appointed to domestic duties etc. I think its where you come from, but im from a minority. A majority of Pakistani's are backwards who need to understand that they need to abandon their cultures "back home" and adopt to this new, liberated, freely endorsed culture we have here in Britian where equality is immersed everywhere. If they can't, deport them back home and move out. Simple.
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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    Maybe when they're not home just pack your stuff quickly, leave a note saying that if they try to contact you you'll cut yourself off and if they carry on you'll call the police?
    Lol no thanks.
    I mean i care for them a lot but the stuff they say sometimes ughhhh

    (Original post by somemightsay888)
    Smh at what would people say.

    I am Pakistani but thank **** I didn't have parents like that, I know people who do though. Religious Pakistani culture when it comes anything remotely involving gender mixing is backwards af. Reading your OP makes me angry lmao, your Dad in particular seems like sexist, ultra-traditional ballsack. However he can't "pull you out of Uni" or any of that ********, unless you need to rely on them for money he can't do ****, ignore his empty stupid threats. Don't segregate yourself from people regardless of gender and just ignore what your parents say. Ride it out and just pretend you agree with them and whatever, you're in no position to move out, that's a stupid fantasists idea. You won't be able to change your parents, this obsession with "but...but what will the community think" is ingrained into them.
    See i know that. And my sister says i need to stand up to them bcos i didnt do anything remotely wrong but when it comes to it i cant soeak hp.

    And the movinf out thing is a big no no for me anyway
    (Original post by SAhm95)
    this is why I hate south asians, if your dad tells u to leave uni tell him to **** off
    :yy:
    (Original post by Oblivion99)
    Im half Pakistani, and if my parents acted like that My mum is from Lahore where women are "sort of" liberated, I mean they go university, not appointed to domestic duties etc. I think its where you come from, but im from a minority. A majority of Pakistani's are backwards who need to understand that they need to abandon their cultures "back home" and adopt to this new, liberated, freely endorsed culture we have here in Britian where equality is immersed everywhere. If they can't, deport them back home and move out. Simple.
    Lolll ur last line.
    But yeah, i mean i just feel rrapped in a way.
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    You care about your dad even though he sounds like a sexist douche whose trying to pull you out of uni to cook and clean instead? That's exactly how parents get kids under control hun. It escalates after a while.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Lol no thanks.
    I mean i care for them a lot but the stuff they say sometimes ughhhh


    See i know that. And my sister says i need to stand up to them bcos i didnt do anything remotely wrong but when it comes to it i cant soeak hp.

    And the movinf out thing is a big no no for me anyway

    :yy:

    Lolll ur last line.
    But yeah, i mean i just feel rrapped in a way.
    ***** digusting. I really hope all goes well for you. Culture/religious are both two prespective legislations so dont get confused between the two (culture is worster, believe me). My aunty is full Pakistani, and is a women-rights activist in Islamabad. If you were back home and you held such oppositions, you'd be killed right now and thrown into a river (sadly its the insinuating truth).
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    Lol why do South Asians always complain about their parents/family?
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    why can i relate haha.. you could move out?
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    (Original post by al_94)
    Lol why do South Asians always complain about their parents/family?
    because they're not like your parents
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    Man I get what you're saying so much, I gave my number to this boy in my class because he was struggling with work and I told him to just message me when he is stuck on homework and my mum saw me texting him and then she went on this whole over dramatic rant and she was crying and saying I was dishonouring her and ruining her name and the respect she has etc (you know the typical Pakistani parent stuff) and then she said to me whenever I see you talk to a boy he is always white I never see you talk to Pakistani boys and then she started saying stuff like if you ever fall in love with a white boy you are not my daughter anymore (oops too late lol) and all this stuff and she basically emotionally abused me everyday for a week and made me out to be a disgusting whore and her the innocent mother whose daughter doesnt listen to her all because I told this guy what he had to do for homework ))) I genuinely hate my life lmfao
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is anon bcos people know me on here and i want different opinions.

    Today walking down from uni, i was walking with a guy from my course just as friends. My parents walked past us as i was expecting them to anyway and then went shopping with them.
    My mum expressed her feelings to me pretty much there and then. My dad did later on. Saying how i dont care about anyone but myself and that i shouldnt be doing things like that because "what would people say?" I literally fricking hate that line so much. Who cares what people say. I mean seriously so many pakistani girls and guys go and do much worse than walking down the road with a friend. I have been in a relationship previously and they know that and i was dumped. From then i said to them that i wont engage in any relationship before marriage. And i wont. But why cant they understand that me and him are just friends? My dads overreaction is that if i fail my exams this year thats it hes pulling me out of uni to cook and clean in the house. No fricking way. At this point in time whenever i go to uni i hate coming home. Constant do this so that. Then when i do sot down to study they call me to something else. Then when i try and take a break i get moaned at tor not studyiny. I just dont understand the ****ing logic. Ughhhhh.

