Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by kabolin)
    love it when you feel the need to explain yourself to me. insecure much????
    Says the person who was indulging in fallacious, deflective apologetics just moments before:

    (Original post by kabolin)
    lol lets not pretend english parents are the best.
    how many divorces has ur mum or dad gone through. are you born out of wedlock. do you speak to ur parents? or are u planning for them to live in a care home in old age?
    lol
    :rolleyes:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    you should assert your rights , dont let them tell you, that your wrong live life as you please , dont let them pressure you into anything!
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    qjnn
    • #6
    #6

    LoL how is it that my conservative 75 year old Indian grandmother keeps on mocking me for not having a gf and being a virgin like everyday, says she had 4 lovers by the time she was my age, says im not man enough and too nerdy. I'm only 17 for god sakes. She goes to the extent of trying to force me to meet with girls my age, whenever we go to a indian festival celebration
    I feel like ive got the opposite problem
    and i think there will be a few non-muslim Indians who have a similar problem
    maybe.


    Feels bad man
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is anon bcos people know me on here and i want different opinions.

    Generally i just dont feel happy with anything.
    I am muslim, and i know islam has rules and regulations to he followed and im trying my best but i doubt islam says dont have male friends.
    Being muslim in this state of mind i try and pray and listen to Qur'an and soothe myself hut once i stop i go back to being in a down mood most of the time. Just feel so much pressure on myself.

    Thanks for reading it u got this far
    Does being muslim really make you happy, or is it just feeling like a set of rules you're being forced to live by. If it's making you miserable, then you don't HAVE to be a muslim, surely. Or am I being hopelessly naïve here? Is it once a muslim, always a muslin?
    • #7
    #7

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is anon bcos people know me on here and i want different opinions.

    Today walking down from uni, i was walking with a guy from my course just as friends. My parents walked past us as i was expecting them to anyway and then went shopping with them.
    My mum expressed her feelings to me pretty much there and then. My dad did later on. Saying how i dont care about anyone but myself and that i shouldnt be doing things like that because "what would people say?" I literally fricking hate that line so much. Who cares what people say. I mean seriously so many pakistani girls and guys go and do much worse than walking down the road with a friend. I have been in a relationship previously and they know that and i was dumped. From then i said to them that i wont engage in any relationship before marriage. And i wont. But why cant they understand that me and him are just friends? My dads overreaction is that if i fail my exams this year thats it hes pulling me out of uni to cook and clean in the house. No fricking way. At this point in time whenever i go to uni i hate coming home. Constant do this so that. Then when i do sot down to study they call me to something else. Then when i try and take a break i get moaned at tor not studyiny. I just dont understand the ****ing logic. Ughhhhh.

    I mean ive been feeling down a lot lately. For about a week now ive been feeling "depressed". At first i thought maybe because i was lonely, despite having a lot of people to talk to you can feel like that i guess. But its just been going on now and i dont know why. Like i understand my parents point of view on things. But theyre so narrowminded. I mean i wasnt smoking, or drinking or anything bad, was walking with a guy friend like honestly iy just gets to me how annoying they can be.

    Generally i just dont feel happy with anything.
    I am muslim, and i know islam has rules and regulations to he followed and im trying my best but i doubt islam says dont have male friends.
    Being muslim in this state of mind i try and pray and listen to Qur'an and soothe myself hut once i stop i go back to being in a down mood most of the time. Just feel so much pressure on myself.
    I end up crying at weirdest of times. I just start crying in my room while studying, in bed, in lectures, randomly in uni ill end up bursting into tears.

    Sorry for the long rant. But i just need some advice.
    Thanks for reading it u got this far
    i perfectly get your point, im arab, and arabs are literally the exact same as your parents
    im not gonna cuss the life out of parents, because im in the exact same position as you but i hate when i tell someone and all i get is them just cussing my parents, like i love them so much, but some stuff they do and say just makes you want to rip your hair out
    but some advice
    1) never let them see you even look at a guy, because trust me, **** would go down, its happened to me before and it was really ugly
    2) dont talk about moving out and basically, when theyre talking to you, NEVER talk back, even if what theyre saying is misunderstandings, even if you're telling them they got the wrong idea, they would see you getting so defensive, and they would think that you're defo doing something wrong
    3) when you're studying, never take a break infront of them, literally act like you're studyiing non-stop, when theyre not in your room, take a break then
    try your best not to think about this whole thing
    trust me, ive been through worse, literally to the point that i have a boyfriend who im banging and stuff, and there are times where i seriously wish i was disabled, because all my siblings have mental disorders, and im the only one whos normal, therefore the only one who they keep suspecting of having a boyfriend and that ********
    try to not overthink this stuff, its hard, but try your best not to think about it
    because if you do, you would literally stay depressed for the rest of your life
    i for one, i wish i can just get married asap, and move out, that way theyd stop the suspicions and everything, if you find it hard to not be depressed, id suggest you just get married, seriously speaking
    youd literally start a new life
    but stay strong, dont let anything bring you down
    here's something that would hopefully make you feel lighter..
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN-TNtUNXMA
    • #7
    #7

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i perfectly get your point, im arab, and arabs are literally the exact same as your parents
    im not gonna cuss the life out of parents, because im in the exact same position as you but i hate when i tell someone and all i get is them just cussing my parents, like i love them so much, but some stuff they do and say just makes you want to rip your hair out
    but some advice
    1) never let them see you even look at a guy, because trust me, **** would go down, its happened to me before and it was really ugly
    2) dont talk about moving out and basically, when theyre talking to you, NEVER talk back, even if what theyre saying is misunderstandings, even if you're telling them they got the wrong idea, they would see you getting so defensive, and they would think that you're defo doing something wrong
    3) when you're studying, never take a break infront of them, literally act like you're studyiing non-stop, when theyre not in your room, take a break then
    try your best not to think about this whole thing
    trust me, ive been through worse, literally to the point that i have a boyfriend who im banging and stuff, and there are times where i seriously wish i was disabled, because all my siblings have mental disorders, and im the only one whos normal, therefore the only one who they keep suspecting of having a boyfriend and that ********
    try to not overthink this stuff, its hard, but try your best not to think about it
    because if you do, you would literally stay depressed for the rest of your life
    i for one, i wish i can just get married asap, and move out, that way theyd stop the suspicions and everything, if you find it hard to not be depressed, id suggest you just get married, seriously speaking
    youd literally start a new life
    but stay strong, dont let anything bring you down
    here's something that would hopefully make you feel lighter..
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN-TNtUNXMA
    to the point that they thought****
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    I sometimes feel the same, although not pakistanis
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Hi At least he's let you into uni alhmadillah my dad has messed everything for me he's made me run his business since a very young and has brain washed me in school days not let me study or anything just helping him run his business the course I've did was photography because that's the business my dad has to do with asian wedding photography because my dad always used to mistreat me infront of others whilst at weddings i started to hate it but then I had no choice of dropping out the course or tellkng him i didn't wanna work with him because he just constantly kick of and scream the whole place out and I have wasted school times and college times because when i left college i said let me go uni and they said no mum said either find a job or do an apprenticeship becasue times have changed you can't even find a job with a level 3 diploma and there no apprenticeship in photography and now I have no choice because all my dad ever says is am gonna give the business to you he can't even trust me with the camera and studio how is he gonna trust me with the business he's messed my life up going with him taking pictures either his way or no way mistreated by him in front of people always sworn and pushed about and can't even apply for a job and don't even get paid and he hasn't even got quality work and he doesn't even listen to me and when ever he see's other photographers kids helping there dad always puts me down how can i run your business if your not gonna let me touch the cameras or even listen to me seriously please be greatful that they've let you in uni i understand things can get tough because my life's fully messed up
    Online

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is anon bcos people know me on here and i want different opinions.