    I mean ive been feeling down a lot lately. For about a week now ive been feeling "depressed". At first i thought maybe because i was lonely, despite having a lot of people to talk to you can feel like that i guess. But its just been going on now and i dont know why. Like i understand my parents point of view on things. But theyre so narrowminded. I mean i wasnt smoking, or drinking or anything bad, was walking with a guy friend like honestly iy just gets to me how annoying they can be.

    Generally i just dont feel happy with anything.
    I am muslim, and i know islam has rules and regulations to he followed and im trying my best but i doubt islam says dont have male friends.
    Being muslim in this state of mind i try and pray and listen to Qur'an and soothe myself hut once i stop i go back to being in a down mood most of the time. Just feel so much pressure on myself.
    I end up crying at weirdest of times. I just start crying in my room while studying, in bed, in lectures, randomly in uni ill end up bursting into tears.

    Sorry for the long rant. But i just need some advice.
    Thanks for reading it u got this far
    Such backwards thinking there's no room for that in this society I feel sorry for you it must be hard on you having that mindset drilled into you ever since you were young. I think the first thing you should be thinking about it is how to become independent you don't want to be too reliant on your parents and family. The more independent you become the less power your parents and family will have over you. So get that degree, find a decent job, save up and move out ASAP. Once you leave the household your parents will have less control over you. Become your own person if needed disregard your parents. Cold, but it works.
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    (Original post by somemightsay888)
    Smh at what would people say.

    I am Pakistani but thank **** I didn't have parents like that, I know people who do though. Religious Pakistani culture when it comes anything remotely involving gender mixing is backwards af. Reading your OP makes me angry lmao, your Dad in particular seems like sexist, ultra-traditional ballsack. However he can't "pull you out of Uni" or any of that ********, unless you need to rely on them for money he can't do ****, ignore his empty stupid threats. Don't segregate yourself from people regardless of gender and just ignore what your parents say. Ride it out and just pretend you agree with them and whatever, you're in no position to move out, that's a stupid fantasists idea. You won't be able to change your parents, this obsession with "but...but what will the community think" is ingrained into them.
    Not pakistani, but i ****ing hate socially conservative parents like that too. Need a slap tbh.
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    Ummm, as much as I don't like your parents views, don't disrespect them. They are still your parents no matter how bad they may be. You're at uni, enjoy your independence there and yeah your parents are over bearing, most parents are. Easy for me to say, but try to ride it out until you move out. But don't swear at them or do anything of the sort. They're your parents.

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    You care about your dad even though he sounds like a sexist douche whose trying to pull you out of uni to cook and clean instead? That's exactly how parents get kids under control hun. It escalates after a while.
    :yy:
    (Original post by Oblivion99)
    ***** digusting. I really hope all goes well for you. Culture/religious are both two prespective legislations so dont get confused between the two (culture is worster, believe me). My aunty is full Pakistani, and is a women-rights activist in Islamabad. If you were back home and you held such oppositions, you'd be killed right now and thrown into a river (sadly its the insinuating truth).
    What? really? Thats a bit extreme.. extreme...
    (Original post by al_94)
    Lol why do South Asians always complain about their parents/family?
    😒
    (Original post by samina_ay)
    why can i relate haha.. you could move out?
    Nahhh cant dat. Read above posts if ymu cba lol
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Man I get what you're saying so much, I gave my number to this boy in my class because he was struggling with work and I told him to just message me when he is stuck on homework and my mum saw me texting him and then she went on this whole over dramatic rant and she was crying and saying I was dishonouring her and ruining her name and the respect she has etc (you know the typical Pakistani parent stuff) and then she said to me whenever I see you talk to a boy he is always white I never see you talk to Pakistani boys and then she started saying stuff like if you ever fall in love with a white boy you are not my daughter anymore (oops too late lol) and all this stuff and she basically emotionally abused me everyday for a week and made me out to be a disgusting whore and her the innocent mother whose daughter doesnt listen to her all because I told this guy what he had to do for homework ))) I genuinely hate my life lmfao
    Lool, the whole crying their eyes out cos u was helping someome. Classic paki mentality. Happene to me before too.
    But hi5 not loving lofe myself either :five:
    (Original post by Black Cat)
    Such backwards thinking there's no room for that in this society I feel sorry for you it must be hard on you having that mindset drilled into you ever since you were young. I think the first thing you should be thinking about it is how to become independent you don't want to be too reliant on your parents and family. The more independent you become the less power your parents and family will have over you. So get that degree, find a decent job, save up and move out ASAP. Once you leave the household your parents will have less control over you. Become your own person if needed disregard your parents. Cold, but it works.
    Ive actually been trying so hard to find a job for myseld bcos i hate asking my dad for money. He neve says no but i hate taking it off of him when i do get it.
    (Original post by ZuluK)
    Ummm, as much as I don't like your parents views, don't disrespect them. They are still your parents no matter how bad they may be. You're at uni, enjoy your independence there and yeah your parents are over bearing, most parents are. Easy for me to say, but try to ride it out until you move out. But don't swear at them or do anything of the sort. They're your parents.

    I dont ever swear at my parents and i dont want to do aything to let them down so font worry. Just the fact that onviously if ur life consisys of uni, home, study, eat, sleep every single day and then gettinf moaned at constantly i di get agitated. But rven if i do speak rudely to them i feel so guilty i apologise almost straight away





    Srry for all the spelling errors to everyone.
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    I'm not Pakistani but my parents are so similar. God, I was just sitting here, thinking about how the way they've controlled me and limited all my freedoms has depressed me and made me miss out so many of the basic things people should have.

    In that situation with the guy, I've been in one before. But heck, it doesn't have to involve a guy for that line to be said, 'what will people think?'
    Even if I want to go out with bloody female friends, during the day, that line is dished out too. Idek what goes through their minds, They're so narrow minded it's sickening. Honestly, the sooner this generation ****ing die out, the better.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is anon bcos people know me on here and i want different opinions.

    Today walking down from uni, i was walking with a guy from my course just as friends. My parents walked past us as i was expecting them to anyway and then went shopping with them.
    My mum expressed her feelings to me pretty much there and then. My dad did later on. Saying how i dont care about anyone but myself and that i shouldnt be doing things like that because "what would people say?" I literally fricking hate that line so much. Who cares what people say. I mean seriously so many pakistani girls and guys go and do much worse than walking down the road with a friend. I have been in a relationship previously and they know that and i was dumped. From then i said to them that i wont engage in any relationship before marriage. And i wont. But why cant they understand that me and him are just friends? My dads overreaction is that if i fail my exams this year thats it hes pulling me out of uni to cook and clean in the house. No fricking way. At this point in time whenever i go to uni i hate coming home. Constant do this so that. Then when i do sot down to study they call me to something else. Then when i try and take a break i get moaned at tor not studyiny. I just dont understand the ****ing logic. Ughhhhh.

    I mean ive been feeling down a lot lately. For about a week now ive been feeling "depressed". At first i thought maybe because i was lonely, despite having a lot of people to talk to you can feel like that i guess. But its just been going on now and i dont know why. Like i understand my parents point of view on things. But theyre so narrowminded. I mean i wasnt smoking, or drinking or anything bad, was walking with a guy friend like honestly iy just gets to me how annoying they can be.

    Generally i just dont feel happy with anything.
    I am muslim, and i know islam has rules and regulations to he followed and im trying my best but i doubt islam says dont have male friends.
    Being muslim in this state of mind i try and pray and listen to Qur'an and soothe myself hut once i stop i go back to being in a down mood most of the time. Just feel so much pressure on myself.
    I end up crying at weirdest of times. I just start crying in my room while studying, in bed, in lectures, randomly in uni ill end up bursting into tears.

    Sorry for the long rant. But i just need some advice.
    Thanks for reading it u got this far


    OP please pm me. I'm in exact same situation. I feel so depressed because of all of their sexist views restricting my life! I feel like I would die soon if I conform to their social stigmas. Seriously, I feel like I have no control over my life which I don't tbh. And I'm sick and tired because I know what kind of lifestyle I want. It sucks even more because I know who I am and I'm not one of those typical desi daughter who would listen to her parents' sexist, discriminative and restrictive views. Its like I'm so badly trapped and have no idea about what to do with my life although I know exactly what I want in my life. I have this big issue where my parents think I will be okay getting an arranged marriage but I CANNOT AND WILL NOT MARRY A RANDOM GUY WHO I HAVE NOT EVEN TALKED TO. Seriously, I feel like I will die soon if I cannot live my life the way I wish to.
 
 
 
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