    Today walking down from uni, i was walking with a guy from my course just as friends. My parents walked past us as i was expecting them to anyway and then went shopping with them.
    My mum expressed her feelings to me pretty much there and then. My dad did later on. Saying how i dont care about anyone but myself and that i shouldnt be doing things like that because "what would people say?" I literally fricking hate that line so much. Who cares what people say. I mean seriously so many pakistani girls and guys go and do much worse than walking down the road with a friend. I have been in a relationship previously and they know that and i was dumped. From then i said to them that i wont engage in any relationship before marriage. And i wont. But why cant they understand that me and him are just friends? My dads overreaction is that if i fail my exams this year thats it hes pulling me out of uni to cook and clean in the house. No fricking way. At this point in time whenever i go to uni i hate coming home. Constant do this so that. Then when i do sot down to study they call me to something else. Then when i try and take a break i get moaned at tor not studyiny. I just dont understand the ****ing logic. Ughhhhh.

    I mean ive been feeling down a lot lately. For about a week now ive been feeling "depressed". At first i thought maybe because i was lonely, despite having a lot of people to talk to you can feel like that i guess. But its just been going on now and i dont know why. Like i understand my parents point of view on things. But theyre so narrowminded. I mean i wasnt smoking, or drinking or anything bad, was walking with a guy friend like honestly iy just gets to me how annoying they can be.

    Generally i just dont feel happy with anything.
    I am muslim, and i know islam has rules and regulations to he followed and im trying my best but i doubt islam says dont have male friends.
    Being muslim in this state of mind i try and pray and listen to Qur'an and soothe myself hut once i stop i go back to being in a down mood most of the time. Just feel so much pressure on myself.
    I end up crying at weirdest of times. I just start crying in my room while studying, in bed, in lectures, randomly in uni ill end up bursting into tears.

    Sorry for the long rant. But i just need some advice.
    Thanks for reading it u got this far
    get away as far as you can from them. go to a uni on the other side of the country. thats what i would do. harsh, but i need to live my life my way, not some traditional 1960s Asian way. no sir.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Faisal.96)
    Hi At least he's let you into uni alhmadillah my dad has messed everything for me he's made me run his business since a very young and has brain washed me in school days not let me study or anything just helping him run his business the course I've did was photography because that's the business my dad has to do with asian wedding photography because my dad always used to mistreat me infront of others whilst at weddings i started to hate it but then I had no choice of dropping out the course or tellkng him i didn't wanna work with him because he just constantly kick of and scream the whole place out and I have wasted school times and college times because when i left college i said let me go uni and they said no mum said either find a job or do an apprenticeship becasue times have changed you can't even find a job with a level 3 diploma and there no apprenticeship in photography and now I have no choice because all my dad ever says is am gonna give the business to you he can't even trust me with the camera and studio how is he gonna trust me with the business he's messed my life up going with him taking pictures either his way or no way mistreated by him in front of people always sworn and pushed about and can't even apply for a job and don't even get paid and he hasn't even got quality work and he doesn't even listen to me and when ever he see's other photographers kids helping there dad always puts me down how can i run your business if your not gonna let me touch the cameras or even listen to me seriously please be greatful that they've let you in uni i understand things can get tough because my life's fully messed up
    I actually think its not fair when people do that. When they get their children into the family business. What if down the line you just give up on it...

    Speak to your dad.. i hope it works out.
    (Original post by storm95)
    get away as far as you can from them. go to a uni on the other side of the country. thats what i would do. harsh, but i need to live my life my way, not some traditional 1960s Asian way. no sir.
    Ah, ive been feeling like crap lately again oh well.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Omg a similar thing just happened to me today and I’m so PISSED offSo basically I wanted to go out for an educational visit to a museum in London with my friends and my parents took it as a threat . Like wtfLater they calmed for a bit and mum starts talking utter **** like ‘you should know your limits’ and my dads starts on even more ******** like ‘you are too precious to us’Like ffs why wad I born with this life. What’s even worse is that I have to go on another day WITH MY MUM at the age of 17I just hate this mentality that they have. I’m gonna start praying that the next generation has it better
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    My mum said date a white guy
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    I understand the pressure

    You need to find peace with in yourself and ignore your parents. Or teach them how the world has developed from the era they were living in, honestly, do what makes you happy.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Any girl that fails to obey and honour her father will never make a good wife and mother.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: December 11, 2017
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Would you like to hibernate through the winter months?
    Useful resources
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.